I walked into the room demading your attention
Taking captive the entire crowd as my audience,
and all it took
was a little Paint and Glue -  
   otherwise referred to as "Makeup" and "Hairspray".

I turned every head in the room - including yours.
I even rendered you speechless.
But is that
REALLY
The way I want to win you?

I'm sure it doesn't hurt and there are perfectly logical reasons behind it...
But I don't want you
To want me
For (only) that.
What I want
is for you
To want ME
and my Beauty be
an Added Bonus.

When you look at me, what do you see?
Internal or External Beauty?
Or
Am I just another girl...?

You are more than all of that to me.
And capture my attention every time you walk into the room.
You, my dear, have something
No one else has
And you
Don't
Even
Know
It.

You have my heart,
whether you want it or not,
and even though you
never
asked for it.
My heart chose you.

The worst part is that while I've chosen you,
You're choosing her
and are leaving my heart
to vie
for
position.

As I look at the cards in my hand
I examine and scrutinize them
Trying to figure out my next move.
I had a few cards up my sleeve
     (Or so I thought)
But they've all been played -
Maybe too early, maybe too late -
And now reside in the discard pile
All used up
With no impact
On this part
Of the game.

Now I can only use what's in my hand,
Which isn't much, I fear.
Decisions. Decisions.

What's next?
I could hold my hand and bluff through another round
Hoping that she chooses to fold,
Or I could reveal all I hold
and eject myself from this game...
To concede all the points to you or try to keep my chips in play...
What to do? What to do?

There is one card that I have left.
Though, it may not be nearly as powerful as what you seem to hold.
The last card
I have left is
the "Friends" Card:
To form a friendship
and never cross into
what Could-Have-Been;
Never letting my true emotions show,
But always being the "Go-to Girl";
The "Safety-Net";
The "Friend."

This card is like a Wild
It may not be all powerful,
but it certainly makes the owner feel
Some semblance of control;
Some connection;
Some entrance into the game.

So the decision has been made, I guess.
I'll hold this card in my hand
Until all else collapses,
Or until we're all in
And the chips fall
to the
Luckiest player of the night.

Snowman

I see his eyes
Dark and black
But they have potential
To be a fire,
Warm, bright, inviting.
I think I saw that light once
In your eyes.

Then there’s the mouth-
Nothing but a stick-
Crooked and sly
Yet happy in Appearance
Reminding me of your smile
Constant, steady, strong

As I admire the snowman,
A song floods my mind:
“There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
For when they placed it on his head he began to dance around…”
You never danced, but maybe…
Maybe he will.

So I try,
but to my dismay
He dances a lot like you.
Tall and stiff
No dancing tonight.

He makes no promises.
With him there is no chance of forever.
He’s just around til the weather changes.
Easy on the eyes.
Easier on the heart.

Another line of that familiar song:
“Frosty, the snowman, was a fairy-tale they say
He was made of snow but the children know how he came to life that day.”

Cold, wet, white.
Smiling, warm eyes, nostalgic.
Forever etched in memories.
The end of a fairy-tale.
Enter into the life of grown-ups
Where I’d rather pick apart fairy-tales
Than to believe in them.

Goodbye Frosty.
Goodbye to you.

These wall used to be a fortress-
High and mighty they stood.
No cracks.
No crevices.
No way in.
No way out.

I was a princess
Tucked away in the tower.
A tower of fortitude I had built for myself -
My shell of protection
Around my heart
Around myself.

But the days have gone by.
Everyday this princess has grown stronger,
While the fortress walls have chipped apart
Piece by piece.
Brick by brick.
From the inside out
They crumbled.

The outside still looks tough.
Impenetrable.
But from where I stand,
I can see
And know
That – Baby-
These walls are paper thin
Waiting for you
To tear them down
By sending your light-
Your love.

As you huff and puff
And blow this house of cards down
To the ground,
We’ll watch the remnants fall around us.

Miles above earth and sea
The world stops for an hour or so
Leaving the passengers
To chat
Or read
Or sleep
Or stew

It’s mostly silent except for
The enamored couple on the left
And the life long friends four seats up
And the baby screaming in the back
And the attendants hustling down the aisle.

But life is on pause for these passengers
As they travel from one destination
To the next
Soaring above the world
Full of busyness
And cell phones
And worry

They don’t realize their solitude
Tucked away from the world below,
They chat
Or read
Or sleep
Or stew
Anxious and waiting
To go back to that world
To rejoin humanity
In all its laughter
And sorrow

Thank you Gravity.

If you would chase me,
You might be surprised
At what you find
My reaction
To be.

I would probably greet you
With open arms,
A smile
And
A kiss.

I’m sure fear
Would rear
Its ugly head.

Fear of commitment.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of repeating past mistakes.
But if you wanted me,
If you chased me,
I may forget all of that
Just to try again.

Call me stupid,
But I won’t run after you.
I don’t like it.
I refuse to be the chaser.
But if you would chase me -
Just to start the exchange -
I promise
I will meet you halfway.

You wouldn’t have to run far
to secure my affections.
If you were right
and willing.

Until you start the pursuit,
Though,
Let it be known
That I play the “friends card” well.
Very well.
Maybe too well.
And I would rather have you
As a friend
than as a lost lover
Heartbroken
Over something gone awry.

So I’m here
Waiting
To meet you halfway
Even if it is
Three steps forward
And two steps back.