It's like being in a glass box,
In the middle of the room.
Invisable,
Yet with all eyes on you.

On the inside,
Looking out,
Always wondering what life is about.

Wanting to get out,
Wanting to escape.
Screaming for help,
Your cries falling on deaf ears.

The loneliness suffocates,
Walls closing in.
What was once your prison,
Now is your coffin.

Middle of the room,
All eyes on you,
They pay attention only when you're dead.

Burn me at the roots,
Engulf me in flames,
Char my skin until I am no more.

Ball of fire,
Burning bright.
Bright as the sun,
Brimming with potential.
Amidst the deafening roar of flames,
The crackling of breaking down,
Whisper these soft words.

Beckon me,
Give me hope.
Instruct me.

Those soft verbal caresses,
The water to douse the flames.
Watch me erupt.

"Arise and be all that you dreamed."

There will be no blood tonight,
There will be no fear.
I'm eliminating all threats today.
You will find safety here.

Come child and I'll keep you safe and warm,
I'll wrap you in my arms,
I'll wipe away your tears.

Breathe,
Laugh,
Live.
You're free.

You're free from the pain,
You're free from the shame.
All of the disgrace has been cleansed from your name.

This is the promise I make to you,
This is what will come when you leave the world behind.

I'll wipe away your tears,
I promise.

We ran,
Breathing hard,
Not looking back.

Hand in hand,
Into the thicket.
They'll never find us,
We'll never surrender,
Together we can survive.

We had to leave,
We had no choice.
They tried to break us,
Make it to where we couldn't breathe,
I almost didn't recognize you,
And you didn't know me.

They couldn't break us,
We decided to breathe,
I recognized you,
You remembered me.
They can't tell us what we can't have.
So, we ran.

The clouds roll in,
The rain splatters on the ground,
And then comes the sound.

Like tinkling bells, sweet and silvery.
Like wind in the willows, soft but strong.
A small, soft sound,
Telling me that I belong.

They say it's a pretty day,
But all I see is grey.
They ooh and ahh over all the colors,
But each one looks the same as the other.
They notice every single change,
But to me it looks all the same.

Their optimistic, holistic views,
Giving way to a heart that doesn't know.
The pain of losing and grieving;
They'll never know...

They tell me they've seen it all,
But in reality, they break every time they fall.
I fall, but I only chip,
I can't afford to break apart,
I have to tighten my grip.

Tighten my grip on the ones I love,
Pulling them closer in,
Trying to find a reason to live.
Anchoring myself to this world.
Standing firm for them.
For if I fall apart, so do they....

Touch me.
I won't shatter,
I won't explode.

Run your fingers through my hair.
I'm not brittle,
I won't break.

Hold me close,
Ignore the tears,
Just hold me.

It's been so long,
Since I've been touched.
So long since I've been loved.
Touch me,
Hold me,
Run your fingers through my hair.

I won't shatter,
I'm not brittle,
Just hold me.

There's me,
There's them.
Same room,
Different planet.
To them, I don't exist.

Secluded I sit,
Quiet I stay.
I don't really belong in their group anyway.

Like a ghost,
I slip through their radar.
Unseen.
Like ships in the night,
Slipping through foreign waters
Scared and alone,
Just trying to make it through.

Their happy, smiling faces,
Their mundane, mind-numbing chatter.
Drugs. ***. Parties.
To me, none of that matters.
Same room,
Different planet.

Pure as honey,
White as snow,
Thus goes the ******'s glow.

Shaming eyes and pointing fingers,
Like Yellow Jacket's stingers.
Wound the flesh.
Leave the heart,
This is how the broken girl starts.

Tainted as sludge,
Charred as wood,
Though she did all she could.

Truthful words and denials weren't even worthwhile,
No words she chose were defense against the mouths that wouldn't close.

Pure as honey,
White as snow,
Thus went the ******'s glow.
Was not careful to hide her lust and now their true colors show.

Walls up!
Conceal!
Don't feel!
Never let anything show!

It's all the same,
Everyday the same game.
Hiding, blocking, failing, feeling.

I can't stop it,
I ca't control it

Feeling everything, yet nothing,
Seeing what they see,
Looking into their past.

They ridicule and scorn me,
They act like I have a choice!

I don't want this!
I don't need this!
I can't take this anymore!

Walls up!
Conceal!
Don't feel!
Don't let them know!
Never let anything show!

Standing one by one,
Knowing that we are not done.
The battle has not been won.

All lined up in a row,
Like tin soldiers in a can.
One by one, marching out-
Sudden death awaits.

One, two
One, two
One, two
Left, right
Left, right
Left, right

Silence the drums,
Hold your breath,
Still your hearts and wait.
There is no escape from this uncertain fate.

Some will live,
Some will die.
Some won't even try.

What do you do when it's time to say goodbye?
When the concrete keeps moving under your immobile feet?
When your heart stops beating in your chest.
Hanging there,
Bleeding.

You watch everything you love,
Leave you in the dust.
Powerless,
With a mouth as dry as sand,
And a body seeming to break down.

Lifes beautiful rose,
Shriveled before its first bloom.
All potential,
Lost..
Such is a life wasted...

Emotionally drained,
Seeking a purpose for this empty shell.
Identity stripped,
Every tie cut,
Who am I now?

Lost soul,
Adrift in a broken world.
Monotony is the enemy,
Restlessness is driving me mad.

Mind running in circles,
A hopeless insomniac, ,
Drowning in the sorrows of lost innocence,
Every mistake ever made,
Free-wheeling in my head.

Every thought mocking,
Prickling,
Like needles under the skin.
Never letting me forget,
The eternal question...
Who am I now?

Pretty words,
Filled with lies.
A web you're spinning,
But getting caught up every time.

I couldn't see before,
But now it's plain.
You've done this before and you'll do it again.
When will I learn?

Why can't I see?
So blind,
I'm crippled,
And you aim to torture me.

Struck down by your madness,
Confused by your words,
And angered by your actions that reveal your lies.
Why can't I see?
I really should leave...
Why can't I see?

"I'm worth it."
"I'm worth it."
"I am beautiful!"
I whisper these words over and over to myself in the mirror,
Trying desperately to make the feeling of self-worth appear.
Trying to convince myself that I am not a mistake.

All I see are flaws,
All I feel is the imperfections,
Prickling,
Like burrs nestled into my skin.
I hear their opinions,
Their condemning lies,
All of their opinions,
Based on color, ***** and size.

Shattering the mirror,
I realize,
Society can ******* about my size.
I am worth it.
I am beautiful.

I've jumped off the Junior Cliff,
And now broken, bruised and battered.

My defenses dropped,
My immunity lowered,
I've caught Senioritis.

My academic heartbeat has significantly slowed,
I've jumped off the cliff, but I'm not alone,
Signs are hung from trees,
They read
  "Here lies the class of 2016"

It's not as simple as you think,
I didn't just give up,
I did try hard enough,
But since you've been here,
Everything's changed.