Umbrella green rain upset  harmless stripped
And because of thunder children snapped their fingers like jazz enthusiasts

Milk obsessed rats rant and render their own insanity
Passing three winged' angels in the street flowing serenity

Friends are best left in the mind and in the heart
But do not stray too far from them

For loneliness is a cold touch without love or hate
We are lucky to be feeling anything at all

The dead lie still
The weak do too
The strong move
The courageous seek
The other side of

The hill

Music moves underneath the fog of the sun
Near the flower garden the tourists roam free
A minds eye is a terrible thing to waste
Getting to know yourself through sleep is revealing
When is the next time for tea?

Your gibberish speaks things to me
That nothing in this world has ever done
What is the color of genius?
What is the feeling of epiphany?
Where do the dead flowers grow?

Packaged up
Sent off
Read up
The critics scoff

Growing old near the swamp the shanty town sways
Old culture rusts blood brown and neon orange
The bills are on the fridge and being cashed yesterday
Another day passes as the clock strikes 13

A friend brushes past another in a party and they smile
They do not speak for there is history there
Marking calenders for future experiences in all planning aside
There is nothing like chaos to introduce you to yourself

As I walk down the sidewalk, pass the cleaners, I see fiction
Moving under the trees, breathing the sea, I see narration
Talking to the barista, laughing lines, I see dialogue
Shakespeare penned the highest and the lowest of us all
And I think Bukowski was right there with him too

Watch a marble roll down the street
Observe each crack and the path it takes
We are very much the same way
Define your cracks, your bumps, your potholes
And see where they have taken you
See what became of you after the hard times.

This year
Apricots will writhe in the trees
Like a worm on a fishing hook.

The sea is foaming at the mouth,

And we are children
All over again.

Heart in hand for I know no fortune
Away and here I call out loud to my dear
Naked now in the streets of the year
I am alone with a' nowhere to go
-
Listen now to the winds wild call
Grip yourself your bound to fall
Either the lights are out tonight
Or the darkness is truly in sight
-
To tell the tale that was never told
To chase away the coming old
To walk through fire and hellish ice
To smile but never act sincerely nice
-
Questions answered money spent
No love here can't pay my rent
Broken thumbs beginning to feel numb
No job awaits me no friends for fun
-
A crack of the whip the ordered plenty
Man away from his dog named Henry
Astute calculations horn dog vibrations
I'm away babe I'm at another station
-
We left each other for the wide unknown
Horns golden harps playing I may have blown
My only desire for fortified foundations
And love between two of God's own creations
-
Regret do not follow me or swallow me
I am man with worries and a man with pain
Take me in that hot caressing hold
Birds fly east west allow me to once feel bold
-
The naked gun fires bullet after bullet
As the sun rises as well as does fall
Moon lit vapor heat women here are quite a feat
Bars are open the demons sharpened
Allow this thought to enter your soft beating target

Ten years
From now
We'll be walking beneath
A sheet of
Tailored stars

All it takes here is a little bit of water
And a little bit of love

I can't tell her how I feel
I can't do all that is well

Sad echo rotates through the caves
And the moons sides
All that can be one can

Collide

See me
There - where?
On the other
Side.

I'm a tall tale
Telling you the truth
Is no truth.

That all that was
Was but a myth of the
Mouth;

A myth of the word.

But who says
The myth
Is
Not one to

Follow?

One to believe in?

It's an alright sin.
When you believe in her.
It's man's fault.
Let it be.
Forsake the sacrifice of your own minds

Thoughts.

I'm a taken lady.
Nothing makes her amazed.
At last we are awoken;
At last we are seeing the broken stars
Of yesteryear;
At last,

We are the children

Men

Dream about.

In turn take the burn
On the other side of what
She promised silently

I'm a naked ruin
Without a whisper -
Without a name
That was ever mentioned

Could I be
Without reflection?
Could I be without a
Name
You'd
Recognize?
Could I be
Someone
You've never
Seen?

All talent derives
From experience and
Chance.

Let dreams
Be the basis
That they
Are.

I'm awakening
To a deafening
Cry.

As soon as the bible
Nodded her head to me
And promised, "Everything
Was going to be ok."
I told myself

Never

To listen again'.

A dank river slithers through the forefront of my mind
A soft silence wrinkles through the curls of forgotten time
Let her be a memory of what you thought love was supposed to be
Let her be a stitch in a heart that used to be we

I'm a shy pale front
Of forgotten noise and bile
Tom has seen every noise
Heard every mile

Rhapsody blues
Crimson Sue
Let me take you
Near the tombs
Where only the river
Bends
For you.

There that rapid souls
Scream and careen,
Asking for forgiveness,
Asking for love,
Asking for things
God cannot give.

We make our choices
In life and in death

We must live with them.

Never forget a face.
Never forget a face.
Never forget a face.

Never forget a choice.

All that is holy
Is within

You and Joyce.

Take the last nod:

She does as to you.
Pointed a' weapon
Near to you.

An' there we stand,
Neath' fiery land.
A place where soul and heart
Are no partner but

Foe;

A place where man and woman
Forever

              Stand.

I'm a simple man,
With

Un-simple needs.

Give me wood of gold and
Saw dust of sand.
Give me jokes that weight tons
And what-nots
That resemble toys.

I cannot whimper
When there are
No more
Clouds
To cry for.

See the black sea.
See how it spreads.
It's like
A lost lovers bed.
A husband inside.
No words

Said.

I'm wondering
What he said to you.
I'm wondering
Why now
Your'e so goddarn' blue?
Was one an' one three?
Or was one an' one two?

Every mystery I've seen
Has had a face.
Be it colored magenta, maroon, or
Purple blue.

You tell me what I should believe
And I'll make believe it
For you.

Take last place.

Take first.

Take whatever
Place they
Give you.

That's never
How
It is.

How you
Say it is and
I
Know
It is.

Sounds
Like a
Bumpersticker.

So soon the fragile child made his way to the
Lost river of the forgtten souls of what she knew
I made my way there ok I did
And that's when I saw she was neath' souls below mine

I'm a taken man, I said.
I'm a sealed one.
She laughed with a grin,
Oh, you are the holy one, she said,
Oh, you are the holy son.
What could I do? I thought.
What could I say?
What could I pray but to the sun
Above and the moon
Below.

An old woman by the name of gray
Pleads she has something to say.
Her hair is made of licorice
And her skin is made of gold
But her eyes only show
Something
That can never be told

Sick son
By the river
Near the sun
I'm with you here
Can't you hear?

Take my hand
I am yours
As you are mine

Don't be scared near me
Away from me

I am your father
As you are my son
Even when I
Am not and am not

Either and each.

Each and or.

Her and him.

Him and Her.

Neither and nothing.

Yelling my name she says its true
And I say, It is! It is! It is!
And,
Up we go,
Up the stairs away from
Her and myself,
Away from

Myself.

Away from
What

I created and towards

What

I've yet

To become.

The buttons
Popped
As she pressed
Her lavender lips

Against those velvet
Diamond dogs,

Her swearing that
They were mine and
Mine only

Midnight - Once it
Passes through the cold -
Shows a color that
Only true men and
Women know

Ones wishing
To see
Their best

And their worst

Rightfulness
Royalty
Righteousness

These are
The things

The mighty forget
And the low
Crave

We billion new
**** on the dew
Of singing nightingales
Dressed all in blue

Each note of truth
Held
In Her song

Where all along
We thought we
Actually belonged

Son's being
Son's and father's
Holding the secret,

"There never
Was one," he moans.

Tears sink in
Sand scorched lands
By no hand
But man

All these
Unnumbered graveyards

Sphinxes whose
Riddles break
Your favorite cookie jar

Seeing
That all this is,

Is a thing - in our end - You
Grip with fear unlimited

The old
Say that
The Majesties hold

The ear of
One billion writhing

The writhing, as well,
Hold the minds
Of the Majesties

One and the same
None with no name

Some forgotten

All remembered

Where all and
One

Are the
Same

Miserable

Same.

Simplicity
In the act of life
And
Death

Week begins
To end

Free men
Are born
To die

In sleep we
Dream the dreams
We see in our day

Fragmented
Poetry for the

Mad ones

The pail of water
Boils over
As the moon flips
The channel

To the bible

I tell you
There is nothing worse
In this world

Than the 9 to 5

Man save man

For we
Are all

We have

I got no place I can go
No I got nothing I can do
I am waiting for an answer
But all I see is you leaving faster
Mention me the moment and I'll start to cry
Tell me no story for I have been untied
Where have you gone to my lady?
Or have you gone and I'm crazy?

I whisper to myself no
As I hear the call of the crow
These eyes are dry and greying
There is something inside of me saying
I must lay down my weapons
So I can learn the next lesson
Where have you gone to my lady?
Or have you gone and I'm crazy?

No, these hours aren't mine
They belong only to the hands of time
But you, I thought I had you
When we sailed together through the blue
Yes I thought we were together
But now I see we were really apart
Where have you gone off to my lady?
Or have you already gone and I'm crazy?

The wind outside my window crackles and howls
My face has grown weary always wearing a scowl
I've forgotten the way of things and how to see
I remember a past but it makes no difference to me
As I sit in a grey lit morning
I think of our sweet life turning
Oh' where have you gone off to my lady?
Or have gone and I'm crazy?

