this is not a fairy tale

somewhere in a lonely castle tower
she's weeping past the midnight hour
long golden locks hang down the wall
and she's waiting for her prince to call
and take her from this place
how she longs to see his face
and they will ride off together
& live happily always and forever
she's been a prisoner far too long
he found her by following a song
that only his heart could hear
it was like she whispered in his ear
"save me, if you think I should be free"
never had he been so enchanted by beauty
she needed a hero, it had to be this man
it was then these two formed their plan
and he promised he'd be there
he'd climb the rope made from hair
of his beloved and they would run away
tomorrow would be a brand new day
a brand new life
she would be his wife
he's lying in ice and snow
and she has no way to know
that her prince has fallen from his horse

she was a fat kid
with bad skin
and glasses
and frizzy hair
always cracking a joke
or burying her nose in a book
to escape
and forget
because this didn't feel
like who she should be
but she didn't know how to change it
so she hid inside herself
refused to let many people know
who she really was
because it didn't matter anyway
it was all about fitting in
and she never really did
i wish i could go back
and hug her
tell her i love her
and not to worry
because this won't matter
in 5 years or in 10
these painful moments
of rejection
of depression
won't last forever
and she will come out
stronger than ever
she shouldn't be so ******* herself
and i still see her sometimes
when i look in the mirror
and it makes me sad
to know how much i let these things
affect me and who i became
always questioning, if i'm good enough
but i think it's gonna make me better
because i've been there before

a new chapter

it's in the softness of October skies
that i see my future in your eyes
happiness here, it's everywhere
run your fingers through my hair
and i feel light
soft as the night
and stars burn brighter
when you hold me tighter
this is what i've been waiting for
all i ever wanted and more
you keep me on solid ground
and make the world spin 'round
and you give yourself to me
show me truth, hope and beauty
together, we are starting this new chapter
our life together, building our happily ever after

tired, too tired to sleep
where emotions run deep
and the night becomes too long
singing off-key, my broken song
and i can't find the way
so i wish, i hope, i pray
that something will deliver me
this isn't who i want to be
i should've already been better than this
instead of everything so hit & miss
and falling all apart
scars on my heart
i've tried it time and again
never really fitting in
but i take it, with a grain of salt
maybe it isn't entirely my fault
perhaps i've always felt more than i should

nineteen candles on her birthday cake
and she hides the scars, all her mistakes
and the way the knife felt, hidden in hand
she knew that no one would understand
so she carried her secret, heavy and thick
and she knew what it was like to feel sick
the sadness brought her to her knees
black and cold, lost in this disease
her mind hurts, her heart feels dead
she feels so lost inside her head
and there's relief, sweet and fast
if only she could make it last
but with each cut she goes deep
all she wants to do is sleep
and forget she was never enough

blackness, it's all that I see
when you're taking this from me
uninvited, unwanted, trying to say no
it's the beginning and you won't let me go
held down, broken, the pain of being used
never thought it'd be me being abused
this isn't me, it's not my choice
but I can't speak, I have no voice
I'm shocked, lying here bleeding
no sounds, just my heart beating
and you're gone, never looking back
my world crumbles, turns to black
this is me, *****, full of shame
you didn't know me, not even my name
but you thought you had that right?
to make me cry, scream & fight
now there's danger lurking in every place
I find myself always on guard, looking for your face
I hope someday I have my turn
To watch you suffer, watch you burn