i pray these feelings will pass
sometimes your words cut like glass
and leave me so broken, so alone
in this place i try to call home
and i wanted more than this
how it hurts with every kiss
and sometimes i just feel afraid
picking apart all the decisions i've made
because is this me
who i wanted to be
or did i fall short, full of mistake
pain in every breath i take
when i feel worthless, empty
and the tears fall plenty
and i just wanna sleep
fall into the dark & deep
or grow wings and fly away
why even bother to pray
when it doesn't change
everything looks strange
it all starts to shatter
i just wanted to matter

she sits in her garden for hours and hours
always loved the dirt, the smell of flowers
her hands are gnarled and scarred by time
but he always tells her she looks just fine
each morning he pushes her chair
into the sunlight, out in the fresh air
and he sees the tear roll down her cheek
and knows it hurts her that she can't speak
so he finds the words she's searching for
let's her know she's the one he'll always adore
he struggles to keep the garden nice and neat
sings her songs with words so sweet
he braids her white hair
and puts the flowers there
remembers her when she was twenty
the love, the laughter, memories are plenty
there's heaviness in his heart, every day
because he knows that she's slipping away
he takes her hand, places it close to his heart
and promises her they'll never really be apart
in this garden she will always be
ready to give him all he can see
she will wait until the time is right
to lead him into the promised Light
and they will return home, together
this love has always been forever

even though i don't know you yet
and i know we've never met
i feel so much love, straight from the heart
and i can't wait for you to be a part
of this family that's wanted you for so long
can't wait to play you a bedtime song
rock you to sleep in waiting arms
do my best to protect you from harms
teach you of the world i want you to know
watch you learn, see you grow
give you all i have to give
and you'll show me how to live
and make each day an adventure
i'll never feel anything as pure
i'll hold your little hand, touch your face
you make the world a more beautiful place
loving you will never be too late
and it will all be worth the wait
to the child i love so much
whose life i can't wait to touch
i may not have carried you
but this love is so true
because you were chosen

for every mark, every scar
that's led you to where you are
for every tear you've cried
every dream you tried
at the end of the day
it doesn't matter what you say
it's what lies within you
the things that you do
because actions speak loud
when you hold yourself proud
and know that beauty runs deep
so close your eyes and sleep
there's always brightness in tomorrow
when you free yourself from sorrow
and drop everything that's a chain
holding you here to your pain
when you embrace great things
you'll find your way, grow your wings

whether it's the joy or the pain
you feel it pouring down like rain
and will it ever end
break or bend
give it all or give it up
how do you know if it's enough
when the road seems rocky, path grows dim
will you sink or will you swim
it's the in between
waking or dream
that you have to figure out
who knows what it's all about
this life, the journey or destination
can you handle any situation
because life is full of twist and turn
will you fade away or will you burn
decisions, they're always yours to make
will you always give or will you take
let it all just slip away
it's up to you at the end of the day

when things feel like they're spinning out of control
you'll find faith in the darkest corners of your soul
when it feels like hard times are never ending
you'll find strength, hope in new beginnings
because you're so much greater than you believe
and there's nothing in life you can't achieve
find the time to dream, to love, to pray
because tomorrow is another day
you can always be better than you are
to light up the night, shine like a star
find your purpose, leave your mark
you never know when you'll touch a heart
or change a life without even knowing
seeds of kindness are always growing
seek out the good in a difficult situation
realize we are all part of a beautiful creation
look for the blessings, find the smile
because sadness only lasts a little while

she wanted to sparkle, she wanted to shine
they'd pat her head and tell her she was fine
it may glitter but it'll never be gold
the world wasn't hers to hold
arms come up empty
when promises are plenty
eyes become afraid to see
that she is young, she is free
the chains that bind
are hers to find
she has the key
this is just a memory
of a life painted black
nothing has to hold her back
voices fade in and out
between a whisper and a shout
she's drinking from a broken cup
it's these things that wake her up
the night seems so long
she'll sing a broken song
in these moments there's peace
she'll find a sweet release
and she'll know
that she's meant to grow
and she will sparkle
she will shine