Rain has started to fall as it wets the high grass
The rust on the rails chips the fine polished brass
Each pebble I walk upon
Is the like the end of our song
I look through my eyes but I see only you
I try to be strong but I don't have a clue
Where have you gone to my lady?
Or have you already gone and I'm crazy?

I can't recall how I used to be without her
I've lost my feelings and I can't find the cure
I tell no lies but she's inside and I can't hide
The trials of pain I try day and day to feign
When I think through life
All I see is lines n' lines of strife
No smile can grant me the beauty she held
Waving her hand soft eyes sparkle like a spell
Where have you gone to my lady?
Are you already gone and have I gone crazy?

Eagles feathers press against the side of my head
As I lay alone with no one near in my bed
The coffee is boiling the streets are getting run down
I don't even know how long I've been living in this town
People say my name but I can't recall
If I arrived here in Summer or in the late Fall
I make my way to the river
As I feel a familiar shiver
Where have you gone to my lady?
Have you gone and I'm crazy?

Turn off the heat and let me turn off the light
This room is getting hot and the people too bright
Lay down your worries and pull up a chair
Outside there is nothing so hang up your cares
I see no reason to continue nor hope in the score
Everyone around me shouts love but I see lore
Swear to me the rules of right and wrong
And I'll show you a life without love lived too long
Where have you gone to tonight my lady?
Or have you already gone and I'm crazy?

Already missed the way outta here
And I'm still seeming to miss you dear
Last night was too short a time with you
Now all I'm feeling is a deep sorrow of blue

Oh there aren't many things I wish for
No there's not many things I long for
A simple man in a complicated time
With you and only you could we feel fine

Too many nights have I walked these streets alone
Trying to beat the heat of a house filled with treats
Oh the mornings are so hard when you ain't around
Howling like a hound at a sky with no shinin' moon

Stepping back from her
Wide eyed beauty
There is something there
I'm in the dark
She's chewing on snacks

After

3 AM.

Wild past presents
We are the dead eyed chompers
Making
Believe
That we are special

We are special

I'm the last ******
The solo adventure
The beauty
Of the absolute

We talk
Towards smiles
We know
We'll never solve each other

Smile

I'm in love

I am buzzed

I listen to the chatter
Of socially inept humans

With nice shoes.

The fog is thick and

I'm wondering

Where the chips are.

Also,

I'm in love.

To a man
That inspired many
And left swinging
A bolted flaming gate

I took something from you
A thing I cannot name
Though it rests inside of me
I don't know where to rest
Or where to be

Too long have these hours past
As my minds been moving fast
I type to an unseen crowd
Swallowed and in deep dark wallow

A Dark night outside trickles
As well as fiendishly tickles
The fiendish crazed eyes
That never seem to abide

Could it be
That you were the one
I was destined to travel with
Fast and on the run?

No, no, no...
This can't be
There's another task
I was meant to do
Before I met
This lovely flowing doe

Oh the last ray of the shining sun
Left me feeling naked and alone
A child crying loudly in the carnival
Made me feel so naive and so cold

A refugee I became
In a lone bar far past two
I left there nightly
With a sightly cross hair
On a heart I never chased to know

But the temples that many pray at
Are crumbling fast
Because a God they thought they knew
Tested time
And did not last

I dissolve into time
Where parents that bore me
Say they no longer know me

They'll blame the fact
On quick changing images
On absolute divinity
And with frosty smiles
That were traveled lovingly

I ask myself yet I know not myself
So I expect no comforting answer
As Rimbaud
And all the rest
Did the quite the same feat

Lo' I am answered
With oh but a horrifying answer
From a source unseen and unknown
For the life we struggle through
Is a search
For a ball
In white snow

Inspired by the dead
By words that seem oh so real
And a toiling woman glances as she rises
Dressed so serenely
In touched' abnormalities

Ambrosia woman
That made me feel free

Where have you been lately?
Why can't you be near me?

You listened to the drip of a tear
And the worry of every whisper

Touched the memory that wasn't mine
And tip toed naked down every river

A market burned while you picked away at the fruit
There was nothing to do but buy you the cheapest boot

Another loss for the kind of man
I thought I admitted

Stones polish themselves to perfection
As I had to disappear because of detection

Tell the world where you been and see what they say
Riddle them a picture and I bet you a million they'll sit down and stay

Red jars that show brown to the eyes of children in lore
Make believe stories that can never bore

Youth was the thing we chased away
And youth will be the thing
We'll always want now
And more

In account of extreme conditions
The biographical sketching of
A Father spending all for the family
I fear the unknown & embrace

Essential to fail for the risk in
The end is the only true thing
That matters more than the world
Hold my hands dear child - Jump!

Inheritance of a soul
The body left behind
An entrance made of coal
On the horizon rests the stayed' line

A tending breath
Upon a supple breast
Where the young tests its best
Only to see history squirm
In its placid need for unrest
A night is only known
When the sun sets for its own atone

A breath for the naked
For the weary know no love
I press a kiss upon foggy
And see my mother's ancient face
She is young - no - she is old
She is everything that mother before
Her needed and wanted

Have I gone mad in these invisible words?
Do I press my own peoples lodged' souls
Within the caverns of my made body?
Are we in control anymore?
Have we ever been?
Are the questions of the age to Frank to
Be answered, for the youth is to young?

And the pressing of the wicked witch
Makes the toes of the frogs of centuries lore
In forgotten mythology of Crumbs masterpiece
Accept all that was forgotten from a mailbox of scrutiny
In turns we take the sisters we did not want
For mormonism is for the buyers of sires

The horn of the forgotten taxi driver
Whistles as they hear the virgins weep
The bottles bash against the dead of the street
And the neat clink their deadliest China
So all in all we are the same in the eyes God

And the only thing I need
Is a one way ticket to the bar
And the thing I see isn't too far
I gotta' keep on moving baby
I'll get there, it won't be very long

So take my heart, you see it there?
It's the one with the whiskers and
The eyes of pearly blue
And you know my mother? Her
Name ends with the sound of Sue

In the wind is the way of the forefather's
I make what you want if you got the price
We argue and we swear
In a world of injustice, we strive to be fair
Take a dollar from my pocket, see if I care

I'm alone now and without voice
Bear a child and see if you have choice
I'm no veteran, the bullets doth not know me
When the sun rises, assign my heart to flee
The night rests upon my weary shoulders
And the Parisian night falters in mine own view
It's majesty flickers upon my tongue like a  lightning bug

Poetry is a dangerous dance where the God's lead with left feet.

Every forgotten
Tune
Was once
A mighty song.

Tragic how the human melody
Can so easily
Turn into
An orchestra of pain.

It is what happens
When
Truth to power
Power to truth skews.

Respect for all people
Is the only way path
To equality.

Maybe,
With hope,
With vigilant drive and
Unrelenting empathy,

Every
Lost Song

In America

Can be rediscovered and born anew.

So why
In this ongoing search
For this song is there

Treason?
Gas?
Blood on blood?

Why the broken eyes?
The cracked ribs?
The lost lives?

The spirits of the people
You fight so hard
To dispossess and scare
Still hear the song.

They will not stop fighting
To hear it.

There is no amount of force
Or violence
On Earth to mute
Such a cacophony of care.

What are they so afraid of hearing?

The song of the fighting free

Or

Their lack of one?

The Glasses were everywhere.
We'd ordered thirty minutes ago.
Through the trough of people, I spied a warning moon.

The piano man was drunk;
Carpet spinning into a disoriented equilibrium
Listening to the music of an
Unfinished album in D minor - bells and whistles in tact.

Caught off by no one, I learned quick to grow larger shoulders.
It was dark and I stood next to a man that a son once called Pa.
Two wenches of the street's West were moaning and smiling;
Lost children of a generation connected.
Their father's had abandoned their love to search for his own - for good reason.
To create and not love is the worst of the treason's.

Tailored suits and ten cocktails later, the mood lighting came down.
I saw the things I wanted to see at the time.
Looks like there's nothing else to do when the world ends but drink.
A foreign sound came from the kitchen line - love mixed with parsley & tender short rib.  
Garnish the hearts around you - keep it interesting - for the seconds are dwindling prettily.
Orange grove, scattered leaves, a pepper tree where underneath lie you and me.
Peace near the mouth of the river where Jack London swore he'd make us dinner.

"The heart can take more than the mind," advised the unwritten sage clothed in blue.

French pastry brunette burns through our bill like a forest fire.
She says she's from Paris, but she looks like she grew up in one of those small towns.
One of those small towns where sheep roam and trees are cut down by hand.
Her eyes remind me of polished almond's and when she smiles, we all smell strawberry lemonade.
She walks in the rain without an umbrella and, when she speaks,
The world turns another rotation, but slower this time.
She walks in the rain and doesn't mind getting wet.
With nowhere to be and no one to see, she is simply and ultimately free.

I press my palm on the edge of the table to watch the drinks slide toward me.
Everyone's dressed up like it's the prom and I'm wearing a baby-blue, leopard print cardigan.
I try again to remember another story of the past, but it's loose in my grasp.
When one is away for so long, it is hard to feel those old emotions.
Though we grow, parts of us stay the same.
And when we die, we are buried and given another life, another name.

The maitre d' dances to his own tune.
The barstools speak for themselves.
The glasses clink back and forth in rhyme like crickets in a field.

