Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?
Been surrounded by friends and lovers,
but yet an emptiness still sits in your chest?
Have you ever laughed, or smiled,
but felt the tears well up when you close your eyes?
Have you ever felt isolated,
while the whole room is held together?
Forgotten about and taken away
to a place where your heart knows some companionship?
Flicking out the ashes of your cigarette,
knowing each breath might be your last?
Have you ever listened to the sympathy,
but retained none of it?
Your mind remains blank and distorted.
The pain of past problems and demands
rises to the surface bringing new sorrows.
So you sit, writing out a new poem or story,
trying to figure out what's going wrong.
Where you went wrong.
Everything is always wrong.

Face first on the ground,
Everyone's staring and looking for more.
But what in the world could they possibly do?
So they stand and they watch
as the beauty erodes.

Let the poison flood your veins.
Let your memories all fade away.
You're all alone as you take your trip,
down the cold, dark lane that you call home.

They watched her come back,
eyes clouded and misty.
Forgotten faces and crumbled daydreams.
They could never get to know her.

Get a little higher sweetie,
the voices all would shout.
Yeah, get a little higher honey.
Let your demons come out to play.
Shoot the poison up, baby.
See what happens to you
Yeah, get a little higher,
We won't remember you when you're dead.

She let the poison flood her veins,
They sat and watched as she faded away.
She took her last trip down that lonely road.
Did she ever have something to gain?

They whispered their goodbyes,
as they stood above her grave.
They watched as the dirt filled her up.
There was nothing left to say.

There you lie,
body sprawled across the floor.
Tattered, scattered, ripped up pieces;
Addicted so helplessly.
Your veins flood with poison,
Your lungs fill with smoke.
Those promises break easy,
Don't they?
When you're left out alone?
Who's your friend, in that place
Of horrors and nightmares?
Nobody but the drugs you need,
And the other dead bodies
Whose skin's just like yours;
Pale white-paper thin.
No life left in those eyes;
Mind's blank since the the end
Of the life you once lived.

You're trying to build
on something that's breaking down.
There's cracks in the foundations
of what was once a magnificent palace.
Our love once the glue holding us together.
Now it's dried up, musty and *****,
leaving our feelings blowing in the wind.
What was once a beautiful feeling
now lay dead and cold on the ground.
Our bliss evaporated,
replaced by jealousy and hate.
Where did we go wrong?
When did it become normal to feel so
alone?
The tears and the screaming,
your eyes dull and lackluster.
You cracked through my walls
left a storm in my home,
then left, fixing the wall you broke.
But even things mended will never
return to the same glamor they once held.

Your words cut through the silence,
a thick blade tearing me to pieces.
Another fight has left me broken and shaken
why can't you see what you're doing to me?
I'm sick of all the tears;
your words lingering in my head.
Pretending can only get us so far-
this will never change.
Can you believe it?
You used to be my hero.
I sought solace in your arms,
your touch the comfort I always needed.
I was always "daddy's little angel.'
Now I'm daddy's little zero.
You wonder why we never speak,
and why I always cease to smile.
Your footsteps leave me anxious,
your vindictive words and spontaneous threats
have ripped my soul to shreds.
Maybe there is hope somewhere down the road,
a father's love no one can replace.
Until then, "we're okay"
but my sadness you shall never know.

Stabbed in the back,
but you feel no pain.
You're pushing
but they always push back.
They leave you speechless
with your mouth wide open.
You want to speak the truth
but it sits there; words unspoken.
You're running to where He is,
but you will never get there.
Aching for their words
but they always leave you guessing.
Wondering what's next,
what's coming around the corner.
It's one step forward
then three steps back.
They keep you fighting and on your toes.
A circular path in which you can never move forward.
But you will find your way.

You live at the bottom of a bottle,
your life supply not the air you breathe,
but the drugs you ingest.
The pills, the powders,
trapping you in a permanent haze.
You're stuck.
The alcohol your only friend.
When does it stop?
Is the pain too steep?
Agony seeps into your veins.
Malicious intent creeping through your daily turmoils.
Your future is bleak.
Inner pain ripping you to shreds.
You self medicate, but it'll never stop.
There is only one way out.
It was all too much.
Another life lost to the monsters in the closet.