"Mama, teach me how to pray
I'm not sure what to say
are you sure He'll hear
will my words reach His ear?
are you sure i can speak?
when He is strong & i am weak
does God know what's in my heart?
and can He lead me through the dark?
when i bow my head in prayer
is He really always there?
are you sure He hears it all?
sometimes my voice seems so small"
sweet child, no matter the place, the hour
trust that there is a Higher Power
One who loves us, pure and true
He will always see us through
there's no right thing to say
when you bow your head to pray
because He will listen and knows your fears
and never likes to see your tears
and He will guide you through the dark of night
and show you the beauty of the morning light
when soft breeze blows through your hair
know that that is God, he is there
in everything, in everyone, He surrounds
and loves you without bounds
because you are His child, His creation

Grow Your Wings (poem by me)

for every mark, every scar
that's led you to where you are
for every tear you've cried
every dream you tried
at the end of the day
it doesn't matter what you say
it's what lies within you
the things that you do
because actions speak loud
when you hold yourself proud
and know that beauty runs deep
so close your eyes and sleep
there's always brightness in tomorrow
when you free yourself from sorrow
and drop everything that's a chain
holding you here to your pain
when you embrace great things
you'll find your way, grow your wings

will you stand & fight (poem by me)

will you stand and fight
for what is good & what is right
or will you hide in fear
afraid that someone might hear
if your opinions go against the grain
will you be the sun behind the rain
the truth always sets you free
if you are not afraid to be
yourself, complete and whole
it's your life, you're in control
the only opinion that matters in the end
isn't your family, your neighbor or friends
it's yours and yours alone
what you feel deep to the bone
so do what you feel is right
even if it's a losing fight
know that even if you feel rejected
we are still here, all connected
spiritual beings... having a human experience

even though i don't know you yet
and i know we've never met
i feel so much love, straight from the heart
and i can't wait for you to be a part
of this family that's wanted you for so long
can't wait to play you a bedtime song
rock you to sleep in waiting arms
do my best to protect you from harms
teach you of the world i want you to know
watch you learn, see you grow
give you all i have to give
and you'll show me how to live
and make each day an adventure
i'll never feel anything as pure
i'll hold your little hand, touch your face
you make the world a more beautiful place
loving you will never be too late
and it will all be worth the wait
to the child i love so much
whose life i can't wait to touch
i may not have carried you
but this love is so true
because you were chosen

you said you wanted the truth
the ramblings of a misspent youth
as if it'd set us free
there was always more to me
than anyone gave me credit for
how i always wanted more
is it bittersweet?
when two worlds meet
how i longed for a simple life
to be a mother, to be a wife
days pass by and i'm too tired to sleep
and i feel a fire burning way down deep
i close my eyes and try to see
is this really the best of me?
somedays the world seems strange
living a life where things don't change
i know i wouldn't change a thing
little hands in mine, my wedding ring
somedays i know you feel it too
and it never was about you
it's me, this wild and new desire
to light the night, set the world on fire
be the change i want the world to see
all these dreams that make up me

they call her bus stop Betty, don't mind the bags
the matted hair and how her clothes are in rags
she smiles with missing teeth
shows you the shoes on her feet
covered in holes, one missing a heel
"it don't matter, it's how I feel
when the clouds come rolling by
i know i ain't got a reason to cry
because God been good to me
he ain't done, this ain't who i'm gonna be"
whatever she has she's willing to share
as she folds her hands in prayer
gives thanks for a life many would pity
but she sees real beauty, knows what's pretty
she sees past the violence, the crime
there's so much more than dirt and grime
that makes up this woman, she's hiding wings
i feel the faith every time she sings
and when i see her weep
i know it just goes so deep
beyond what i could understand
and how she fits here in this land
i buy her breakfast, we become friends
we talk about beginnings, about ends
how life is one great circle, constantly spinning
i see her watching me, she's grinning
and it's in those dark brown eyes, that toothless smile
that makes me realize it's all worth while
and that there's a life greater than I'm living
the purpose here is loving... and giving

