Mom wanted to do
The hike

She had smiles

Her hair was up and
She had a water bottle

Mother was, is, a beacon of purity
A myth of anti-anxiety
A presence of oppurtunity

She sits with her feet folded
Curious about dinner
Wondering about the night

I question
To myself
How she feels
About burying her mother
At 24.

When we met
We met

I'm naked
And with question

Jealous
Of infinity
You get to dance
Within

I'm with you though ma'
Through the failures
And the winners

Remember the nights
Of curtains
And the laughs
Of forgetfulness

We can believe each other
That everything was going to be us
That everything was going to be
A family that was believed in

Then
You fell

Then
You slipped
And I saw your
Untouchable soul
Become Human

Terror

Helpless

You tried to tell me
It was OK
As you bled
From you fingers
The nails
You choked mama

Then,

I ran home
I ran panting, terrorized, ultimatum

I'd never seen you
In such pain

My mother
My original
My beginning

I ran for you
And called who I needed
To called

Shaking at the stairs
Confused at the pain
Screams of agony

Tearing at the sheets
As everything that had made sense
No longer
Did

Touched the handrail.
Coughed a second.
Rob told me he was meeting me.
Nowhere to be found.

I smoke a cigarette
Cause I'm in New York
But I don't smoke.

I'm happy
With a break
That she's happy.

Today I met a man
That meant a man
Would be someone
They'd believe in

I'm out of touch
With touch
So touch
Is a weaponized
Reciprocate
Of false will

Making stories
For

******.

Stepping back from her
Wide eyed beauty
There is something there
I'm in the dark
She's chewing on snacks

After

3 AM.

Wild past presents
We are the dead eyed chompers
Making
Believe
That we are special

We are special

I'm the last ******
The solo adventure
The beauty
Of the absolute

We talk
Towards smiles
We know
We'll never solve each other

Smile

I'm in love

I am buzzed

I listen to the chatter
Of socially inept humans

With nice shoes.

The fog is thick and

I'm wondering

Where the chips are.

Also,

I'm in love.

Sunday and
The dogs are at
Mothers

Cedar floors are silent
Serenity churns with isolation
As a thin fingered fog
Toys with my
Eggshell colored
Window curtain

A brain is a burden
And a gift
Mines neither
Mines a tool

A tool for an elusive being
Let's call her: Angel
Demon
God's right hand
Gabriel's spear
Mose's sandals
The Devil Wears Nothing

Consciously and not,
I go in waves of
Liking myself, my brain

For I tend to hold malevolence
Towards something
I cannot control fully

Take, for example, these keys
This screen
These rules
Our hierarchy of narrative
Plot, character, dialogue, and tension.

Catharsis.

Have you ever seen a water spout?
I have.
It's kind of like that.

Some days,
I feel the holy unbridled, transference
Of The God's goodwill

Others,
Simply silence.

I've yet to decide
When
           I'm
                Happier

I was there
Beneath it all
Stubbing my nose
Catching my eyes
On the most soulful of gifts

There was a promenade
Then music
A chef in a tall white hat
Shouting at the top of his lungs
As cracked eggs
Desperately tried
To reimagine themselves
As whole again.

They did not wish to change.

I am a poem
And I am nothing

I am a man
And I am nothing

I am a before
Yet to embark
On an after

Could this be it?

I think of
What could have been
If I had done this
If I had done that
And switch
Paralyzed.

The horizon
Fades at dusk

And is reimagined
At dawn

How I wish
I were content
To be ok
With such a simple

Routine

Progress
Achievements
Recognition
Advancement
Aw­ards

Realization

The ***** turns to tighten
To hold
Only to rust
Be forgotten
Put in the back of the pantry
Read from afar

The days of the sun
Are over

Darknesses lengths
Are upon us

Taste of the hubris of the moon
Its position is fixed
Such a fact, such a reserved space

Where will the moon go
But anywhere
But here?

And of us?
Where will our bones go?
Our me minds?
Our fleeting psyche?

The I is none other
But the billionth petal
Of a flaming sunflower
In a field
Surrounded by the identical

Taste ash
Mixed with honey
As the buzz of the bees

Fade.

Night stole the day
Okay
Borrowed, I'll say.

The window
Tricks me
Sometimes

I look out it
See out it
Breathe out it
If I'm feeling
Stoic

Full of ****

The usual

Street though
That's where the fun is
That's where the action is
That's where people
And choice
Live

Maybe that's why
Anybody looking for something
Anybody looking for danger or
Love or
Mystery or
Pain or
Danger
Or or or
Anything

Moves to the city

All those streets
All those alleyways
That
Lead to more streets

Streets are the heart is
The heart of the contradiction of man
We winged' mortals
Clipped and
Searching

For a new pair

Maybe I can find
A used pair

Maybe I'll find it

By accident

Say -

Maybe that's all we are?

Beautiful,

****** up n' Doomed,

Accidents.

When it's
Good,

It's not.

When it's
Bad,

It's malleable.

When it's
Nothing,

It's time to get to work.