Bartender's and their backs are like soldier's in the heat of war.
These drunk's have money and we want it, men! This is what it's all about!
Head tilted toward an art deco fan, it spins like the old day's with elegance and indifferent ease.
White jackets, slicked back hair, she asks me what I want and I tell her I don't care.

We were young and we were old.
We made our choices, bad and good. .
We never once did what we were told
Everything was bought and nothing was sold.
Her love was like the smell of copper or gold.
She took my hand as it was shaking and cold.

We stand to shift against the tide that has thinned.
Particular's are exchanged by misguided currencies and unspoken promises.
The wenches are back and they're both dressed in black;
Masterpieces never looked so good.
Monet tips his hat and Gogh takes a sip,
As the white coats fire their third volley into the crowd.

A grin never said so much,
And never sounded so loud
As I watched you melt away
In the thick, seething crowd.

We paid our bills and walked outside.
The stars above walked with us in stride.
Son's and father's always give each other the tough ride.
There is no grander show of love, than one in disguise.

Thank you's and fare thee well's.
When we'll see each other again, I can never tell.

A moment becomes a memory.
A memory becomes a story.

A story becomes poetry.

And the poetry becomes life.

Foggy air in the half moon half sun sky
Wet concrete exhausted from the tire squeals of nightmare cars
Translucent to the human eye
I pitch my back straight like a tent seeing
No stars skyward, just a blank of dark and light blue awash
Penetrating my eye to my brain to my throat and
Down down down into my stomach
When the wind blows over me my legs start to turn with the wheels
Car honks behind me - I'm in the middle of the road - but I force them
To pass me and they say something, but I'm too tired
To say anything back and nod my head as if I'm a foreigner
We are all God's children until we choose to be otherwise

At the crossroad headlights flash out at me like wild screeching bats
I see their fangs and there's blood dripping from them
Yellow eyes and mouths that stretch five feet long
I've been leaning back, waiting my turn, wondering why they're here
It's 6:15 in the morning and the world is alive and moving
In front of me stands the building of the trees where dirt rests,
Men and women who've fallen from the motherboard camp,
Dogs bark at wild squirrels too afraid to remember what there home
Once was. At last, the cars have dwindled out and a small red car with
A faceless man waves at me through his window.
He says something but I can't hear him from the wind passing over
My ears. Whatever it was, at least I recognize I'm here.

My muscles begin to tight as they turn and turn with the gears
The day is a mirror looking in at itself
Still silence takes over and what once was a rush of many, is now a desert
Void of all life save the vibrant sands that stir from the faintest of winds
The forest to my right hangs there like the invisible moon above me
I can take myself for granted, but the forest, the life, the foliage,
The green, the flowers, the spread, the buffalo, the water, all of that
Can never be forgotten or done away with
There is a noble truth in nature and if we strip it away
We will be stripping apart of ourselves away with it.
I take the hill and my legs are throbbing.
I bend, manually change the gears, and feel my knees bend
Sweat starts in the middle of my back and others roar down the hill
Next to me as if evading a fire. Is there one? I think
The others smile at me, a few wink, and I realize - all is alright.
Atop the hill, I turn around and see the traffic start to build like a great
Flood of metal, meat, minds, and routine dreams.
Exhaust pours forth onto the street while old women with handbags
Cross the street.
They are going to morning mass.
It's a Monday, but still, they pray to pray and pray for something.

I think of an elixir to stop time as I peak over the *** holy hill
Acorns, twigs, branches, and beer cans line my path
If I fall, I think, At least I have an excuse not to show up for work
I dip down and the first thing I feel and hear is the wind
Rushing past me, then the blurred leaves of trees and the street
Just peaking through the broken lines through the branches
The orange street lights are still alight and their ghostly orange color
Runs down like a heavenly tube onto the fog damped street
I make my turn over the painted ground that states: NO BIKING and
Make the hard right turn and then left onto the small street that leads
To the main drag toward my destination.

Joggers whose faces are swollen with thought and fatigue limp by me
A dog takes his owner for a walk through the high, wet grass
Police sirens and trumpets sound in the distance, past the tennis courts
The sky has changed colors and is now a dark grey
It looks like rain but San Francisco in the Inner Richmond always
Looks like rain.
I wait at the light and see there are no cars so pedal forward
As I climb up the hill I pass crusty's too alive to live and deal
With the structure that is this times life
I've no respect for the ones who leave their lives behind and
Carry on. Their garbage and their memories should either be packed out
Or burned by the owner
Everything burns or can be crushed and should be to get the proper
Ending that all things - even memories and love - deserve
Another street, no more lights, and the parking lot holds scattered
Owners. I lock what is mine and run my hand through my sweat
Wetted hair. Someone says something to me over my shoulder, but I
Pretend not to hear them. Too tired for conversation I blink my eyes
And tighten my muscles.
They are worn from the previous day, months, and years.
One cannot think, How did I get here?
One must think, Where am I going next?

When the thing
Is about oneself
The meaning
Gets lost

Taking time to
See the scratched back
Of the coin or the ripped
Page of a tossed, two week
Newspaper or the cry
Within the shelter, muffled by
The mad white clothed men
Makes all the difference

The refrigerator knocks twice
I speak of that, the noises within
Or the questions of alarms gone
Wrong for a job whose song is
Tuned by the howling of stray dogs
Is my life at present; I write this
Because wine has been spilt, speaking
Not in code for to hide is to flee
Child-like & temporarily

A call in the dark - life is like that
A shriek in the forest
A hymn underneath wooden stairs
Littered with the sawdust of a carpenter
Who hung by his faith
A long time ago
A man I did not know
A perspective that hardens, yet melts
Like the first and last snow

Life and Death
Play such roles
In our lives

The Fact
Is quite hard
To let go

And simply
Start living
With it  

Our minds are
Programed to make
The lives we possess
More important than
The other's that surround us

To get past that
To step away from that
To walk toward selflessness
With our feet no longer ours;
The mast splintered, broken, thrown out
To a sea no longer ours; rocks to bone
To treasure so sought lost for all others;
The eyes show the weight of all within.

An Act of Dissolving:

Becoming free
From all
Who are
Around thee

They used to reveal nothing to us.

It used to be
Leaves from trees to the public ground
Whose internal lines
Showed what they ate when
They weren't hungry.

And
When they saw that movie and;
It's ok,
Nevermind,
Let's guess about it.

No one ever said,
Let's not.

Maybe one
Opened up their love lives:

I was with him
I was with her
We were together
Through this night and
We made it
Until we no longer could.

Then,
Fabrications of myths moved on top of each other
Like late-night projections
Pushing pushing pushing
toward Nothing the world
THE WORLD

couldn't bring on its own.

I feel bad for movie stars.
I feel bad for pop stars.
I feel bad for fame because the ego
And myth has
Nothing to do with empathy.

To provide
Is never to feel
Fully.

To provide and step away
Is to say,

I am here
Currently,

But my grass
Grows
And dies

On another side.

It's a prism
A lost chasm
Of where words ever mattered
And matter
Was nothing but words.

Far before booked -

An escalation.

it turns into a state of

let me see

Let me see

let me see

and there we are.

There, we are.

Goodnight.

That's
The short
And
Long of it.

We make it
Until
We break it.

There's not
Much else
To

It.

The snap
Is either
Two things:

The mind
OR
The body.

If it be the mind
The mind will
Carry the body until
The body decides to
Collapse

If it be the body first,
Then let it be,
Say your prayers,
Because the body
Stands no chance
To the strains
Of

Mother Earth.

Make do
Until
You are through.

Create
Until
You cannot do and do
True

Every
Person seeks

Salvation.

Many ask.

But,

The ones who earn it,

They,

Are the ones who are remembered.

The sky is long
And the wind blows hard
Been living twenty six years
But still feel
Like I ain't even here

Blood in the trees
Buzzing of the bees
Whispering windows
Just birds take flight
Child holds a red balloon
Wishing it was a kite

Oh' lonesome love
Infinite sky above
Restless meaning
Ants around me teeming
She lay next to me
Purring and dreaming

Turn the record over
Listen to another side
Car is busted
People can't be trusted
Bike is lost
This heart of mine is rusted

I wake in the morning
And I sleep at night
This wedding ring of mine
Is starting to feel a little tight
Ice cream smile with a
Blueberry triumphant smile
I can't help it
If this is the way it is

Give me a dollar
And I'll double
Your take
No one seems to understand
There's nothing
At stake
Let me alone
Read my mind
Count the clock
Tell the time

Through the drapes
Pass the trees
And the sky
I caught her eyes
In a lie
When you know
You know
So I turned myself around

And I ride
For a mountain side
Desolate and awash in solitude
A caught cradle
Babies breath and sand
She always told me
I had the hardest hands

Rejection
Is motivations best and
Worst
Friend
A stinging nettle collides with a
Hissing kettle
And I'm stripped and searched
In the local airport
Cursing my desire to move
To prove
Is was never meant to love,
But to run

No fault of mine.
Genetics of germination
Permeate all around me
I've lost my way
My footing
My grip
Another misstep
And I'll be to weak
To catch myself

Broken mirrors
Show a thousand faces
Miles of caves
A million voices
Sky of diamonds
Bird made of leather
I'm too proud
To live forever

Why can't it just be true?
That thing you wanna' do.
Tell yourself you can
And you will, one day.
But don't be surprised
If what you get is not what
You expected
We all have to pay a price
For a slice of this fleeting life

I feel myself changing
Yes, everything's rearranging
I'm lost on an ocean front
My hearts on another stunt
And since we've been apart
I'm finding it hard
To come up
With a better start

When you got no road to drive on
And the snow gets too high to go through
When you've run outta' fuel
And the world's only been cruel
Make your way down to where I live
Near the apple trees and the forest groves
We can talk about your worries
We can speak about your woes
Make your way down to where I live
And we'll give it another try
We'll give it another give

Attuned bodies
Looking for
Immortality

Seeking a horizon
Set yet, in
Reverse.