I found you
so lost and helpless
and I tried to call for you
to let you know
my love is forever
that no matter what
I would give my life for you
time and time again
I'd bear that cross
if it meant forgiveness
for your sins
because i know that you
yes, you
are so much greater
than you believe
i walk with you
even when you cannot see
and i try to let you know
i'd never abandon you
because you are part of me
and we're all made of love
when you are blind
i will sing to you
when you go deaf
i will touch your hand
and someday
when we're face to face
you may ask me why
I've wept
and I will say
out of love my child
because no matter how dark
you were led by faith

stars shining against inky skies
and you can't find the truth in my eyes
all the lives i've known before
always seeking something more
than this
steal a kiss
seal it with your word
sweetest thing i ever heard
i always liked pretty things
try to distract you from my wings
that have turned dark as coal
something stirs inside my soul
passion? hope?
where's the rope?
i'll lasso it in
so i can live again
across foreign sands
searching for your hands
to bring me back home
the only place i belong
if you taste the pain
you'll know that tears stain
and you can't outrun the past
sometimes memories last

sometimes my words sound hollow
like a plot i just can't follow
and i wonder if this is me
or am i just trying to be
whatever makes things right
i wanna paint my words across the night
sew up wounds that never heal
just for once be okay to feel
i've locked my demons up inside
all these scars i tried to hide
and now i feel them bleeding through
so many things i want to do
but i've been holding back
in the shadows, in the black
the darkest night i had no calm
holding my dreams in my palm
feeling them slip between each finger
heart beats slowly, thoughts still linger
is this it? all that i have to give?
is this the life i choose to live?
everything here is a choice
i just have to find my voice
and scream
if you have a dream
you should go for it
whether you miss or hit
and there is so much more to me
than you can imagine, than you can see
but i have to believe it first

untitled (poem by me)

lift me up because i can't fly
& i'm only pretty when i cry
when all my dreams turn to dust
i know that there's nothing to trust
you can never really outrun the pain
all these tears are gonna leave a stain
when i feel so lost in the crowd
how this silence sounds so loud
i wonder if i'll fall apart
missing pieces of my heart
have left me feeling dead inside
what's it worth, the tears i've cried
feels like i'm falling, gonna crash
there's no light in the smoke & ash
darkness calling, like a sad song
i wasn't meant to be this strong

she knows what this will bring
she can already feel the sting
of the slap that's sure to come
but she's just too tired to run
last night's beating should've been the last
one wrong word and it was happening so fast
hands around her throat, hard to breathe
because she said it was time for her to leave
and he thinks of her as a possession
the object of his anger, his obsession
long sleeved shirts and sunglasses only go so far
to hide all the bruises and all the scars
lying to everyone, each time a new excuse
but she's running out of reasons for this abuse
and she finds the dark, there's comfort there
and she's just too weak to care
that this may be the end of her life
her only crime was being his wife

when you see the world in black and white
you can't see the difference between wrong or right
clouded eyes seen so much deception
but really it's all about perception
and how the world will spin & turn
will you drown or will you burn?
in your sorrows or fueled by fire
life is half battles, half desire
will you choose to stand and fight
behind every darkness there's a light
if it's worth it in the end
you won't break, maybe bend
this world has tears that are not yours to cry
so will you crumble or will you fly?
is your cup half full or becoming empty
seek the beauty because there's plenty
if you can see it in your mind
there's always truth that you will find
and you can hold it in your hand
if you take the time to understand
that you hold the key to everything

she dances across a moonlit path
and he stops just to hear her laugh
hands reaching out, drawing him near
there's no confusion, no fear
the way the wind whispers so soft and sweet
he feels the rhythm all the way down to his feet
he gazes in to eyes a hundred shades of blue
and they dance, just like they used to do
and it's magic, having her near
singing softly in his ear
but morning comes too soon
when she fades away like the moon
this is the girl he'll always miss
tears fall silently with this final kiss

