My darling, I know
Your heart aches with a
Lifetime of burden
And regret, but the
World still turns, the tides
Still crash, and the moon
Still shines. Despite
The hole in
Your chest.

I am so overcome with love
But only when my mind is hazy
And thoughts come slowly, quietly

What am I so ashamed of
That I can only see you warmly
In the dark?

Why is it easier to concede
To love when
I’m not thinking clearly?

Cursed child,
Whisper your sorrows
To unforgiving
Water and
Drain your tears

Wash the blood
And the dirt from your
Hands to purify
This pain and
Pacify your soul

Imagine
All the lives
I’ve lived and
Things I’ve seen
Gone by noon, dizzy
As a dream, fevered
Bodies clutching
Clammy skin.

Oh, dear. Oh, my. Please,
Don’t wait to wake me.

i had a dream of us
aged like the finest wine,
one comes to the other
looking for the knowing glances
and careful smiles

underneath all of
the time we spent apart
lays a love so untouched
and so bright
it may blind us both

I am always half awake,
Occupying the space between
Then                   and now
        Today                     and tomorrow
One half dreaming, dizzy,
                           Falling. Always falling,
Graced in gravity’s pull
I’ve never found the bottom
But when I do
I’ll just keep digging and
                 keep falling.

Strange strange girl

Your silence makes you
Strange. Your strangeness makes
You forgotten. So,
Be good and
Be gone.

My eyes are blurry with tears but oh,
How the lights glow in the haze
I try to step outside myself and
Ask the sky what made me this way,
But the fog only stared back silently

One single star blinking back,
The same star that I’ve always seen
Under the same sky I’ve always breathed
In the same place I’ve always been
Nothing has changed except everything
(And even that has faint traces of you)

You and I, I liked to believe we’re the same
But your life isn’t mine
And your love isn’t mine
The distance between us, tied together
Over countless fields and mountaintops
Stretching from here to there
               lets meet somewhere in the middle,
               where it grazes Missouri.
               or is it Montana? I’m not sure but
I’ve always
Been sure
Of this heart
And I left it
In the airport
The night I left you
With sleep
In my eyes
And tears
On my cheeks



Oh, tears, tears.

at the end of it all,
when the future can no longer
loom above us and our
softness returns, all we will have
is each other.

beneath a quiet sky we will
watch the world turn
and rejoice in glowing hearts,
still here.

The light is red.

I look over at you,
Eyes pleading for a kiss.
You give in
And the world seems to stop,
As two lovers
Escape for a moment
Of bliss.

The light is green.

Time has given up on me
And so has gravity,
As I stray through
Barriers of now and then.
Floating through past,
                               present,
                               future
Never settling anywhere
A stranger even in
Memories of my own
Don’t mind me, I’m
Just visiting
Just passing through

I’ll be gone soon.

You're gone, the stage
Is set for heartbreak
The world dims, my
Heart dulls. Or sharpens?

I’m sorry,
I’m always so cold.

Foaming frenzy, I find
Stillness in your memory
Quiet collusion with the
Moon and a shameful confession-
I will go wherever you go.

Heart humming beneath you,
Breath held against sharp edges
Threatening soft flesh.

Patient hands to test this
Daring dance between us
Oh, let’s just see
What happens
Before curtain call.

Underneath an
Empty sky I
Cry out
My loneliness
Pour out
My sadness to
Celestial beings
Who could not care less

Eventually,
I stop my crying
And I go to join
The moon and all her
Glorious stars

Twenty years I’ve lived and
Still, I feel like a kid

But you’re a woman
You certainly look
Like a woman

What hunger, great enough to
Stretch your skin, turn
Your insides out

With nowhere to hide, my
Eyes meet pavement, this
Smile sinks to stiffness
For the realization of
Bones only ornamental to
Your probing eyes

Oh, draining desire.
Oh, humanity.

at the end of the
night my mind
falls back to you

fingers tracing a
shiny pink scar,
sealed memories from
a lifetime ago

dear cosmic wound,
achingly profound pain
twist the knife
and still, I will
beg you to stay

Today, a
Simple day
To wake with
Someone gentle
And sweet, who
I will be
Extra quiet
For when I
Zip my things.
Fluttering
In and out
Of sleep, I
Can’t predict
When you’ll speak.

             “Are you going on a walk?”
                             “Not yet, darling.”

But I leave
Before you
Rise because
Yesterday,
You held me
When I cried
And looked at
Me in a
Way that pulled
Me towards you,
Wondering
When I will
Stop burning
With such shame.

But I, ever-miss
Touche-à-tout, have
Never steadied
A decision
And can only
Look away, fear
Of what I’d do.
Oh, but today
You told me you
Dreamt of kissing.

A vague and hazy
Something to remind
Me not to tell you
That I dreamt the same.

They took
My God away from me.

Told me
I won’t be loved by You.

Your believers
Killed and I was
To worship blood
Instead.

Sink in all the
Shame inside, and
Take it as a
Lesson earned.

Love did not find me unknowingly,
Stricken and sick. Rather,
I found it suspect to a closed heart
Before I willed this love into existence,
Sparking metals forging something foreign.

A resilient something to bear the time-passing

You say
You feel
Dizzy when you
Kiss me
So do
I

Is it the slow dance of
Dopamine digging grooves
Between our bodies? Or
Is it the velvet hum of
Desire, lulling us to quiet?

Watch me, watching you
Can you see it? This is
Hunger, wanting taking shape.
(Anything more definitive,
And you will scare the birds off)

I like to burn slow but
You, dipped in Sun
Blessed by God
Looked so sweet beneath
Changing skies I couldn’t
Help but tilt
Towards your beams

Now tangled in
Your taste, I try
To decipher what
Lies beneath desire.