What one
Does,
Does not
Matter.

It is We
And what

We

Do

That matters.

I listen to people
Talk of
Friends who are now artists.

They make things.
They construct things.
They put
Things on
Display.
And I wonder really,
Really
What is the point?
Two colors together
Make another
And the word, well, I think without
Any kind of force, more
Caught
Up
With
One's
Own
Ego...
Really has no place anywhere.

It's like a
Brick
Tossed aside void
Of
Concrete or
Others...
Alone on the
Street side by side
With trash and
Ripped up weeds.

There
Are
These challenges.
The mirror
Holds truth to every
Falsity.
One must choose
To
See said
Fault though...
To choose to see well,
That is the
First

Step.

I can hold a thousand
Candles at once and still not hold true light
If it is not for a reason for the whole.

I know what is right by the taste that befalls
My mouth; by what my eyes do when I squint to think;
By the looks of others faces.

Everlasting humanity
Dying
So to be
Reborn

When one
Forgets about
Time,
One forfeits the knowledge
Of the one's
Who have come

Before.

It is
A fair trade
For
Her

And

I.

For what am I
Without
Her?

But,
What is her
Without
I?

Why,
Must there,
Be a question,
At

All?

Maybe equality stems
From
Dependencies.

Is War
Dependent
On

Faith?

Ha.

Of course

It

Is.

The only solution
Man will resolve their
Trivial conflicts is through

Complete

Annihilation or

Complete

Integration.

The later is impossible
Until we evolve outside of

Ourselves.

We still live within the cave.

Breakfast
Without socks
And you're
Late
For coffee again.

It's ok,
Just pour the cream.

As you dribbled
I nibbled

On the objective fact
That our love

Would never falter

Seeing we promised -
Quietly and in secret
As all long lovers
Are known to do -
To grow together as one
Rather than apart
As one.

A petal from a rose knows
It will one day
Fall from its mother stem.
We are but the petals,
And our lives are but the
Center so let us fall, when
We are both ready, as one.

In the meantime,

Let us enjoy the breeze,

The everlasting sun.

Not the news that was inside of the brain
And the crisscross of what was there before
Dear love who pushes everyone around
They say that slaves are long gone but I see
That love is the one holding the reigns

In speed we know not where the thoughts come from
So whatever is produced seems like truth
Spreading apart time like a deck of cards at a table
The Piper makes sure all the dust is away from the stable
And the brain recollects only what it wishes to

Sister to be so far away from home makes my heart to stone
There was a place I wanted us to go together but now no longer
Singing in song to press the ear to mother earth
Pressing my lips to the bright blue sky kissing God
We poets are nothing but mathematicians with words

To pray in the soft humid light of Middle Europe
Living in solitude away from a life once known
To dance underneath the milk spilt sky of stars
Breathing in serenity once only permitted for the Gods
The table has turned and it is exactly the same as before

Money in the eye of the internet - though I hate to admit it
She once said, "You look good sitting there" and I laughed
The shadows spread across the walls of my mind
And all I have to show for it are thousands of pages
And lacking anything I can honor as time well spent

Piano Gould plays fast and in sync with the madness of men
The madness of the world and the madness of his own mind
Swirling eclipse churning the sea ravaging the natives
Burning the trees with ****** as the ***** of the sea
Suit up their pants, button up their tops, and fasten their ties

Sun on my back like a cape or hot stick of boiling butter
The two together laughed and drank and spit on each other
Leaving the soil black where once it had been white
There is love again, there is Her promise with her fingers crossed
Away from the public one will always think of the door

An lo' the rejection slips that burn in the pockets like coal
The train leaving the station, you on it, knowing not where to go
Sea breeze leaks through your auburn hair as the mistress
Twiddles with her candy cane and combs through her hair
A promise to see the whole world in just one blink

Courtesy forsooth I tell thee that ****** was never a sin
Nakedness was God's wish and the robes must come off
The sheets of our bed are on fire and the windows are closed
I hold my breath but yet still breathe from my own nose
The hare eats its carrots as the fox waits to jump from its own hole

Fingers dance upon the ice covered plain field
The soldiers swords are ready, they've eaten their last meal
The blacksmith's hammer swings and is getting worn down
The queen on her pedestal is presented with a newly sewn gown
We peasants with pens praise Shakespeare for his ingenuity
Lo' in secret with his estate and his money, he truly was one

The hard-workers with their hands and their blades and their resentment
Make anything presented with them show a veil of false sentiment
Writing too long for my trusty pen to hold anymore ink
At times I think I've lost my mind, my heart tips on the brink
Where Lear entrusts his daughters, the chorus readies their mourners

Enough hot hair blown through the voiceless crowd
To wonder if there is any end to this start
Were the street markets to busy pan handling there wears?
The nook breakers taking us all in a quick and fast despair?
The money men shining bright with all their might
Though their souls are long gone with nowhere to go
Body boldly beckons itself to be give another chance
But the blues says "There's nothing we can do about it son"
Couple of her batting eyes as Her smile was the only thing I wanted to get to know
The internet nets itself as we can barely even question ourselves
Though war and prejudice and the plague are all "at rest"
What will be the next collision throughout this world's test
Nickels no longer pour from the mouths of the rich
We seem to be all born to breathe and to snitch
Fast paced with shoes tight on the mind about face
The winds were blowing heavy yesterday
Today I just can't say

An eye dyed
The color black

Glares at me

From the side window.

I'm holding
A thing
Of orange juice and
I hate orange juice

But the eye dyed
The color black

Is indifferent
To my feelings.

It, they, the eye dyed
The color black

Only cares about

What I do
And, I presume,
Why I do it for reasons

The eye
Will never
Admit.

Answering why,
Would only

Make them

Us.

Assembly line broke down as the mirrors crashed and cracked.
"Angelina!!!" the crooked boss man yelled.
"Get in herre" the crook socks rang like bells.
Angelina poured sweat of the yellow blouse she had bought two days before for another interview in another office and another profession altogether. The room spun for her even though she would rather have it stay still.
"How much longer till this mechanism shifts and all of this stops altogether. Have their been madder women then me? Has there been madder men then me? Have their been madder times or are the times the same just with different tools and gears and nuts and bolts to tirelessly continue, heaving the corpses through the concrete cracked and littered streets?"
"Angelina!!!"
Another nail gun dropped to the floor, firing twenty rounds into fifty blue collared men's tie clips, deflecting them all to the near by wall which held the coats, the hats, the work shoes which the men were not allowed to wear due to "safety intrusions" and "labor union by lateral horizontal negative dairy laws". Another unfortunate fortune from the cracked mirror case but that, of course, is not the story, our story is...
"Angelina!!!"
Angy hurried up the hungry, empty metal n' holy stairs. She lost her high heels in a crack in the stairs but left them there due to the fear. 2011 had been a good year until she had been forced by her landlord, also her boyfriend, to get a real job rather then stuffing her knitted socks with her poetry and trying to haggle them to new age modern morons of the hip near sighters whom glasses were unintelligible but necessary. The mirrors of the conveyor belts reached the top of the platform but the door was shut. The mirrors bent and shattered leaving the splintered pattern of the world outside of them multiplied by the millions.
Noon was her lunch break and it was noon oh two. Angelina would be late with her lunch and the landlord, Nick, was planning to stop in with some home made sandwiches and home made potato chips.
"Nick will have to wait." Angelina thought to herself. "Nick hates to wait."
Angelina entered to stand in the wake of a shaking, sweating purse wearing, purse lipped boss boss. His hair was tossed to one side, struggling to hide his baldness. The subtelty of their relationship was difficult considering Angelina had slept with boss boss to get tossed this job. The act was actually enjoyable, Angelina thought him a good lay, but boss boss was not a fun person to be around, and he was a much worser boss.
"Angelina!!!"
"Hi."
"Your FIRED!"
"Bye then sir..."
"ANGELINA!!!"
"Yes sir?"
"AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK WHY YOU WERE JUST SO HASTILY AND VIOLENTLY FIRED?"
"It is not my place to inquire why I was fired sir. If I was not doing my specific duty well enough I trust you, as my superior, to have thought what this subtraction would do to your company. If I had questioned you I would be questioning yourself as a boss and I would never want to do that...sir."
"VERY GOOD. DISMISSED!!!"