sometimes this world makes me sad
the hate, the hurt, treating each other bad
sometimes it makes me wanna give up
where's the faith, where's the love?
it seems like everything is always a fight
where's the line between what's wrong or right?
the way we treat our young, our old
why do people need to be so cold?
i shake my head in desperation
sometimes it's hard to find inspiration
when there's so much ugly around
i wanna dance but i can't hear a sound
i wanna write but words won't come
losing track of where i came from
this isn't who i wanted to be
the vision i always had of me
has been corrupted, turned upside down
it's worldwide, it can't be just this town
i see it on every corner, every turn
the way we're letting the world burn
poverty, neglect, loneliness, greed
why doesn't everyone have what they need?
i feel my insides filling up like a storm
and it's now that the tears form
for this world i cannot save
time treats me like a slave
i find hope in these moments, buried deep
when i'm on the verge of sleep
memories of a kiss between mother and child
passing by a field of flowers growing wild
an old couple on a park bench, married forever
a group of children laughing, playing together
man on a bus that gives a pregnant woman his seat
the smell of grandma's house, always something sweet
the feel of snowflakes on mountaintops or rivers rushing by
and now i sit here and wonder how i ever wanted to cry
because the world is full of so many things
car alarms going off or how the bird sings
whether is someone giving birth or accepting death
it's in every move you make, in every single breath
it's all about perspective
the world is
whatever you say it is

i know that when the time comes
i'll greet you like the morning sun
i'll be waiting in a white room
behind a garden, always in bloom
we'll dance and the tears won't flow
in this land where everything can grow
where there's no pain, no fear
music only you and i can hear
and we won't need to try and find
the life we thought we left behind
because here there's no time
the water tastes sweet like wine
the grass so soft beneath our feet
gold & silver pave every street
there will always be love and laughter
waiting for us in the sweet here after

you said you need me like water, like air
as you braided flowers in my hair
and whispered sweet words in my ear
the truth is now, it's all right here
you made me feel alive, free
like there was some good in me
you kissed my flaws, all my scars
and said in my eyes you saw the stars
and life before was just a blur
and you didn't know just who you were
but it was me, your saving grace
you knew it the moment you saw my face
the pain i'd hidden down so deep
unable to cry, it was hard to sleep
but you loved me, gave me a song
watched me breaking all night long
but it was in the morning light
that i found my will to fight
never give up, no matter the trial
learn to let go & how to smile

you say you need a drink
i say moderation
while you sit there and think
where's the consideration
and when did life become so sour
lemon-taste on your lips
we just sit and pass the hour
life slipping through fingertips
you say you can quit anytime
i just shake my head
whether it's the whiskey or the wine
i'm afraid you'll end up dead
it's addiction, fueled by pain
you say it's the bitterness
things wired up wrong in your brain
there's so much here you're gonna miss
if you don't stop and look around
it's not the bottom of the bottle you seek
where all answers can be found
i plant a kiss upon your cheek
and promise to say a prayer
you say i'm being selfish
but i say it's because i care

they make a promise, seal it with a kiss
and know it'll be hard raising a child like this
the doctor comes in explaining options, a choice
and that's when the mother to be finds her voice
and lets him know that the only thing set in stone
is that her child will be wanted and have a home
parents who love her, through and through
who will find miracles in anything she can do
they have big dreams for her, some she won't understand
but they will always be there to guide her, take her hand
the doctor says she will have difficulties, struggles abound
but the parents are firm and stand their ground
a baby is born during a strange summer moon
and her mother decides to call her June
and she grows, somewhat slower than the rest
but her mama knows that she will always love her best
their miracle baby, the one they thought they'd never know
she feels her heart swell each day as she gets to watch her grow
some things are harder, June needs more time
but her parents are patient, never seem to mind
each milestone she reaches they applaud
and give thanks to an ever loving God
for this child who loves so free
beauty and joy is all she can see
sometimes she struggles with thoughts, with a word
but then she laughs and it's the sweetest thing heard
and they know that no matter how hard things get
that their decision is one they'll never regret
there was never any question, right or wrong
because this child was wanted for so long
the answer to their dreams, their prayers
so what if she's different, who really cares
because she is love, she is like a summer moon
this sweet little girl that they call June

