The hardest part of you leaving was not the possibility that you may never return

It was accepting the fact that maybe I didn't want you to.

It's too late to fix what you have broken.

It's too late to be the person I pretended you were.

I can't sleep with you running through my mind.
I never wanted to be this weak, dependent on you for my happiness.
I want to be my own person, I didn't want to need a man to make me feel like I belonged.
I hate that he makes me so weak. I hate that I fall so hard. Every **** time I get too caught up in my feelings and I lose myself.
I want to be stronger, I want to live a life that I can be proud of, that gives me reason to be.
There's nothing wrong with needing him, needing love, it's basic human emotion.
But I hate that I can't sleep right now because all I think about is you. Seeing you. Kissing you. Just being with you.
I want to cry, maybe that would make me feel better, to be able to wash you out of my head.
The saddest part is, I'll probably never tell you any of this.
I haven't told you a lot about me, and I don't think you really know me.
We have time though. I want you to know everything, I just don't know how to say it, but I know how to write it.
And I want to know everything about you, because I think I love you and that scares me because I don't really know if I ever loved like this before.
I want him to know who I am, what I see, what I think.
I feel so much and most of the time it just hurts. It makes me ache so badly.
I just want you here. I just want to hold your hand and squeeze it tight just to make sure this isn't a dream.
But then again, it can't be a dream because I can't sleep.
So I'll just lay here, wide awake, pretending that I'm dreaming, that way I can imagine you laying here with me,
holding me tightly,
your sent intoxicating me.
Making me feel whole.

Two months gone, but it feels like a year. Time moves slower without you here.

I miss you more and more each day, I wish you had chosen to stay.

You're always in my head, contemplating all the things I wish I had said.

I see you in the rising sun, but what you did cannot be undone.

The leaves are changing now, but I wish I would have told you how

much I loved you and your spirit, now when the winds blows I can hear it.

That grief you held was too much to bear, because you didn't know of all those who cared.

Free from woe and all the pain, on the day you left, all it did was rain.

The scars of the past won't fade fast, but my love for you will forever last.

You will always have a piece of my heart, for as long as we are apart.

But not for too long, I promise, my dear, because life is harder without you here.

*The pain never goes away, we just learn to deal with it.

She's standing in front of me, blank face, her eyes wide.
She takes her hands and stabs me in the chest, prying my body open.
She rips out my heart.
Guts.
Thoughts.
Feelings.
Everything I wanted to say spews out of me.
I fall to the ground.
It's too late now to say the words that are oozing out of my mangled frame.
I should've said them when I had the chance.
She stands over my dying body, expressionless.
She walks away slowly, head held high, and doesn't look back.

The only thing I can do is watch her leave me.

I cannot speak, the words are entangled in the blood on the floor.

I cannot blink, I was forced to watch everything I've ever loved hurt me as they leave.

Tears are my only comfort at this point, the one thing I know I can count on.

Talk to me.
Tell me the truth.
I can't keep living this way.
Give me some proof.

That you're still the man I knew.
The one who said, "I'm yours."
I need you to be that man.
In order to end these wars.

The silent ones were battling each day.
The ones that make me feel numb.
Without you I feel empty inside.
But your wrongs cannot be easily undone.

Things will never be the same.
You broke my heart.
I don't want us to stay this way.
You tore my life apart.

But I can't be mad at you.
I only feel sad.
I wish you'd just grow up.
And I wish that I could be mad.

I want to move on.
But you won't let me.
You live inside my head.
Because I don't believe your story.

So please just tell me why.
I'm a big girl, I can handle the truth.
You can't just use me this way.
I feel like I'm wasting my youth.

I came to the conclusion as to why parents aren't scared of anything.

When I was little, I always thought my mom and dad were fearless. It wasn't until now that I realize nothing hurts more than a broken heart. In our lives, we cannot avoid having our hearts broken. We lose the ones we love all the time. They either walk out on you or are taken away. Once you experience that, nothing else in the world can hurt you as much. So, you aren't as scared to walk out into the pitch black night when you've gone to hell and back trying to fix your smashed up filthy ***** heart.