---

"So he just fired you, no explanation, nothing?"
"There was nothing really to say after the fact."
"You could have demanded an explanation."
"I was in a hurry to meet you. I know you hate to be late for our dates."
"That's sweet."
"And boss boss shouldn't have to explain himself, he IS a professional."
"He works in mirrors which doesn't make at all make him a ropes course supervisor."
"He's very handsome when He means what He says."
The home made potato chips had been burnt because Nick had fallen asleep while watching old re-runs of run marathons from the 80's. Nick had trained for the Olympics in 83' but while home after training and drinking an OK shake, Nick had stubbed his toe while drinking the OK shake and trying to get to a ringing telephone. Nick had collided so perfectly, so quickly and with such for that his right big toe had bent all the way back, his big toe fingernail touching the hairy patch on the top of his foot. The doctors said amputate the toe and save the foot or chop the entire thing off altogether. Nick, not being a dumb ****, opted for the entire foot. He never raced again.
"Are you going to try and get your job back?
"I don't know"
"Well. It's the 28th tomorrow and I need the rent either way. The insurance agency I'm with has been bugging me about percentages and utilities and...well, you don't want to hear about my worries."
"I don't mind sweety."
"Thanks doll. What're you gonna do?"
"Find more work I guess. I haven't written anything in a while, maybe it's a good time to get back on that train, see what comes up."
"I saw a help wanted sign at the mall nail salon."

---

Baby stroller wheels lined with pink and grey gum were lined up against the overwhelming glass wall enclosing the shops from the streets. Trees reflected green with the sun light lined across the clear wall. Birds flew at the top of the block near the ceiling crop, they wanted to come in but were confused how to do so. Children came through the valley with lollipops and balloon powder and strings lined with meats, they were headed to the capitalistic circus, a wonder land that only brought guilt from lovers and their future children's shame.
Angelina stood outside the electronic moment to moment receivers. She was afraid of not being allowed entry. Everyone entering entered easily, but what of she? Would she be accepted? Clicking her unpainted fingernail atop her leopard print clip purse and what was worse she had no cash to get her orange Julius or perhaps see a film if she couldn't conjure of the courage to stop off at the salon. That was why she had come here, right?
"Where had the salon been?" Angelina said aloud.
The mass of the mall was vibrating with a ferocious congruity. Through the fog of meaty torso's lay blank and content faces. Gripping their wares, their steaming quick food, some of it dropping to their foot only to be kicked around on the dirtied floor. At times a rat would scurry from underneath a traveling underwear salesmen to grab a piece of fried bread, half cooked meat, or small pieces of children's hair which floated softly down to the wet and mud streaked floor. Mall cops waved their sticks to each other, some kind of HAIL or CHEER that they were the one's in charge round' these parts and there wasn't nothing no one was going to do about it.
"Do I really want to work here?"
There was no choice though. Angelina needed to pay the rent or her landlord/boyfriend would kick her out on the street and from there, she had no clue where the blue sky would take her. Her parents, both dead thirteen years ago, would be a terrible place to set up camp, especially in a graveyard. Angelina's brother lived over seas working at a ***** clinic trying and failing to heal the weak and unwanted. He had tried to heal her through voodoo practices he gathered up drunk through his 6 month stay in New Orleans but it had only given her a bright blue and red rash for three to four weeks. She never longer trusted her brother with any kind of healing or "feel better" techniques and was no prepared to make the trek to Europe anytime soon, she was in a relationship at the moment anyway and she had a feeling she might be in love.
Angelina stepped through the glass exchanging doors in unison with a family that was entering at the same time. The door seemed to open for any body but was tentative if it would accept hers, this time, it seemed to.
Inside she made her way up "the miracle marbled stairs" which shined bright and blinded Angelina in certain parts of her eyes. They flashed bright red and greens and whites so visciously and fast Angelina thought she might have some kind of seizure. She planted her feet directly on each step as she walked up the 20 to 30 stairs, going very slow and gripping the handrail. People started to gather around behind her shouting "HURRY UP LADY" and "WE DON"T GOT ALL DAY" and giggling to themselves.
"Were they not seeing these lights?" Angelina thought to herself.
"Do you kind people know where the nail salon is?"
Angelina then realized that what she had just said made no sense. Her eyes were gripped shut, her hand tight around the shiny gold handrail, her feet pointed strictly out like some kind of paralyzed summer penguin. The people which had gathered behind her stood bare, jaw slacked, wondering who would step forth to help this poor helpless creature.
A little girl with red sparkled shoes and a orange bow atop her head stepped forth. She smiled even though she knew Angelina had her eyes tightly shut, maybe she would feel the warmth? The girl's mother reached for her so not to get to close to that "crazy lady" but the little girl pulled away, her father saying "If it's her time to go, it's her time to go".
"Miss lady with the tiger purse, I think the hardware nail pull on is on the 8th floor next to the people that sell bread with meat sticks inside."
The little girl stepped gingerly back as Angelina loosened her grip on the now stained golden handrail. She shook her hair out and ran her fingers through it, straightening herself up as if she were about to perform a song or late night poetry reading. Angelina opened her eyes and peered down at the girl.
"Thank you little girl. What's the best way to get there?"
The girl child said nothing. She pointed to a large metal box shooting up and down the length that looked like a rocket straight to heaven. People were gathered all around its foundation, oooing and ahhhing at the sight of the one's which entered. There was a sign over the line of tubes reading "A Shot at the Void".
"A shot at the Void..." Angelina tentaively breathed to herself.
Angelina stepped up the last couple glittering stairs and made her way through the thick crowd of stale clothes, cheap tricks, obsessed teeny boppers, hardware for wear, shoes with no laces, strips of bacon hanging from mouths, lettuce all shredded, soda cans with their lids torn clean off with small splatters of blood lined on the rim, and a perfectly painted fingernail was drawn on the number eight where the long lines and rows of numbers were there to guide the one's to the shot.
"Number eight. Easy enough"
Angelina pushed the button.

---

Inside the tube there was a slow light hum of jazz transfusion and children breathing. There were three little daughters gripping their mother's hands as they bit into their soda pop straws, ******* up the soda inside the plastic and cardboard cups. All three children stared up at her, maybe wondering what she was wondering, which was exactly what Angelina was wondering, a combination of mistaken telepathy, an accident of consciousness that would be never be talked about between the four of them but most surely existed between them.

Smooth as clay they drifted up the translucent clear glass tube, shooting skyward like a man made rocket shot from a man made gun. They passed shops hocking wears of angelic colors: clear pearl pastels shone through the clear blue glass shining into Angelina's eyes forcing Her to squint, dog barks could be heard through the whistling air begging for treats of black and brown, teriyaki chicken strips and duck heads spun absurdly fast with a rhythm that resembled the wave of a crowd at a baseball game waving wildly like children flying from swings never wanting to land in the sand; all this as the three and one flew higher and higher and higher.

---

Ding.

---

Angelina stepped forward, leaving the three children behind Her to fend for themselves. From the looks of the button they had pushed they were headed East. She gripped her bag and peeled Her eyes, twisted her hair in a tight knot to show her aggression, her vigor, her confidence and stepped into the rabid salmon like crowd.

She saw no signs of the nail salon. She saw only posters of rabbits holding artichoke legs and nail guns firing rockets of ice cream and corn bread. These were the mirrors of the supposed revolution but had nothing to do with her nail salon, she needed the cash and she needed it NOW! How hard were the numbers to acquire? How long must she wait before the envelope is sent and the letter read and thrown out? How long Lord, how long?

Questions for a time when the pay checks were easy coming and Her man was by her side. She passed by a little boy playing William Tell with her sister. An apple on the little tots head and in the boys a small, tight and silver ray gun. The boy pulled the trigger but only a small plume of smoke came from the top making the boy ball over crying and wailing and kicking and screaming, nearly catching Angelina in the shin, what a mess...The little girl stayed still in Her spot though because her brother told her "Now don't move a cinch." Wise move my girl, wise move...

At last! Angelina, reaching Her destination saw the brightly neon colored corner of her beloved Nail Salon. The windows shone with pure red glitter, miniatures of poodles lapping up puddles of ice water, women laying out on the sun to catch rays from the Earth, and husbands shaving their backs all in a circle and row.

"How beautiful..." Angelina breathed out.

She entered the store front. Greeted from every corner were beautiful young cupid like angels faces shining divine but with no torsos, floating heads of angels ***** but crying and smiling. Asking Angelina "What would you like today miss?" or "What are you after?", beckoning for her requests, begging for her touch of vulnerability and lack of knowledge of where she was or what she needed.

"Just an application...I heard you all were hiring?"

"Hiring!!!?" the cupid heads screamed in unison.

"You want to become one of us?"

"Yes, part-time...?" Angelina said hesitantly.

As soon as the words "part" had been uttered from Angelina's wise and brave mouth the many heads of cupid began spinning and spinning around Angelina's body. Faster and faster they spun until Angelina herself was spinning with them, unified in a quadruple hurricane stripping her of her former self and slowly manipulating her body, her hair, her other self into her new self.

As Angelina's torso lay in the corner of the store un-bloodied, clothes tattered as well as some scratches  on her elbows from the toss, Angelina's head was floating in the perfect center of the other three hovering cupid heads.

"How beautiful...how beautiful...how beautiful."

"Isn't it?" the three cupid heads answered.

"Yes, everything here is so beautiful," the four of them whispered.

And as soon as Angelina had entered, she just as soon had left.

END

Morning brought no diagnosis to the diagonal precision of the perspective in a multitude
In turn, I took the turn, and another, until I was with myself
Hello. Yes. Myself, my, I am here.
Let me be for a moment, without thought for the future.
There was a sound down the road.
My mother called my name.
That was not it.
Pressing my palm to languid concrete I foresaw the absence of my love for a country that would never - could never - love me.
Why.
Money loves money for money, not for the money getters heart.
I thought of Prague and when life was that much rawer.
Imagine life relived and simply seeking it without the jaded veal.
Gaze into the river.
Gaze into the sea.
It roars and laps without ego - solely action.
History is nothing but man's time, man's order, man's anxiety

To prove life - thus worth it.

