Sort lost thoughts;

Yet find

Dangling want o'er mind's lip.





Star Toucher, 11 March 2013

The moon was crescent the day our eyes first met.
We gazed at each other as my brow glazed of
sweat from the hot summer night.
The moon was full the night
I kissed your knuckles.
The nights were chillier but our hearts were
warm
and
fast.
The moon was waxing the early morning
we woke up and ate peaches and picked flowers.
You put it in my hair and told me
never
to take it out and
never
to leave your side.
The moon was first quarter the night we
smoked cigarettes
and screamed of our love to anyone who would
listen.
The moon was a waxing gibbous the night you
saved me from myself. I was drowning and
couldn't
find a way out. You were the only one there.
The moon was in the third quarter when you began
to drown me.
I hesitated and gasped and fell to the earth again
where the brown grass grows and the flowers
die.
It was a new moon when you found me for the last time.
I cried to you and felt helpless and alone and cold.
you held me and I kissed your knuckles and pretended
this was happy.
For the last time.

Slowly I lose myself in drudgery
Trudging up and up the worn path
Others have taken before me.
I see the footprints single file
None return from whence we came.
I find the bones that gave way
Turning to dust or filth.
Some weren't strong enough
To withstand the struggle
Fighting for what we know not
Under masters we see not.
Wearily I keep going
This ends soon,
I hope.

All my life
I sought
an angel.
And he appeared
in order to say:
"I am no angel !"

I told you not to forget
but you did,
a letter resigned in a drawer,
a story left to grow dust
and words to vaporise
like they were never written
and meant one thing.

I liked our kaleidoscope moments,
candy-colours in triangles and circles,
melting stained glass
but you broke it,
dropped it on the floor or something
and we couldn't fix it,
those reds and greens and golds
a sprinkled memory
at the back of our brains.

So we used a spinning top
and watched it ****
upon the table,
round and round
but it slowed,
staggering
like a man intoxicated
and it fell from the wooziness,
too sick to go on.

So we played chess
even though I am mediocre at it
and I was white,
you were black,
the little kings, queens, bishops
forced forwards by our fingers
until they didn't want to play anymore,
back in the box please,
and you won, of course,
you won every game with ease.

Said we'd play again sometime
but you didn't remember
and I bought a new kaleidoscope too,
just for us to use
but you forgot didn't you,
it happened again.

Peeking through the blinds,
spying on the sunrise.
I live in the dark,
with my memories of The Fable.
hoping to send them away,
with the empty bottles on my coffee table.
My clothes smell of you and beer,
In the linen, are stains of tears.
My heart lives in the emptiness of tombs,
drinking my sad thoughts closer to my room.
In the morning, I listen to the tea leaves hit the steamy water.
Sipping on my cup as I watched her.
Staring at the reflection of your eyes in my cup,
listening to each final bubble burst, as I look up.
I never did understand the meaning of photo albums,
since it makes me cry for miles,
when I see pictures of our young smiles.
Reaching a distant high,
from your beautiful scent, still on my jacket,
From where you wept.
You told me, it’s the people who suffer,
who make good lovers.
I guess you already knew,
what was to be my fate,
ever since our first date.
I don’t want to be just a memory and slip into your past,
I want to be your present,
But it all went much too fast.
There’s no more emotion here,
and soon I will just disappear.
Watching the clouds pass in the reflection of the cars,
letting my life pass with them, to the stars.
Now its late, its half past four
and there’s a knock at my door.
Maybe its you, or maybe its my second death.
Everyone dies the first death, but the second,
is where you are forgotten.
Here is where we first kissed,
but I don’t want to be missed.

You never realize how
Dark the night is
Until some one snuffs out
Your candle.

And you have to
***** around in the dark
For some matches.

You swear you put them
Next to the coffee machine,
But it doesn't matter now.

That flame
Can not
Be relit,
No matter how hard
You try.

You must find
Another source of light,
Something more reliable.

A flashlight perhaps.

But one day
That will be snuffed out too.
Not even batteries
Last
Forever.