don't forget the strange lonely
chills you get at 5:15am
don't forget to look up the sky
for stars and for hopes
don't lose sight of the void
in your hearts and
your cold lone bones
don't forget those green
delicate veins under
your soft flimsy wrists
don't forget to leave those bleak
reflective yelling shards of glass
alone and out of sight
don't forget yourself
how you've stayed so strong
and even broke to pieces
don't forget you can finally
say that you are happy

Love is not a drug
Because that would imply that
Love is a bad thing

A whispered call to distant dreams,
  And sheltered baths in quiet streams.
The measure of a person's worth,
  My thoughts the minute after birth.
The bitter irony of a bitter end,
  A parting chuckle for a fallen friend.
Just ninety minutes in the sun,
  The breakfast of a lonely nun.

A symbol for the morning after,
  The memory of my father's laughter.
One season with no trace of water,
  The necklace that I never bought her.
Things I've said to peoples' pets,
  The hope on which I've hedged my bets.
An apology that's not been made,
  A favour I have not repaid.

The reason for a burst of anger,
  That one song I never sang her.
All forgiveness ever asked,
  All the glory in which I've basked.
All the wisdom I have earned,
  All the bridges I have burned.
And the finest of this short selection:
  The attainment of perfection.

For all the trinkets life has brought,
  There are many that I hadn't sought.
But as my tree keeps gaining rings,
  I must keep room for useless things.

the first thing i do
when i wake up
in the morning
is cry

the last thing i do
when i go to bed
at night
is cry

there are times
i do not count
anymore
during those times
in between
i cry

now i cry
and i no longer
no why
because there's
no reason
to cry
when there's
no
reason

"I just don't care anymore"
The words ring in my head
Like a scratched tape

She doesn't care
That she's hurting the ones she loves
Every time she touches the metal to her skin

I think I get through to her
But the next day,
All progress is lost

I don't know what hasn't been said
What details she's strategically left out
But I won't give up

I refuse to let her become like me
Pink scars across her skin
With no way to be completely put back together

I can't let her keep spiraling down
Getting closer and closer to rock bottom
Hitting down hard right next to me

I *know she can do it
She just has to want to get better
But what if when that time comes

*It's already too late?

I found something
I wasn't looking for it though

They were hidden carelessly
Next to your lighters and your getaway high

Why did you keep them?
What purpose do they serve you?

I counted them carefully
Nine, one less than whe you took them from me

I took one, and closed the drawer
What's one more going to hurt?

I promise I'll stop
Starting tomorrow

I want to trace the veins on your arms.
A map of where life goes on.

I want to trace the lashes against your cheeks.
Little fluttering (butterfly) wings on your face.

I want to trace your lips.
The softness I want to feel with my own.

I want to trace your cheeks.
Rub away the tears that have fell against it.

I want to trace your eyelids.
To feel the barrier, the beauty of your spirit hides behind.

I want to trace the prominence of your jaw.
That gives shape to your beautiful face.

I want to trace your shoulders.
Where the world sits upon.

I want to trace your fingers and the spaces in between them.
Interlock them with my own.

I want to trace the longness of your throat.
The beauty of a voice from where it erupts.

I want to trace the wideness of your chest.
To feel the beat of your heart under my fingertips.

All I want
is to dig you up
Push you out of my skin like oozing
pus, watch with intent and disgust as you
slither away from my desiccated corpse
I want you out of my head, I want you out of my
heart; I can feel the home I made for you in them
and that’s just it, it’s all my fault
I wanted this

It all flooded at me
and the floodwaters never fell away
Never ceased, constantly rising within my bones
Growing, reaching outward, mighty waves built
only to crash down upon a wavering shoreline
I did this all to myself in the end and you were just a part

This mess
is all mine to mop up,
so, I still cannot find all the words
to mend my own scars and I still
pick at the scabs and I still have not
found the right way to dispose of your dying memory
but it’s a start, a step that I’m taking to kick up some dust

I'm sorry
I just don’t think I can live with a definite noose around my neck
Ready to step off some creaky chair at every notion of
the lack of your affection

DDD
*(11/9/2013)

How can her smile be so bright
While her heart is so dark?
How can there be a twinkle in her eyes
While her body is full of marks?