you didn't think you'd make it another day
drifting through a world gone gray
where music had no sound
you couldn't find solid ground
tears wouldn't come, you couldn't cry
the river that overwhelmed you running dry
and "happiness" was just a memory
behind a mirror you couldn't see
and the pain, feeling it run so deep
the nights too long and you couldn't sleep
you needed something, anything to bring you back
the falling always hurts, feeling yourself crack
and you're in a land that no one knows
where everything is dead, nothing grows
and it feels like you're under water, so cold
did you think this was what the future would hold
but you can see it now, a light starts to shine
and you know that now is the only time
the past is gone, the future unclear
you can't keep hiding from fear
or you're not living at all
i know how it hurts to fall
but listen closely... the distant beat
you can feel it in your feet
and the dance is coming, coming soon
the world full of color & a winter moon
what will you do? will you let yourself sink
are you going to stop and think
because i'd much rather be dancing

inches of ice, feet of snow
she begged him not to go
"stay here, keep me warm
don't try to brave this winter storm"
but his mind was set, the journey long
he promised to bring her back a song
when he travels like this to places unknown
she always waits patiently for him to come home
each time is different, yet the same
and he comes back singing her name
guitar in hand and treasures in pack
he always finds his way back
she knows he defies time and space
and everywhere she goes she sees his face
he shouldn't be here, shouldn't exist
she knew that the moment they kissed
that he was something greater, unknown
but it was as close as she'd felt to home
these journeys weren't his choice at first
he often wondered if he was blessed or cursed
but he came to embrace this life
found a woman to call his wife
she was his only one
shining like the sun
and her face reminded him of summer flowers
it was her voice that got him through the lonely hours
between journeys from here to there
getting by on hope & prayer
because this was the life he was destined to live
to go back and undo the wrongs, finding gifts to give
changing things that made the world seem wrong
but he always came back smiling, singing a song
of other times, other places
distant lands, strange faces
sometimes it hurt to fix a world that unravels
so they love so passionately in between his travels
and she knows that he will always find her
and always come home

they think it's all fun and games
they laugh at her, call her names
spit on her and pull her hair
she just wants somebody to care
she cannot understand why
they push her down and make her cry
is it because she's different, and they're all the same?
she lets the tears fall and hides her head in shame
they see cuts on her arms, call her a freak
and she's too scared to speak
to stand up for herself, she'd be standing alone
she wants to disappear, to just be gone
the house is quiet but the pain is loud
she'll never be part of the popular crowd
and they will torment her day after day
it's time for her to just go away
so she leaves a note on her bedroom door
saying she's sorry she can't do this anymore
she's been thinking for a while, had this carefully planned
a glass of water, empty pill bottles crowding up her nightstand
no one knew that this pain ran so deep
when her only wish was to just go to sleep
ambulance & police lights flashing outside
secrets uncovered, things she tried to hide
were brought to light
as paramedics willed her to fight
they brought her back, felt her beating heart
and she knew this was when the healing would start
because she could never be that girl again

when he was younger, people called him a fool
and he never made it to high school
his daddy was a hard workin' man
he taught his son how to work the land
from sunrise to sunset
crops rise from blood & sweat
the only thing he could really know
was how to make things grow
until he met a woman that stole his heart
she was the bright light in the dark
she sang pretty songs that he didn't understand
she'd cook and clean while he worked the land
he wanted to learn, she planted the seed
she brought home books, taught him to read
they were happy, but not yet complete
the house was missing the sound of little feet
and storybooks and lullabies
they longed to hear a baby's cries
soon she grew heavy, baby inside
one that would be her father's pride
she grew up in a house full of love
told she could be whatever she dreamed of
we sit here now, graduation day
and i listen to the words she has to say
"my Daddy was a farmer, he loved the way things grew
and he cared for the animals, always knew what to do
he always did everything to make sure his family would survive
my Mama was a dreamer, she kept our hope alive
and gave me wings, taught me to fly
to always give thanks, never question why
and i wouldn't be here right now
if they hadn't always knew somehow
that i was destined to do something more
this is love, it's what family's for"