Nature needs no validation.

Is is Is.

The romance of rotations night
Is in
It's indifference

I feast on the stars sovereignty

Wanting only to idolize

And to one day

Mimic.

I am a procrastinator

A spawn
Of I want
And I need

Generation.

Give me when I want.

Take when I need.

Imagine patience.

Imagine craft.

Imagine appreciation
For such things.

To create within
Such confines
Only creates further division
Of intellect and tiers
Of society.

Another division.
Another sect.
Another spectrum.
Another class.
Another percentage.
Another moment when we "thought"
We got so close to unity

But
This
This
And this

Just didn't quite get us there.

What a shame

Of the

Inevitable.

I make love laugh
And
Sickness
Sad

Push e
And I'm here
Outside yourself with you though

That the last fear
Was a hidden

Sea
of
See's

That are
With me
With me
With

Me

Through the tolling rake

As long as you don't care as much about me
As I do about

You.

And still,

We Search, with or without you.

Always with you.

A kind note

From an old friend

Is something that

Can take your faithlessness
In all of it
And turn it all
Right on its
***

For when I read

These kind

Planned

Or

Unplanned

Lines of day to day life

I see
They see
The same crippling sea

Of pain and
Poverty

Out there as well as
Inside here

What that means to me
I can't say

But to share on the page

Simply
And plainly

On living
On fighting
On loving and
On losing

Sharing what it means

Just to be

There were sights seen
That never may have been
For the hours spent last night
Were throats held oh so tight

Lo' mystery if you fade
Leaving far away or into a pile of hay
The world where we eat, were we sleep, where we love
Will wheeze like a dying man's cough

Sure ain't worth a ******* living ****
When roller-coasters outside are still roasting
And everyone around you is still toasting
Left alone with a gun but not a rovin' sun

So sitting back with a belly fully of slack
And minutes seeming like hours while a lover looks sour
Remember or forget
That our time will soon be met

These good times on stagnant cable, TV, and feeling stable
May surely come spit in your eye
The green grass out your door will soon be looking brown'
And the forgetful neighbors you smiled upon
May soon be getting outta' town

And the lost that are thrown unto streets they never knew
Will soon be seeing the torrents of an unseen ocean's blue
Where gulls sneeze with majestic justice and royalty
A graveyard larger then the eye has ever seen

A tantric gaze magic in its own numbing tease
A breath that kept me away but still looking
Knowing that the chef inside is still cooking
Feeling that the lady in my bar tonight is dressed in grey

Uptight in my thoughts but loose in my foot
Let me linger towards you with eyes of curious goo
A flick of a finger led me to five bucks broker
I knew from her tough smile tonight I was the joker

The leaves that crinkled underneath our drunken feet
Took us to a narrow part of town somewhere around two
The moon above us shone bright and shone a light
That I never felt before and no longer made me feel sore

She peeked at my eye as I peaked at hers
Grinning shyly she said, "The name's Lily"
I laughed out loud quick, drowning in my own bewilderment
"That's my favorite flower!, in the Moonlight with a Lily!"

The night went on
Just like the song
And I lost her in the end
Cause of a notecard I never sent'

My father:
Big-bellied
Black hair
Stupid grin but
Can beat your *** in pool
Any ******* day,

Sent me a Youtube video
About preventing myself
From
******* myself.

I said,
I am his son,
In guilt,
In shame,
In what should I believe.

He told me,
It's not what I meant.
It's not
What I meant to send.
But a ****
Not matter that the ******
Is always the ******
No matter the man
Or the ****.

He said
I said
I love you

Because death, however
Irrelevant within the actual
Constructs of
Remembrance,
Still feels sentimental (a tribal
Feeling based on Geneology
that the GODS no longer care about)

Yet we write
Through it all
With one hand naked
And another lax
Limp **** naked
Flailing for soverignty

And then
The moment dropped

Like a handful
Of blood splattered marbles

On the floor she screamed out
"Get me the HELL out of HERE!"
We rushed through the door
Down rotting stairs
Out to my car which couldn't start

Starlight lit her frozen grey face
Legs shook with a stones grace
The red car revved in roaring
Ruining our **** poor chance
Of love and all its small revival

On the road

I got it

To work

The road signs curled past
The stop lights the same
America's way
Of keeping us controlled and
Sane

All of that
Mattered nothing to me
Then

Life's preciousness was sitting
Right in my lap
Her eyes looked up at a sky
She feared

She would never see again

In the hospital
Through the gate
Past the guards
Dodging dual fate

I was stopped by arms
Not my own

Wheeled away
To fill out work
With pencil a bend
And a mind past hurt

8 hours I sat
Next to tweaked out bumpkins
Former school yard friends
Clicking my lead
And gripping insanity as if
Dead

She never came out
She never pushed through the
Double doors

I received the news
And I've been weeping
Every day
Every year

Far beyond the memory

Her mocking voice clear,

"We'll live forever, I promise my dear."

The censors are in
And the mad houses
Have been unlocked
For the carnival

Friends and former
Lovers embrace your
Bodies and watch the
Clouds billow in the distance

For the background is
Always more beautiful
Then the horrid
Foreground

Not in this hour
But the next there
Will be social
Justice!

There will be a fire
To be put out that
All the masses of the
World can see and
Truly understand and
Articulate!

As of right now,
SGT. BECHER is
Blasting his horn in my
Right ear, causing
Blood hemorages of
Every type and sort

But what of love!

What of pure hate!

What of a human race
Born into INHUMANITY

Legions of snarling dogs
Licking their chops for
The next fix that will COME
But not
SUFFICE

Consumption is a word
No one
Will's to understand

Small has always
Equaled weak

And the born strong
Will never back peddle

In evolution

It just

Isn't

Done

So to abide the wealthy
Warmongers piling
Ammunition on top of
And inside their
Grandmother's brazers!

Is to let them win a
Game they were meant to
Win ANYWAY

Roads were meant to be walked on
Mountains meant to be conquered
But people,
What were we
Meant to do
With

Ourselves?

When I go through my mind
Of the days past events
The days
Past experience
I sometimes think nothing has happened at all
Honks horns home and humming
Were all things to past the time
A time
That at the time did not seem to important
A head nod to a pretty lady
With eyes that would melt even the sun
That would ******* the world's strongest man
That would have Zeus stuttering for a number
Because
Where the God's falter
Men are born
Men flourish
Men believe they are victorious
What a hock
Of steaming
****
A fable is born from the naive minds of man
That tells them
With warm milk on the night stand
That these "achievements" are grand and reputable
That the difference is in the pudding
Yes
We have advanced quite a bit seen some things spoken some crude beauties
But what of the mountain in Parnassus
Where the dancing devils flute in hand played music
That no man, when heard, could stand
Where the beauty, where the sound, where the majesty
Was just to great to bear
Madness draws the one's that hear
The see
That touch
And that breathe
This beauty in
But it is a poison
It is a poison that makes fellows
Chop their fingers off
Eat paint
Walk head high into a river
Drink themselves to death
Waste away in some bed
But now
We praise the ones that create
Blood splattered portraits for the blind
We applaud the fuel man for the rising flame of the illusion of the human ego
And we love it
We adore it
We need it
We are addicted to
Ourselves
And we don't even know it;
Yet

Over the top of my head flies what has never been said
These were the things I sit to wait with you to discuss
The late night frights of the hot wet nights
After the fall of the lonesome droll wall
White with posters unseen blinking flourescent moon rock scents
An imagining of the image seeking men with their plans
Upside down I hang with my feet gently danglin'
Enough heart here to **** us all
But there was use use imagining since it'd all been done before
Lost through these streets that can't wait to hate
With the trees rustling and the people with hats a' shuffling
Yes' too many hard mornings with empty hands of hair
Graveyards wave to the hoofbeat plaster seats
They were the one's that lived once but now no more
Your the one I fell in love with yesterday
But today I don't know to say only "No more"
Enough pain in this place to make a man obsessed with his gain
So much sorrow here all one can steal rather then borrow
Ideal absentees jot down plans while sipping their tea
Dirt covered wagons hover on each and every season
Upholstered expensive season fancies itself once again
Money made is money paid and soon to drift away
The heart and its heft only knows how to produce the theft
Tell me lady, how did we end and find the strength to begin again?
Was I too fast or too slow or was there something I didn't know?
Could it be that I ain't supposed to be with thee?
That the road is the smoke in all of our ears?
That these houses with their horses is nothing but silent voices
Captain commando plans for his great victory
While I'm lazing around thinking about the magic of the sea
Cannon ball splash makes all the white ladies dash
Toward the door that, to their surprise, is no more
Dementia delinquets spent all their cash on someone they don't love no mo'
Hysteria heart break with metal newspaper clippings on the side
Who's that one over there?, she sure is sitting pretty
Straight laced with a fierce heart I could tell right from the start
Another program for the sea at large we ain't ever gonna be in charge
Too many miseries here makin' the men see stars
There were things that happened due to the river roar
But now I'm asking how to give myself a little more
Receiving nothing back or what to spend my time with
What to get to know
Chilling chastisement of a separated state that begun at the bar
Hurt from the start but thats alright cause tomorrow will come which always seems to be
Just another shot in the dark

