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Ashley Dewicki Mar 2018
I’m broken.
and I wish I could explain why.
especially to her.
but I’ll never be able to.
and I don’t know if I can live with that.
Ashley Dewicki Feb 2018
Sometimes I sit alone.
And I wish that I could cry.

Maybe then I can drain the part of you that lingers in my head.

But all I feel is empty.

Your love filled me up.
And now that you’re gone
I feel like The Sahara.

A desolate wasteland.
Ashley Dewicki Feb 2018
It’s hard to put into words,
How incredibly alone I feel.

Empty inside.

It seems as though everyone else is moving forward,
And I’m stuck.

Frozen in a time,
When there was you and I.

But now there’s just me.
Only me.
Ashley Dewicki Jan 2018
Why does this place feel more like home than my own?
It wasn’t until I left my own house that I realized it was never really my home.
I was.
Four walls.
Brick and mortar.
I am my home.
Everyday I sit and I stay.
You leave when it's dark.
"Be a good boy." You tell me as you go.
Oh yes, just you wait.
I will show you I can be a good boy.
While you're gone, I look out the window.
It's bright out now.
The man with the bag of letters came.
Don't worry, I barked at him.
Everything is safe.
Across the street, the small fluffy creatures stare at me.
It's okay, I keep my eyes on them in case they try anything.
Most days you return when it's dark again.
I sit, I stay, and I wait and I wait and I wait.
You don't come though.
Where are you?
I wait and wait....
Just like a good boy would.
Light and dark have passed many times.
My food bowl is empty.
When will you come home?
I miss you
It's slowly getting cold.
I wish you were here to wrap your warm arms around me.
I've been a good boy.
I promise.
Are you mad at me...?

Please, come home.
Ashley Dewicki Jan 2018
Turn a day downtown into a road trip to another country.
Listen to the music too loud.
Have a drink. Have another drink.
Let loose.
Forget about your problems holding you down.
Remember things are never as bad as they seem.
Lay down under the stars.
Listen to the water splash against the shore.
Feel the cool summer night in your bones.
Touch the smooth rocks beneath you.
Catch a glimpse of love in another’s eyes.
Drink in the moment.
Realize how small you are in the universe.
Remember things are never as bad as they seem.
Ashley Dewicki Dec 2017
When you pop into my head, things get blurry.
Sometimes I feel as though you’re an unwanted guest in my mind.
Other times I welcome you with open arms.
This is because I have yet to figure you out.
Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
I know deep down what you want from me, but I tell myself there’s more to it.
So I keep holding on, waiting for that stream of light to pierce through my skull.
I never give up anymore.
That way, no matter the outcome,
I never really lose.
I live with purpose, not regrets.
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