Happy endings are obsolete.
All of these fairytales are lying.
Their half-assed stories are giving us false hope.
What's there to smile about?
We live in a world where  money overpowers love.
Where a kid will get killed
for the dirt bike she rode on.
We've forgotten where we've come from.
But everyone's rushing,
and trying to move forward.
We look to the future
instead of thinking about our pasts.
While they don't define us,
they created us.
But we hide them and conceal them;
skeletons are meant to stay dead.
But they're there, dancing and smiling.
Waiting until you slip up.
They'll come falling out of
your picture-perfect life.
And who will be there to
push them back in?
The monsters are under your bed
and in your head.
They creep in your closet
and inside of your heart.
But you'll close your eyes
to block out the demons.
One world full of
close-minded, blind individuals.
They'll turn their heads to the violence.
We're desensitized.
A media-fueled aggressive culture.
Nothing can change,
one will always hate.
Happily ever after is full of ****
in this ****** up story we live in.

The first time we sat together,
just you and I,
I rolled up my sleeves to show you
the secrets I kept hidden there.
My nerves were going crazy,
and I felt sick to my stomach.
You looked and you scanned
the rows of scars across my arms.
I never spoke of them directly,
but I told you I was lost once,
lost to myself and everyone around.
I told you there were things I did
just to survive myself.
You never spoke,
and I grabbed your hand,
bringing it over the ridged flesh.
Even with all of these deformities,
in your eyes I'm still beautiful.

It has been four years,
and I'm still an antidepressant away
from completely losing my mind.
The roses on your grave
have all deteriorated and died.
My heart has a hole
where you're meant to be.
And maybe that place
has been dead for awhile.
I can't even cry,
because there are no tears left.
You stole them away
when you took your last breath.
I screamed, did you know?
It was a new kind of pain,
not one I was used to.
I was led down some path.
It was dark and all twisted.
I couldn't get out; I was eaten alive.
These scars remind me
that this is not my imagination.
If I could rip out my heart,
I would give it to you.
Just to see what it would be like
to say goodbye.
Would you still love me
if you saw me these days?
Or would you turn your back
like everyone else?
It's been four long years,
but you're always on my mind.
It's like a knife in the gut,
twisting and turning.
Your face haunts my dreams,
but it's slowly fading.
Soon it will be forgotten;
a small glimmer in the breeze.
But a small voice will remind me
you are somewhere,
resting with ease.

If I could, I would make sure
you never took another breath.
If I could, I would break your bones,
the way you tortured mine.
And if I could, I'd count the minutes
while I watched you burn alive.
If I could, I'd laugh out loud
while you were sobbing on the ground.
I would take the time to have a beer
and have all my friends gather around.
I'd hope you would look up at me,
the way I raised my eyes to you.
If I could, I'd ignore your begging,
the way you ignored mine.
And if I could, I'd show you
what it was like to feel half-alive.
But, alas, these things I cannot do,
for I am different-not like you.
I have a heart and I have a soul,
bandaged and healing, but there.
If I could, I would walk away.
I am different-not like you.

I've been tired and so uninspired.
It's as if the world is moving,
but I'm stuck in place.
Everyone is moving forward
as I'm falling backward.
I can't find the light to look to.
My inspiration has run dry,
creativity a bleak blip on the radar.
I need a kick to start back up.

I feel so trapped and I can’t escape.
I really am stuck in this godforsaken place.
The walls are closing in,
pushing me down and holding me back.
I could scream for hours,
but no one would ever hear me.
The lid of this box is taped shut
and I’m suffocating in here.
The pain bites into my arm,
criss-crossed streets painted crimson red.
I can’t handle living in this hellhole anymore.

Is this what you wanted?
Did you want something more?
Even in this moment of weakness
I will never live up to your high expectations.
You are a fly that gets stuck in my head,
yelling out insults while my subconscious shudders.

I’m worthless and pathetic?
Are you talking to the mirror again?
Take a long hard look at the girl you destroyed.
While she’s standing there bleeding,
you still demand so much more.

“You deserve everything that’s happened,
you’re an ungrateful, useless *****.”
Just shout your obscenities one more time.
Where will you be without your emotional punching bag?
You are nothing without your words.
A big hulk of a man with darkness behind your eyes.

Just hit me one more time,
I relish in that instant pain.
This agony preferred over your emotional slurs.
You are nothing but a poor excuse for a father.

Can't you see what you have done?
Broken me down and beaten me to the bone.
“No” has become meaningless and pointless.
Your words echo around my brain
where shattered memories lay in waiting.
You've ripped my body completely in half.
Wake up, please wake up.
It’s just another dark day
living in the place commonly known as Hell.
The demons are real and they live inside of me.
I can't fight them off.
As my strength is fading,
I pray to God that he'll just show up.
Can you hear me?
It’ll all be over soon.
Can you hear my heart beating?
Slower,
             slower,
                         stopped.
Can you hear me?
Open your eyes and breathe.
You have taken everything from me.
Listening to them laughing, teasing and cat-calling.
He’s grinning again, insatiable and ludicrous.
It's not over,
will it ever be over?