connected by nothing
speaking to no one
time passing through itself
folding in on itself
Allowing oneself to breathe
Allowing oneself to let go
Allowing oneself to admit
that they will never fully no
the magazines that have been read
have been burning all this time
the drinks have been drunk
the drunks in their tanks
people asleep
are now awake
form is no friend
of
mine
i asked her out
she bought
expensive wine
whispers shivered naked across the cambridge lawn
i fell in love
with a damp and sullen log
connected
disconnected
in love
out of love
we are are different every minute
every second
thoughts that were once there
are there again
but in a different way
no mind has seen itself in the mirror
and it never will
as the bee buzzes
wings press themselves desperately, immaturely
forever in mourning
sour **** forlorn & burning
so you said I was crazy?
and then what did you do?
I cast a net into a white sea when no one was looking
and cried the rest of the day
because I knew to be understood
was to die all over again
only to be born again
in a world
where nonsense is the norm
and normal
is obscene & fat
and full of goose's wearing rose colored hats of hate
where broken bats blink blindly in deep caves
forgotten terraces where lover's broke themselves
in sand dune dixie cups illiterate unfortunates
whining wino's wish they were richer
and teacher's that fell in love
with knee capped teenage blisters
pencil pusher's punish themselves
for a lack of ill received love funds
Molly H. laughs like a fairy in a tale we all know
and we see coffee sprouts
while women cry in full pout
out of control
our world and out of it
the glimmer of a women's eye
is a man's only true prize
dazed in a haze of lack luster filibuster
a man released
is a man soon to be in death's seat
for the moon is nothing but a sliver of white light
when you sit alone on a dark black beach
with lapping waves, mind in full craze
and a conversation and corruption of love's maze
could it be?
could I see?
what it feels like to believe in life's magic tragicness
where fashion is to be naked
and nakedness is to die and be replaced by the computer
our own demise
was the mind's first ideal prize
dead from the beginning
solitude and a prize for 1st but never winning
tell grandma in spanish that I loved her
i see her face smiling, tired, and dead
i wish i could have seen her wed
but i wasn't there
i was gone
somewhere else saying i don't belong here
i don't see the sky
i don't see the waves
i don't believe in a truth seer's eyes
im not believing in me, I'm not believing in anyone
i see the sun, i see the fun, i see a fat ladies buns
but then i know i ain't around for the after party
or the after after party
i just see the rhythm in the earth
faster then i can see someone else pouring their milk
and the smile a woman you never met
but you know you've seen her before
the flick of a lip ring
the sing of a sing song ping
where the pong is fast then the ping
yeah you know about the last thing?
but wait
we've been waiting for so long for you baby
and i tell'er that were almost there
the sky ain't the limit and the limit ain't the ticket
where the neighbor says theirs trouble
but then when i think about it
i can't quickly say
but i know i'll leave and i don't know if I'll love again
or be jealous again
or hate again
or laugh again
but i tread through the hate, the seeds of black dust
the orange blossoms that come every day, every month
i carry on for the word not for myself
i ain't a martyr, i was never a good starter
for the milk man does his work
and the writer writes his words
and the roads are paved
and the teacher's teach the little one's
how to behave
but me
i didn't get much schooling
i was too busy fooling
with the back road marquees of a movie theatre
that was never meant to be
and i watched throughout the night
wonderin' to myself
how i got into this mess and who's fault was it
but it wasn't anyone's fault
just a miss hap, a hoax
so take no naps till day break
why can't some people take a joke?

Curtain tailed
Without a tale
Up in scale
There ain't nothing to tell

I fell in love
And fell right out of love
What can you say to a dove,
That dreams of the above?

Holy holes in clouds of white
Nothings alright when you force the right
Tell me lady what street name
Is not already maimed?

We are the lost yesterdays
Of a stray dog we could never name
Last night all we could do was fight
Tonight all we do is hold tight

Lost a year past the near of my fear
For there's nothing real to peer past the pier
You were the one I would forever hold dear
Till' you told me love was nothing but a rottin' steer

Hours are nothing but the past in mourn
Graves are for diggers never shiver my timbers
Fire burns when you do want it to
Don't ever call again nor say you'll see me soon

No these are the times of sorry forgotten bottom
Of a worry that I never wanted to know
Yes these are the times of sorry forgotten sorrow
That I couldn't bear to keep in sow

So walk on past the crescent high dawn
There's nothing but peace apart from the ****** fawn
Grass was green when we were apart from thee
Tell me that you'll forever let me be

Clouds crowd themselves for they are lonesome
We spread out for we already know ourselves
Death screams I am nothing but what you already know!
Say out loud we are the lambs we scream an' blow!

Last night the night fell hard
Stars red faced and bare named themselves tards'
The dirt said they were the ones already here
What can you say that you've truly bared?

To have no control
Of the mold
Letting hands take
The torso
The legs
The buttocks
The ears and the
Eyes

I transform
By their hands or
Mine?

A passing train whispers
Mortal temptation
A simple childish step
And I am old news
And unnecessary tears
We grow so sentimental
When death occurs
To say goodbye is a
Very human tradition

Uphill do I notice a struggle
Or is it downhill that relief is granted?
Are either truly a hardship
Or is the entirety of it so?
Which way to turn to at this age?
Always running to another stage.
The same breath pours out from me gray
A friend breaks it off after four years
And she has very little to say
I can't blame her after a stab like that
Some boys aren't meant to stay in love

And though these invisible hands
Are unseen as I say
I still feel them, prodding, kneading,
Controlling me
There are many hands at work for all of us
Which ones do you feel at night, in the day,
At the table, when your lover is away?
Are these the fingers of fate or of destiny, or
Are they revealing to be one's own insecurities?
A red meat wagon whistles by and
My girl, my lady, my blueberry pie
Asks, "When we will have breakfast and why?"

I tell her, "There is no such thing as time for us
Because it is just so ****** vast. To see time is normal
And to feel time is too, but to be in time, live in time,
Is the constant push to merge with the present."
Insanity in an uncle and a dead priest on the road
A burning building smiles while the unclaimed family
Goes forth on an empty mile. Our trials
Our misfortunes are the hands that bind and mold us.

Be the clay
On the pedestal
But never
Harden
Never dry
Stay moist
Stay wet

Never be afraid to change
And live the next day
Another way.

Dead plains
Open air
My baby, my K,
Smells of lavender petals,
Defined despair.

A known
Vowel howls
Like she does at night.
Turning right she lights
All former antiquities
Prove wrongful due regularity.

A pressing matter topples
Next to the standing tower of rubble.
Grey stubble tumbles
Like hours out of the hands of a clock.
A kaleidoscope of horror
Makes the mind entrenched in narrow.

She tells me the name
Of a former lover of another
That pressed no buttons, rubbing
Everything
The wrong way.

We compare, we see a sea of troubles
Illuminating nothing but the past,
Never meant to be free.  

Trees shallow swinging singing
Like scythes across the yard.
Burgundy yarn weaves through my heart,
Cold as you were today,
I got nothing else to say.

Pressing matter, dear dead hatter.
Craziness is a beauty
Only the Cleopatra's of the world
Have to truly suffer.
Cradle me naked, cradle me dreamed',
Ain't no love like the
Broken sick and broken hearted'.

At least the darkness
Harkens thee dead ghosts of
Former lives forgotten.
Grey gravestones smell like
Roses given my former lovers;
Each hour with her is
One that will never be forgotten.

Present pasts pass me in the
Mirror; these shop windows are all colored
Green.
Caretaker saint, apple apricot skate, a
Note for the doctor stating
All is forgiven, all is about.

I remember the dream,
Shallow and filled with steam.
Fine patent leather, stitches and cream.
She pressed her face to mine,
Like silk string woven into seams.

Nothing is the matter.
Nothing passes the time.
Dylan hurls the harpsichord,
Gripping the nails,
Repositioning the boards.

The ice was to thick to climb,
The snow to heavy to see through.
Where you see your life is
What you think you can do.

Books on fire.
Trains of heavy steam.
Life is nothing but
An unforgettable dream.

Stopped alone
In a place unknown
Look to the sky
Hesitate to ask why
There are so many mysteries
That are lost to the sea
There are some many riddles
That to many mean ******
Seeing minds rotate but never stopping to think
False stimulation, false love, false believing
A man in a mirror with a face but no heart beating
A thousand ways to end but never start
Hard drinks deal with hard times
Easy ways with easy lives
The medium is what we all seem to loathe
But in many ways are forced to embrace
A thousand words to the women I tried to love
None to the one's I never met
All to the one I love now
Presently presents its mirage like an invisible sphinx
A blast of light that blinds some
Kills others
Does nothing to perhaps no one at all
Apologies are letters combined
Easier to communicate
Then a feeling
Off and away my mind speaks out of crimes pain
Don't know it but the ink has dried
I've already blown it
A soft wail is heard in the far distance
I look north, to see the migrating herd

Through the mazes of piecing this puzzle together
Using excuses to validate my dreary actions
Lifting tabs to get away
From the trust of living this way

I remembered a year when I smiled more
Looked at things with a cautious eye
Somehow always caught in
An uneventful swirling death lunge

Past through time never looking back so soon will I die
And hope is just a four letter word that taught me to lie
Now I don't dare to hesitate a wink
Which keeps my mind right on the brink

Am I writing for the man playing in the communal square?
Or are there plans that are known but unbeknownst to me
Searching for a seat that I can call mine and mine only
There's got to be a reason to keep on with this emotional treason

Twisting through her curls reminded me
Of why I still go on rhyming
With a touch that changes everyday
Just like the rising and setting sun

Hot in the hours while we fight like barking dogs
Trying to make each-other bacon much like those dying hogs
Performances for our own secluded undignified stance
Oh what idiots we can be, women and men in the fire dance

Captured with a mind that lays still inside
Cool as the dying winters wind, slow as the creeping grey fog
Divine at times, if you believe in those type of things
Splitting hairs while a woman walks by looking fair

Telling are the whispers that fly away from me
Towards another whose ears may or may not be open
But don't despair, oh no don't despair
Soon that wind may be landing in your hair

And I ask myself, I ask us all, I ask the roaring dancing ball,

What will you write
When you are dared?

