i have known her since a long time
it happened that she is a year ahead from me
as a girl
i always hate those whose face prettier than mine
i cursed them, saying they all brainless
but
i could not just stand still when i looked her for the first time
my jealousy seemed going away
my mind started to repair itself
saying, i was not in love
i admired her only
she was no fake
her soul was lighten up by her beauty

this was the second time for me
since the first time i saw my mother

I remember once you told me
You kept thinking about me days after I left you
You asked me if I was the same
I told you, I was okay
But the truth is
I was also not okay at all.

Now, if I asked you whether you’re doing good without me
The answer will be
You are now completely fine, no harm, no hideous feeling
starting a new happy life,
I guess

looking through
the gap between houses
was my classic start
it was until
i was enchanted of
a box with moving images
it showed pretty faces and scenery
my classic start ended
i was so young
my mother was always busy
and made sunday, the day of happiness
for me
when she was home
everything seemed so real, yet so imaginative
you could not believe
it was until the blackout
that my classic start
began to show up, again.

Who will eventually greet me every morning
Who will walk me to the class
Who will share food with me at lunch
Who will drive me anywhere
Who will buy me milk tea every tuesday
Who will laugh at everything i do
Who will appreciate my confusing thought and joke
Who will give a surprise phone call
Who will knock my window
Who will understand me very well
Who will be in front of me whenever i pray
Who will talk to me until i fall asleep
Who will guide me to places
Who will not get mad whenever i complain about things
Who will be friend with my brothers
Who will not feel afraid to introduce me to his friends
Who will not let me go whenever i mad
Who will wipe my tears
Who will worry about me
Who will keep his promises
Who will watch movies with me
Who will sing for me
Who will do silly things with me
Who will play with my hair

Last but not least
The one who will be there whenever i need him.

my mind still catches your silhouette
haunting around my brain core
causing trouble to nerve that speciffically went to a total damage
of sending "it's time to move" message
to my whole body

my heart had being turned off
after i've psyched myself
of full long term commitment
that best day of my life-since

my double black eyes still searching for you
in the crowd of blurry people,
in my favorite city (used-to)
that back of you vision still lingers
through every corner of the street

in the end, what i'm trying to say is
**don't close the door, please?

we're not getting any younger
but we're still twenty-below
maybe when we slightly older
we will meet again
i can't wait to be older, then