The flow
Is just
Gonna' go
As it

Goes.

There's too little to connect to with
When one should
Be
Shooting for
With this
Literary
Stuff.

It's exhausting.
It's pointless.
It's projects read
And praised with
Awards shouted from the
Mountain Top!

But, what then...?

A movie deal?

A TV screen?

What is the great American novel
But
An adapation?

For a reallly good

Screenplay?

What then?

What next?

Who next?

Who, cares?

If you,
Are at the bottom,
The only place,
Is to go,
Is to the top.

The notes,
The words,
The sound,
Are there -

Reach Reach Reach -

And,

You'll get there.

Just tell me the truth, Evie said.
I closed my eyes and turned my head toward the window.
The brightness of the sun turned my black vision a warm orange-red.
Evie said something else but, I didn't catch it.
What? I asked.
Tell me the truth, she said again, more demanding.
The truth?
Yes. Heard of it?
Yeah, I nodded, debating whether I should start ******* with her or keep it serious. Keep it serious? I asked myself. But why?
But I hear it's a very rare thing. I took a sip of my beer and placed it gently back on its coaster.
I don't have to **** around with you anymore. Did you cheat on me or did you not?
I did.
Evie inhaled, exhaled, and then stood up.
Where are you going? I asked her. I didn't stand up because I was pretty sure she wouldn't slap me if I was sitting down. I didn't want to cause a scene. Ron's Diner was my favorite place for coffee in LA.
Where am I going? she sighed. Where the **** do you think I'm going?She took two dollars out of her Dolce Gabana wallet and flicked them on the table. They fluttered in the air for a moment then fell onto the table.
Language...I whispered, looking around the diner.
Ron wasn't there, but Wendy - his wife - was putting some bear claws on a large plastic platter by the register. She'd been giving us  the eye since we sat down. It seemed she could tell we were going to be trouble. Her rhinestone glasses glittered from the light coming in through the blinds. It was rush hour downtown. The car exhaust and the heat seemed to be pouring in from every crack in the building.
Sit down, I told Evie.
Why the hell should I?
You're not mad. I can tell. You don't even like me enough to really be mad at me. Sit down.
We've been dating six months you *******. When should I start getting the respect I know I deserve, Ave? In another six months?
Lower your voice, yeah? Sit down and let me order you some food. What do you want?
Evie bent down and looked at the menu. I relaxed and stopped worrying about a scene starting. She ran her finger down the appetizers and while I watched her do this, I remembered she never ordered appetizers in the six months I'd been taking her out, even when I was paying.
You looking at the appe...
Evie gripped the cup of ice water sitting on the edge of the table and threw it all - water and ice - in my face.
One more ****** ******* meal with you at this ****** ******* diner and I'd put a bullet up my ****** and pull the ******* TRIGGER!
Evie whipped the empty plastic cup onto the floor. It skipped, jumped, and slid all the way to the front door. Just as it was about to hit the door, Ron walked in. The cup slid right between his legs and out onto the sidewalk.
What the hell...? Ron said trailing off. He looked over his shoulder at the cup now in the middle of the street then at Wendy.
She shook her head and pointed at me. Evie was already out the door, brushing violently past Ron.
Ave! Ron shouted, Ave, what the hell is going on here?
Ah, I sighed sitting back down, Just another one of my mistakes.
Go get my ******* cup! It's in the middle of the street!
I walked down the aisle, passing hunched over regulars mumbling nonsensical judgments while sipping on their coffee, cream and Splenda, buttered toast, biscuits and gravy, but slowed down when I tried to get around Ron. Wendy was standing cross-armed standing over the register. I looked over at her and stifled a laugh. Her glasses made her eyes appear three sizes too big. She was a real life cartoon character. I was about to run out into the middle of the street when a semi ran over the plastic cup. It exploded underneath the weight of the tire and millions of shards flew everywhere.
*******! Ron screamed from the door of his diner, You owe me a ******* new plastic cup! He was pointing his big hand at me. It was shaking.
I threw up my hands standing in the middle of the sidewalk. How much you want for it, Ron? How much does a plastic cup ******* cost?
Ron thought about it for moment and then said, Five. Five bucks for the cup and the trouble.
Fine, I said.
I walked back inside, finished my coffee, had another one, and then paid my tab with five extra on top. I'd only been in LA a year and this kind of **** was already pretty regular.

Up on the hill
She sits
Still
Up on the hill
She is tranquil
Drenched
In the ink
Of
Quills

He's paid his
Dues
He's paid his
Marks
Every duty followed through
Was begun by
Said
Spark

I knew
A
Lad

His hair
Was
Dark yellow

All I've ever wanted in this life
Was
To be left alone
And to be left
Mellow

She turned her
Head
She smiled
Her
Australian
Smile

Everyone's got a way
Around the world:

What's yours?

Poetry
Poetry
Poetry

Syntax woven
By the
Personal

Stuff
Dense,
But,
Not so,
Dense.

We,
Are the play,
On,
Words.

I,
Am dancing with, beneath, through the wind;

Come find me;

Come see me;

Come see, that I

Am

Real.