the world fell away - poem by me

his head was pounding, feeling sick
fog like a blanket, heavy & thick
he saw a girl standing in the curve
& he tried his best to swerve
tires squealing, rubber burning
all at once the world stopped turning
she was running, she came out too fast
and it was his face that she'd see last
drunken, disoriented, completely unaware
he stumbled, slipping in the blood everywhere
and she reached for his hand, in the dark
it was so loud... the breaking of his heart
he watched her die, watched her go
he realized this was a girl he used to know
they'd hold hands down by the swings
and she would talk of such pretty things
while he drank liquor straight
and she'd always beg him to wait
sober up, before he had to drive
if he would've listened she'd be alive
but that was years ago, time slipped away
he'd never forget the way she looked that day
when she said it was over, they were through
because with him her world was too many shades of blue
and the quiet was overwhelming, the alcohol too strong
it all felt like a burden, everything seemed wrong
there were tears in her eyes
as she listened to his lies
that it wouldn't be like before
she told him she couldn't do it anymore
and they parted ways, like lovers sometimes do
each day his addiction just grew and grew
there were more drunken moments than any other
he'd leave one bar just to hit up another
she was looking for him that night, heard how far he'd gone
and all she wanted was for him to be safe, to bring him home
and there was so much that she wanted to say
but she was blinded by the lights, the world fell away

i will hold you when you are weak
even if i can't find the words to speak
and brush the tears that you may cry
but i'm not ready yet, to say goodbye
you may get sicker, you may lose your hair
but i can promise you i'll be right there
to hold your hand and hug you tight
in the darkness i will be your light
i will love you harder with each day
on my knees each night i'll pray
for more time, because i haven't had enough
you're the one i need, it's you i'll always love
i'll be right by your side through thin and thick
richer or poorer, if you're healthy or sick
because that's what love is, what it means
this lifetime we've shared, each others dreams
and i promise i won't give up on you
and somehow i know we'll make it through
it's so hard not to question why
i'm not ready yet... to say goodbye

i wonder now what dreams she seeks
i remember baby pink sheets & rosy cheeks
i remember soft cries
looking in her big blue eyes
and my heart had never known that ache
would i ever think this was a mistake
but i was so far from home
15 years old and all alone
no where to go, no way to provide
to the child i had carried inside
i loved her, like i've never loved before
but i wanted her to have so much more
than i could ever give, than i would ever know
how i wish i could've watched her grow
every night i'd lie and weep
wishing i could rock her to sleep
and hold her close, hold her tight
singing lullabies to her through the night
i had to think of her, not just me
give her a future, an opportunity
one day something changed it all
as i sat there waiting for her to call
because she had found me after all these years
i've never felt so much, cried so many tears
when i finally heard my daughters voice
i knew that i made the right choice
because she said "thank you mom"

heartache, i've felt plenty
when dreams leave me empty
there's nothing left to cry
when all my tears run dry
and i can picture it in my head
going over the words you said
and i'm stepping into a tub, water so clear
it's your hate, your bitter voice i hear
that brings me closer to the knife
this isn't living, this isn't life
when it overwhelms, just waking up
knowing i've never been worthy of love
i feel the old familiar sting
know i can't change anything
everything has twists and turns
but i like the way my skin burns
when i feel the cold metal against my skin
and silently hope i won't wake up again
too much time alone to think
watching the water turning pink
because i couldn't cut deep enough

you tell me i'm a *****
that i nag and whine
that i'm stupid
and useless
and you make me feel
so empty
so ugly
so crazy
when i tell you it hurts
so bad
too bad to keep going
you offer me a rusty razor
and tell me to just do it
because you're tired of hearing
my voice

