Come, he who seeks my disquiet,
Does it please you to see my total fury?
Must you enrage my soul, enflame my emotions?
You’ve awoken the volcano in me, and it writhes in waves of anger,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my grief,
Does it give you satisfaction to see my despair?
Must you depress my heart, dampen my sentiments?
You’ve awoken the ocean in me, and it flows in waves of sadness,
So be it.

Come, he who seeks my insanity,
Does it comfort you to see my struggle?
Must you sever my mind, obliterate my senses?
You’ve awoken the cave in me, and it echoes in waves of madness.
So be it.

He asked me if I looked at him differently
If our being together had transformed my image of him
I couldn't respond
Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know the answer
Had hazy nights fogged memories prior to "us"
Even if those nights fogged memories of us, I wouldn't want to remember
He asked me if I looked at him differently
Before he was another head in the hallway
Another peek in the door creak
Another this or that
It isn't about him being different
It's me
Noticing all of the imperfections and perfections that he always had
As I hear the wind rush, I feel pathetic for thinking of him rather than myself
There are periods of darkness when it's me alone with my thoughts
But my thoughts
Are consistent of him
I don't look at him differently, I see him differently
I see the black holes in his pupils, kaleidoscopic thoughts and sentences and ideas
I see greatness in his walk, as if it's down a busy street
I see his face, soft, the kind of soft that makes you want to crawl into yourself forever
I see the pain in his eyes
Before it was mere darkness and yes, I look at him differently
Because the darkness has meaning
It means that words perceived as malicious were merely words reflective of
"I don't care"s and "You'l never understand"s
And I don't
He asked me if I look at him differently
How could I not?
Now I know what's beneath everything he wears
The smirk on his face, the raising of his eyebrows, his shirt...
I do look at him differently because he is no longer "someone"
He is HIM
He is my thoughts and my ideas and excuse the melodrama, but he is everything
And on days when I don't see him
There are no ideas
There are no thoughts
If I weren't to look at him differently
I wouldn't know what late night drives along the ocean would mean
I wouldn't know what feeling wholesome felt like
I wouldn't know what I want
He asked me if I looked at him differently
And today he asked again
Except today it was teasing and condescending
I'll always look at him differently

You deserve better
Don't do it, you'll regret it
He's not good for you
He tears you apart
Every time he hurts you you're a wreck

TURN

I think he really likes you
I see him staring at you while you read in class
You're the only one for him, and he's the only one for you
You're both ****** up, but you're two halves of a whole
The two of you have a future

TURN

He doesn't actually "love" you
He's using you
He gets what he wants and then he leaves
You're too good for him
He isn't the "right" person

TURN

It's been a year
We all know that something more is going to happen between the two of you
Do you consider yourselves to be an object?
Would you ever "be" with him
I think you should do it

TURN

What if I'm not ready?
What if the negative people are right and the positives are wrong?
What if I do something stupid and never recover?
Is he another illness?
Is he my savior?
Will I ever know?
If I am ready, what do I do?
Will someone please help me?

RESPONSE

We've helped you
It's all up to the two of you

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I still don't know what keeps me going
I still don't know what's holding me back
I'm all alone
But there's a distinct possibility that I don't have to be alone