Apple tree
Singing in the wind
What to begin
When the end is so plain?

I'm a lost babe
With sometimes a lot
Sometimes a little
To say

Clouds of pink
Make me
Think
That what we had
Was never
Really
That bad

Streets are cobbled
You know
I don't belong here
Let me pack my bag
You don't need to help

I'm in love with you
There's nothing
I can do
I'm in love with you
Even if
You don't want
Me to

Let's take the car out
Let's take it all
The way out
Let's see the sea
As it rocks and rolls
Against the wetted' boulders
The ***** shoulders
Against the thin seaweed
The seagulls knees
Let's see the sea
As it rocks
And rolls on

Some will tell us
What to do
Others will try
To tell us
What to think
We've seen for ourselves
We've made
Our mistakes
Love is something
That takes a lifetime

To Break.

Three million cash.
That's enough
To fund a war,

For a day.

When I think of that
Kind of money, I first think about
What it does
To the mind, to the work, to

Everything.

There's still the same frustrations
Artistically, yes?
There's still the same void
Smiling and clicking its tongue, yes?

I'm attuned to my own mind
When I am free of distractions.
Money is like the devil
Flicking small pebbles at my bedroom window;
Like a lover in disguise.

Three million cash.

What changes then?
Would I be the same man?
Would I care,
For the same things?
What wishes would come true and
What nightmares?

I look within myself
To see
The outside world

Clearer.

It takes time, like
Everything.

But, it does
Take
Time.

So take it.

Take time
To look within for time
Is finite like:

The moon knows.
Like the snow.
Like the flowers know.
And as the wind
Does blow.

There is no tick,
Without,

A tock.

Sometimes life
Builds up to a point
Where you feel
You can't
Ever reach the top

Sometimes life
Rolls on ahead without yah'
Rambling so fast
Rambling so hard
You don't know if it's
Ever gonna' stop

Take a step sideways
Take a step back
Loosen your grip
Lessen the slack

The stars are burning phosphorous on the horizon
She's got that blood red colored hair
Listen as the moon laughs yellow and bronze
I'm only thinking about you darling
I'm thinking about what you said underneath the moon

Can it be our ship has sailed?
Can it be our letters have all been mailed?
I'm at a loss without you
I'm at a standstill with you
What do we need to do babe
To take this pain between us away?
What's there to do
When there isn't anything left to say?

I've got a nickel in my pocket
A quarter in my eye
Lately, every whisper I hear
Turns out to be a truth
I wished had turned out a lie

The world keeps turning
With or without us
The wind keeps blowing
Indifferent to our own opinions
If we're up to ***** or not

To die today.
To
Die tomorrow.
It really makes
No
Difference to me.

Concretes warm
Underneath my feet.
With shattered chandelier eyes,
She winks, beckoning me
To follow her to the vent.
I'm a mystery
I'm a fool
I've learned all I can
But I still don't
Have the tools.

It's all too serious.
I'm too late.
What was once clear is now
Opaque.
As I burn the letters we never wrote,
Outside my window is a boy
Who wonders what their life would have been
If he'd never spoke.

Searching again for that
Right
Note.
Standing on my tip toes
Neither hating or
Loving:

My neighbor
My brother
My sister
My mother
My father.

All the light through the blinds
Is blinding me.
Every sound I hear
Is a rumpus cacophony of half-promises
And incoherent swears.
I've made amends with my sin.

There, on the other side of the room, lies

The bin.

See to it it's empties,
Cleaned, and left back the way it was
Before you leave.

Absolute terror.
A knot of guilt and sadness tied
So tight,
It feels glued together;
You feel

Scared.

Eyes are languid,
Heavy, fluttering.
These voices all around me
Are unclear, muttering.

It's a day without a name. A saying
Without meaning.

It's a joke without a punchline. A prayer
Without hope.

It's a wish without a listener. A scream
Without fear.

It's thoughts,
Thoughts,
Thoughts.

It's my rambling mind
That pushes you, taking you
Away.

It's the things

We never wished

We'd said.

Since nothing
Can ever
Be taken back,

We all live with the
Choices

We've made.

Time is not a cure
For heartbreak or despair.
There's only the open road
And an uncapped bottle

Of E & J.

Alcoholic Romanticism.

The lipstick smears.
The cheap cologne.
The nibbled ear.
The ringing phone.

Instead of forgiveness,
Seek advancement.
Pursue closure.

Forget.

Forget the love you had and
Think of the love
You've got to give and
The love
You've got to take.

**** the time
Make your sign.

She said her name.
I laughed and said
It rhymed.

A wicked messenger walked
Through the swaying cardboard doors.
His teeth were as yellow as
Rusted over taxi cab doors. He walked with a gait
That told me he was heading somewhere an'
Couldn't wait.

"Listen to me," He said with a grin, reeking
Of a life of past sins, "I'm the enemy. I'm your man.
That's my woman you're sitting next to and," he
Bit his lip then clicked his tongue, "I want whats mine."

"Take her," I said. I looked at her smooth
Pale white shoulder, a red freckle on the tip of the bone,
"Take what you want."

He laughed.
I shot.

She stayed with me.