i don't know how much more i can take
before i finally crumble and break
tired of feeling worthless, i dont matter
i can feel each crack, my heart's gonna shatter
because this wasn't the life i planned
sitting here just trying to understand
when i became so useless, wanna give up
tired of drinking from a broken cup
and thinking things are gonna get better somehow
but it didn't then and it's not happening now
i'm tired of feeling unpretty, unwanted
looking in the mirror, eyes so haunted
by the person i used to be
and i just wish i could see
how i ever thought i deserved anything
because i guess i really don't

they wanted numbers, they wanted names
she stood there watching it go up in flames
they said it was a breakdown, descent in to madness
but no one ever grasped the depth of her sadness
and how quick a candle could start a fire
carefully placed near a faulty wire
she stands there, both eyes black
the straw that broke the camels back
when he threw her down the stairs last night
ten years she's spent trying to avoid the fight
the hands that hold her down
that push and pull and slap her around
too far gone, she felt she had no use
it was all her fault, every incident of abuse
something she did, to provoke him that way
on her knees every night trying to pray
that this would stop, it would end
no family, not a single friend
just the loneliness that tears her apart
too long living with a broken heart
when love should never be like this
hard hands, empty words, sealed with a kiss
and a promise it'll never happen again
well this time it won't.

i remember catching fire flies in jars
and playing policeman in the cars
catching grasshoppers even though i was scared
all those special moments we've shared
you bring me such pride, such joy
you will always be my favorite boy
you make me want to be better than i am
and someday you're gonna be an outstanding man
because you're already so wonderful, so great
and it's all been worth the wait
we find hope in raising sons
nerf wars and shooting b.b. guns
funny movies and video games
star wars, you know all the names
and teach me things i'd never know
the greatest gift has been watching you grow
action figures and playing army men
sometimes i wish i had this time again
but you grow up too fast, too soon
you used to think i hung the moon
and now it's me, realizing it's you
roping the stars & hanging the moon

she's driving me crazy, this kid
doing things i never did
big blue eyes and messy curls
oh the joys of little girls
one minute she's the boss, so demanding
then she finds patience, soft and understanding
she sing songs to the birds
making up her own words
tea parties with mr. bear
sticking candy in dolls hair
bed time stories after glitter baths
but i melt every time she laughs
she holds my hand, doesn't want to let go
and tells me stories that have no end
tells me i'm her absolute best friend
there's so much i want her to know
that there's nothing that she can't do
i wish for all her dreams to come true
and i know i'd give her the world
this sweetness, this light, my little girl

sometimes you'll find yourself walking a rocky road
wondering how you're ever gonna carry this load
when you're feeling lost and alone
remember all paths will lead to home
where the heart is, even if it's broken
your memories, thoughts unspoken
the things that led you to where you are
saying a prayer and wishing on every star
because this wasn't the life you dreamed of
feeling confused, empty, longing for love
sometimes it feels like it's too much to take
but you won't crumble, you won't break
because you are meant to be here, in the now
and the dark times pass, we can't question how
just know that it's a moment and then it's gone
and you wont always feel this alone
no matter how bad things seem
life is the waking dream
and good things are meant to be
when you're not holding on to a memory

i fixed your coffee... strong and black
and tried to pretend you were coming back
i made your eggs and buttered your bread
and tried to remember the last thing you said
before it all changed and you couldn't speak
before the sickness, when you weren't so weak
the way it happened, all so fast
the days roll by, into the past
and some days it's a struggle just to get up, go on
and i don't know how i can ever be this strong
but we take it day by day
i wish it didn't have to be this way
it makes me angry because it isn't fair
to know that you're lost in there
and i can't reach you, even though i try
when the lights are out, i sit and cry
and try to get back to that place
where i could see your smiling face
and hands that held me through thick and thin
and it hurts so much that i may never know it again
but i will be here, we stay together
i loved you then, i'll love you forever
there are times when it's hard to be so alone
but i keep holding out, hoping you'll come home

