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arubybluebird Apr 2014
I need you to love me like I'm wounded
In the darkness of my insecurities
hold me, kiss me, touch me,
fill my hollow organs with the shadows of your light.
arubybluebird Apr 2014
the trick is to keep breathing.
arubybluebird Apr 2014
I don't even want to imagine what life would be like without you.
arubybluebird Jan 2014
The sea is mimicking my loneliness.
I offer myself to the sea.
arubybluebird Jan 2014
...
and we rake the leaves
and we cage the birds
why are we so cruel?
arubybluebird Jan 2014
the culture club mix-tape section from nylon magazine completes me. sometimes I don’t feel like capitalizing the first letter to the first word of a new sentence. feelings can be so useless sometimes. I use the word sometimes too much. I think I am in love with Keaton Henson. I think I have a crush on one of my co-workers. I’d rather have a crush than be in love with you, it’ll last a while longer that way. I like coffee mugs, they are so comfortable to drink out of, they make me feel safe. I like it better when you’re warm, I want to give you warm feelings. I remember this one time I wrote the saddest poem I've ever written during one of the saddest points in my life, I sat there with legs crossed on the cold ground of a dim hallway on the third floor of the humanities building at school. It was on a yellow blue-lined sheet of paper, I folded it in three, I left it there anonymously and fled. I’ll never know who found that piece of me, perhaps no one ever did. every day is another year. I’m sorry, I always end up writing too much. I’m sorry, for being quite a crap person sometimes, truly I am. There are many things I’ll live to be sorry about, but I've no fault for the words inside of my head. All tomorrow’s parties are dead. Listen to The Babies all night with me instead.

Oh darling, save a place for me in your heart.
arubybluebird Dec 2013
I cannot tell if I am alive or just breathing
You are a lie I choose to believe in
I am worried love may just be something my soul needs
I shouldn't have drank that last cup of coffee
I should have kissed you longer while I had the chance
But if choice could choose not to choose
But if sound could mute without losing its sound
But if it weren't a ******* shame that you're not here with me
Perhaps then I'd be able to tell
You are a truth I refuse to except
Maybe I'm living for the small things
I'll never know how to love you enough
Perhaps I should appreciate the cold side of my pillow
Maybe I'm just desperate
Maybe I'm just tired
Maybe I've been alone
                                  with the entire universe inside of me
                   for far too long
Maybe I just miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
               I can't

I cannot tell if this is a poem or a feeling
I don't want to know if you ever hope to see me
I still love you are the cruelest words in the world
Darling, I never meant to lie
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