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we're so close now i can feel
a wave every time you move.
not touching.

the girl is sitting on the boy's lap
he's holding her waist, legs twined.
but shes not me.

sitting next to you, ur knees,
we touch, then jump apart.
we never used to.

super cute drunk girl skipping,
**** boy being the man.
i'm busy playing mother hen.

our faces inches apart, smiles,
not important, eyes say all.
breathing as one.

i'm the one who told the boy
how to get the one girl he wanted.
whats wrong with me?

a joke only we understand,
a converstion we can remember.
what happened to us?

oh. i did this.
i fell for the boy,
i gained her friendship.

i made a decision to wait,
to not go for what i wanted.
for you.

i became your friend, explained
how to date my best girlfriend.
i ended possibilities.

and told you because i'm dumb.
ruining any chance of protecting
what we did have.

i dont hate the girl, she has
nothing to apologize for.
neither does he.

*its not their fault i'm in love.
There's a silence within me.
No words are able to form,
no feelings can be expressed,
as if my head and heart are empty.
Empty of everything sensible
and empty of anything logical.
It's like I'm searching for
the reasonable side of life.

No noise comes from my spirit,
it finds no reason to make any.
The feelings are being pressed away,
thoughts are found useless
and thrown away.

Gone is the sensible,
gone is the logical
and on goes the search
for the reasonable.
April 8th, 2007 - taken from my older collection
young love
demands perfection
of face, form and intent
old love
stitches together
the frayed
seeing the beauty
in patchwork

— The End —