Ashley Brooke Payne

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

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i see colors that i have never seen
and it's like falling from a dream
when i can't help but feel
that all of this is real
no longer lost and empty
hope is here, i have plenty
i am flying, being lifted up
full of faith, knowing love
and it's these moments i truly live
i want to dance and laugh and give
the seeds of kindness i want to plant and grow
it's the love for each other that i pray we all know
i wish we could have more faith in each other
and feel comfort among each sister and brother
but until then i won't give up on me
and the world won't tell me who to be
and how to act and how to speak
i know strength because i was weak
each moment is a gift, the joy and the sorrow
appreciate it, we're never promised a tomorrow

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

i love you best

i made you flowers, the prettiest you've seen
red and yellow, blue, purple and green
made from paper and glue
because they reminded me of you
mama put my teddy bear next to your arm
because he will keep you safe and warm
i wanted to send my night light, in case you were scared
mama said that it was the thought, that she knew i cared
but grandma would find a light brighter than what i had
and i couldn't help the tears that came because i felt so sad
i thought you'd always be there
this isn't right and it isn't fair
oh grandma, why did you have to go?
you won't get to see me grow
but i will carry you in my heart
whisper my secrets in the dark
because i know you'll be watching over me
and when i'm sitting beneath this old tree
beside your grave, i don't cry
it's not my place to question why
but this isn't where you rest
and just remember i love you best

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

For a Friend

when it's quiet and there's nobody there
she finds herself saying a prayer
that God will make her strong
and the nights won't be so long
because she deserves that happy ending
sometimes it's so hard just pretending
that she's not a little hurt inside
and the things she has to hide
she knows she's always tried her best
and she realizes that she is blessed
with wonderful kids that love her so
and it makes her smile to watch them grow
and i want to tell her, it won't always be this way
that time will heal all and there will come a day
when she finds that place that she wants to be
and these hard times will be a distant memory
because she is so much stronger than she thinks

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

To Dream

to dream is like a dance
and we all have a chance
to go out & make our mark
be the light in the dark
the hope behind the pain
the sun chasing the rain
we are everything, we are one
the peace when the day is done
if we give ourselves up to each other
our family, our friends, our lovers
but we have to reach down deep
to the place where the mind sleeps
and realize we're more than we think
that we are evolving, always on the brink
of something bigger, something bright
stars burning across the night
it's within us all
to rise or fall
to hope, to love, to give
we can die or we can live
to dream is like a dance
and we all have a chance

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

Letter to God/Milkbones in Heaven

he knows how to fetch a ball
and always comes when you call
he likes frisbee and dad's old shoe
gets a little nervous around anyone new
he likes to give kisses but he has bad breath
i wanted to send treats but there aren't any left
he was the first best friend i ever had
and i'm trying so hard not to be sad
mom told me angels would take him home
but we were his family, where he belongs
he's not just any old dog, he's smarter than that
the only trouble we had was him chasing the cat
but he would lay with me night after night
and having him near me, the world felt right
the way he'd jump up on me and try to dance
if he thought there was danger, he'd tug at my pants
and he'd listen to me, when no one else would
i'm not so sure if he ever really understood
but he'd lick my face to show that he cared
so i'm holding on to the good times we shared
i know you'll take care of him until we meet again
remember that he's special, he'll be a good friend
a scratch behind the ear will make him feel better
and i sure hope that you get my letter
and i hope that there are milkbones in heaven

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

you can pretend

stringing your words together
just to make you feel better
and no one else will ever be right
unless they bask in your light
because you think you're above them all
but remember, even angels can fall
so sit on your pedestal and you can pretend
you can smile that smile until the end
when you're left lonely and sad
i hope you remember the life you had
the one you threw away
all the words you didn't say
will eat you up inside
and i won't be along for the ride

Ashley Brooke Payne Oct 2012

dusty old bar

this dusty old bar

in a smokey bar, drink after drink
it's gave him a lot of time to think
"play a sad song old man
then maybe i will understand
how this world has gone to hell
maybe someday, time will tell
how i ever wound up here
it's already been a year
since she left me, took all that i had
tell me man, how does love go bad?"
the bartender speaks and it's barely a whisper
"it's not my place to say this but i'll tell you mister
the lady you love didn't go by choice
it was you and the drink that took her voice
going too fast down a dark highway
not listening to anything she had to say
you never even seen the other car
too much time in this old dusty bar"
and the man sits, head in his hands
trying to make sense, trying to understand
he can't remember, it's all a blur
just bits and pieces, memories of her
no sleep since, up all night crying
too much blood, as she lay there dying
but this can't be
it's a false memory
silence is the loudest sound
so he orders another round
and the bartender shakes his head sadly