Soon, the lights will dim
Soon, the moon will flash - snapping lightbulb
Keep close, the sight will be gone soon

When she said she was leaving
I had nothing to say
The door opened
The door shut
And the wind whipped the jagged rocks
Of the tumultuous bay

Bags beneath the eyes
Chicken feet for hands
Attention to detail
Getting me nowhere

Nights spent staring through bent glass
Grass bending like uncertain love
Promises so fragile and flawed like we are
A last request for the ******

And when tests turn temperatures south
Mouth puckering due to dryness
The ocean weeps tears of ignorance
Wondering why it was born with so much power

Painted moon silver terrace cast in slivers
Procrastinating beauty, you are the skyline
Forever, never ending, never dying
Eternally sleeping while awake and dreaming

A fresh start
A new day
An absent smile
A backwards glance

To take this dance underneath black match sky
A man away from wife tethered to a lie
Even work loads bury the mind in material temptations
The ink-less pen drops into man's need for manifestations

Yet, through the solid sheets of grey Bay mist
I continue to trample over the cold sidewalks kiss
Seeking no end, I hold no beginning
An unmarked grave with no need for saving

Over the hill and through the trees
The river runs west towards the ocean.
And I saw the white froth; the tips of the waves;
Their edges a sharpened razor and butcher blade;
And witnessed a place not be controlled,

Only obeyed.

At 1:04 we praise
Nothing
But
The mind for staying
Here

With us.

Imagine the loss of thought
Loss of inquiry
Loss of doubt or back peddling

If I lost the ability to question
And mistake
I would lose the task to progress
And preserve.

A moon has nowhere to go
But orbit and love has nothing to do
But be affirmed, to be challenged, to be
Cascaded with blown plums and fresh ***.

I'm here, we're here

Are you?

Everyday
As I am lifted from
The depths of
Bullet transportation

Up
And
Out

To the busy city street
Leading me to where
I'm supposed to go

The word Conveyor Belt
Comes to mind

Every face
The same
As the day before

Clouds white and stained
Stupid, unworthy pillows
That the angels won't even touch -
They prefer that Tempurpedic stuff

Expensive taste
Those angel's have

God must have
Rubbed off on them

The belt spins
The bolts are stainless
Shining naked like a
New born baby in the
Sacramento River sunlight

The oil thicker
Than the first mud of Earth

Thicker than one-hundred faceless
Soldier's blood
Mixed to perfection
With sympathy and
Black newspaper ink

Thick as the human heart
In its final moments

The last three beats
Echoing loud like the screams
Within the insane asylums and
Delivery rooms:

Buh-bump,

Buh-bump,

Buh-bump.

Then,
At long last,

Silence

My hand moved
Through the space toward
An intangible, infinite wisdom
Where things
Were and weren't what they seemed.
Are things
Always like that?

My body followed my hand
Steadfast linking mind
To mood through emotion.
I could not keep myself
From falling, so I fell.
To fall is merely another step
Towards new life.

My left foot inside of my boot
Held me up, as well as my right hand.
I caught myself before the land.
Breath escaped as my heart beat
Back and forth in there, in the rib cage,
Like a startled bird, my grandmother's bird,
A bird too free to be.

There I waited, after falling,
For four years, until
I fell
Again yet, this time,
I would be falling
Upward, away from the past towards
A rebirth of sorts.
Too bad I never thought I was that important.

It could have been

A really
Big

Deal in

Some Circles.

I guess
We'll just
Wait and

See

An old drunk
Walks up to
A new drunk

You know what?
The old drunk asks.

What?
The new drunk replies
From the side
Of his mouth
Not paying much attention.

Rimbaud,
The old drunk says.

The new drunk
Stands, cracks his knuckles,
And shoves
The old drunk
Back a few steps.

The new drunk kicks his shins and
Calls him names
He's always been called.
They still sting.
There's a spit
In every eye followed up
By a curse
That will last far past
Either of their lifetimes.

The old drunk,
Bloodied by words
And stupid starlight,
Manages to say,

Thank you, son.
I needed that
To remember.

a

knock

propels the eye
to see

what it could not see

in dreams.

the cave
is

deep.

some lifetimes
most lifetimes

cannot widen its mouth.

to step out
to stretch wide
to feel the grass
and the sand

leaves one
with no other option

but to use one's own feet

to stand.

the walls of support are gone.

Night fell
And we witnessed the brilliance of man's folly,
Every note falling in deciduous perfection;
Even prayers can be lost.

The stars flashed on,
The sun was nowhere to be found, and
And the moon belched like a drunken pirate,
Bending the trees and sending their leaves
Skyward, off to wherever they go.

There was a whisper
Between the blades of grass
We laid on.

There was a worry
Clouding over you
That told me there
Was to be more.

Candy cane fragrance
With a dash of cinnamon salt.

Grinning through the darkness,
We touched palms like children,
Caught in that blue jay dance.

Morning came like mist over a hill.
Our eyes fluttered open and close.
She rose first, then I rose with her.
We met by the window and looked down on the street,
Both of us feeling the fleeting of a feeling.

Secondary rituals over coffee and pastries.
The sun came through that café window like a shotgun blast.
And when she paid and left,
A kiss on the cheek for cordiality,
She dropped a note that read "Until next time."

When you don't see another for some time,
You wonder what they came to be.
A periwinkle ***** of 5 cents a pound,
Or a river lady loon that sang without a sound?
The maze has many turns, until you reach the end.

Those monsters
Under your bed,
Their color's shining
Ox blood purple and red.

They told me your name.
They scribbled your address.
They want what you have.
They're wondering why your'e so stressed.

When she came by the place again,
I wasn't home, so she dropped me another note.
This one had only one word:

HI

I can't lie.
I was quite
Surprised.

I thought she
Would have
Less to say.

Two days past.
A knock on my door.
Moon light's *******
Stretched into my
Living room window.

My couch held her like an egg in a carton.
Toad colored hat latched around her head.
Hair covering her eyes, her mouth, her broken nose.
She wore orange flip flops, wiggling her toes.
A zit planted in the middle of her forehead like white rose.

She asked why I hadn't called her.
I told her that I didn't have a number.
She talked about her soon to be dead father.
I sat down to listen, thinking of my forgotten brother.
We talked with a space between us for a long time.

When she began to cry, she came to me,
Like a bee to a flower or a fly to fresh ****.
I felt her hand on my chest and her breath in my left ear;
There's no guilt like the wicked
And there's no faith like the religious kind.

Hand in a hold.
Love is a recyclable mold.

The tattered priest protects the walls
Of his splintered sanctuary.
Every dream had
Is another man's
Discarded memory.

Oh my sins, my sins,
Where should I begin?

When you're born to lose,
There's no thought to win.

6 months past
And still, she came.
Our love for one another
Was a knot
I couldn't untie.

A year past
And the stars and the moon
Were a cure that
Blanketed our child, our family.

Living our days out,
Mixing poison and penalty,
Running from a life
That showed any shred of reality.

Buried side by side
Underneath a bent orange tree,
I died one day,
She dying the other.

We use the leaves of Fall
For cover,
And the blossoming buds of Spring
For something
To reach for.

When I say the maze is long
And that the hours are heavy,
I meant not for your blankets to fall cold
Or for your room to awash with darkness.

She came to me that day,
Just like someone will come for you.
And I had no choice,
But to attune.

Candied black licorice.
Hair made of silk.
Memories mix dissolve meetings
Of love's labor of leering.
A warning between the moons.

She said her name in a whisper.
I knew by her eyes that I couldn't keep her.
Nightingale look razor strap barren.
Secrets between two torn in caring.

A can full of roses.
Dog dares in a moment.
Build me a fire
With two seats and the stars
We can look off in the distance
Not caring how far.

Since then I've never been able to hold
A thought longer then three seconds.
Leafing through these worn pictures,
Seeing these faces red and blistered,
I try to recall what I was feeling back then,
And what letters I wrote and what I didn't send.

Cabin alone up on the mountains *****
I take my canister and my four foot rope.
The sun's behind me, big and bright.
Gotta' make camp before the fall of the night.

When my name was misery, everyone knew me.
When my name was love, not a soul did.
When my name was honor, no one even bothered.
When my name was jealously, everyone writhed righteously.

Telling doorman upset by the Autumn;
He says it is too cold for him.
I - taking the things from its pockets -
Offer him my black, woolen pea coat.
He huffs and puffs and leaves,
Without even a word being spoke.

A simple sentence can change the world.