i was lost but now i'm found
there was darkness all around
waiting for that endless light
to guide me through the darkest night
feet weary, tired and covered in blisters
from walking, walking to find the sisters
then Hope came and took my hand
and tried to make me understand
that life is about the struggle and the fight
learning the difference between wrong and right
and Faith stepped in and tried to explain
that there is no joy without the pain
that there's no beauty in a tomorrow
if you've never danced with sorrow
and Love was here, she was last
told me that I had to let go of the past
that some things are never meant to be
only when we're open can we see
that life is full of promises and change
sometimes we feel out of place...strange
but we keep pushing through and moving on
learn to rise above, how to be strong
because we were given it from our moment of birth
our freedom, our chance to bless this earth
by the words we speak and the things we share
if we can only find a way to always care
about one another
sisters and brothers
we are all children of something
so much greater

i saw them sitting beneath an old tree
and they were waiting there for me
with arms stretched open wide
showing me a place inside
how it was burning against the night
a blinding, brilliant golden light
when they spoke it sounded like a song
and i knew that i didn't really belong
because i was tired, too weak
couldn't find the words to speak
they knew i wasn't ready to return
i still had so much to learn
this life was too short to give up
when i hadn't seen or heard enough
whispers in my ear drift down to my heart
the world around me was falling apart
so gently they guided me home
i knew then i had to carry on
and i felt like i was ripped away
from a place i couldn't stay
so i've made it my life long duty
to always find hope, truth and beauty
and to know there's always more
something to have faith in, fight for
to be the best i possibly can
and someday they will take my hand
i came so close, so near to death
all my dreams were in a breath
i came back fighting, gasping for air
with stars in my pockets, leaves in my hair
beneath an old and ancient tree
a second chance was waiting for me

he waits by the window, everyday
for the little girl to come home and play
she's his favorite, he likes the smell of her
the way she runs her fingers through fur
and talks to him, even if he doesn't understand
she's never rough when giving a command
it's more like a question, a please do this
she tops it with a pat and he gives her a kiss
she lets him sleep in her big warm bed
gives him baths and makes sure he's fed
she listens, even though he doesn't talk
plays ball with him, takes him for a walk
somethings different, it doesn't make sense
no big yellow school bus pulling up at the fence
no little girl with pigtails and a happy smile
maybe he should just wait a little while
same thing happens day after day
why doesn't the little girl come home to play?
and the humans cry, the house is always too dark
and he knows now what its like to have a broken heart
he stops eating, though they all try
he just waits by the window as the days pass by
he doesn't understand how she can be gone
leaving him so desperate, feeling alone
because she was his, his one true friend
and he feels the changes in the wind
and how the world seems empty without her laugh
the roads look scary without her dancing down the path
and every sound makes him bark
when he can't find her hand in the dark
she was right, innocent and she was good
and now tennis ***** don't bounce like they should

she was perfect in the beginning
before the botox and hair extensions
the adding to and taking from
her body endured
the smile that she faked
with teeth that weren't hers
but they were perfect
just like you expected her to be
and i watched her fade away
no longer the person she used to be
but she had to be perfect
for you
because you couldn't stomach
the thought of being with someone
who wasn't, could never be
a model of the things you desired
in the flesh, yours to hold
but her heart was no longer
the one you used to know
the one you fell in love with
because this one was empty
just like you wanted her to be
because if she had to be perfect
she could never be herself

somehow the pieces never really fit
you said you were done, over it
and we drank together, that last night
you said you were just too tired to fight
but you laughed after a sad smile
i tried to get you to hang around for a while
but i should've tried harder, done better
you told me not to worry in the letter
i didn't know the sadness was that deep
that you were heading off to an eternal sleep
your words start running together at the end
when you told me i was your only friend
and that hurt so much, knowing i didn't save you
never really saw just how much you were going through
when you were laughing the loudest and the longest
between the two of us, i thought you the strongest
because it was always you pulling me back
when the world would grow so cold and black
it was your voice, singing a simple word
it was the purest, sweetest thing i heard
i'm sorry that i was so weak
that i couldn't stop to speak
and bring you out of the dark
your memories leave holes in my heart
if i could have those moments again
i'd try harder to save my sweetest friend