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A man came knocking at my door one day
just after I had prayed
for someone to take my life from my grasp.
He walked so seamlessly
there was a smoothness
and yet a carelessness about him
like no one I had ever met before.

Decked out in black from head to toe
he stood out from the others.
"Take a walk with me"
he sneered through a sinister smile
keeping a cynical eye on me.

We strolled along the river
and he held my attention
as if it was his own child.
I did not notice as people began
to jump off of bridges
switch out poison for alcohol
because he had my mind in his hand.

Once released from his trance
I looked around
shocked at the things I saw.
No one was left
no one but him and me.
While unnerved by this fact
a strange serenity entangled my body.

This man, his name was Death
and he did answer my prayer.
He removed the situation from me
rather than the reverse.

That evening, he said
"Go play little girl,
and show the world that
Death brought you life."
But there was no one left to show.
No one to tell.
Death taught me a lesson:
be careful what you wish for.

And as if it were meant to be some kind of cruel joke
he left gold for me in his boat.
We were reading a German folk tale today in class, and hence the love child belonging to my brain and said story was born.
What use is a sailboat if it does not float?
What use is a shell if it does not welcome a host?
What use is a razor if it's not used for cutting?
What use is a body if not for *******?

I watch from afar but nobody hears,
my screams or calls for help.
The shiny blades they look so pretty,
I wish I saw more meaning than it being my kind of dope.

The Zombies are so loud,
with insistent filler for silence.
I remain quiet only to hope that
one day I will be free.
Why do you care
what I do
I'm me
not you...
Well at least it rhymes.
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
Freedom
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
Freedom
Is a curse

Freedom
Is not really free

Freedom
Is an illusion

Of what must be?

Freedom
Is just out of grasp...

Freedom...
Is that last breathe before it is all is to collapse
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
Rules
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
Forgive
and
Forget

Live
and don't
Regret

Strive
and
Thrive

Fight
just to
Stay *alive
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
A And
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
K603
There       is       an    I
and      A      we
      A         you         and         who?
A        we         and          an    us
         A    her    and    A      him
A     love    and  
      A      lust
Can you see my tears?
Welling behind hot and swollen eyes
They push and ****, hoping to escape
But I will not let them.
They are eager little monsters
And it takes all of my strength not to burst.

Can you hear my screams?
In the middle of the night
After drunken decisions
And hungover memories
That's when my flashbacks hit the hardest.
So, I shriek
But it falls on deaf ears
They either are not audible
Or people choose to overlook my
Lonely disposition.

Can you ******* air?
It is creeping and crawling
Drenched in sweat.
Salty and metallic flavors collide inside my mouth
As if some sort of blood began to flow
In one place that I wish it would not.

Can you smell my fear?
They say in dogs it reeks
A certain poignant stink.
In me, what is the scent?
Does it seep through my skin
And secrete out of my pores?
I feel myself trembling
I am not able to escape.

Can you feel my pain?
I want to send you signals
Tell you I am not okay
Or am I okay?
I just want to know
I just want to hold on a little longer
I just want you to notice
Please tell me, just once,
"We can talk if you want to."
And mean it.

They cannot see these
Classic and obvious signs.
They do not know.
They do not care
They do not  **listen.
The razor bites into my skin like a wolf attacking it's prey. Blood drips out and oozes into a pool, cuts further into me till I can't hold in my tears any longer. I want to cry out in pain but know well enough I don't deserve even that. The thoughts take over my body, cut deeper till I know I'll feel the pain for days.

I'm not good enough for her. For anyone. I deserve pain. It rips out chunks of who I am, causing me to feel nothing. Just nothing. Alone, forever. I'll always. always. be alone.

The razor bites into me. I am nothing. I become nothing. I was nothing. I never was anything special.
With the
Desire the purge
Craving to cut
Need for escape

And the
Opportunity to drown out
My body's grievances
Why wouldn't I?

I'd be lying if I said
I haven't done it
I didn't have have weak days
My body doesn't ache for that
Lovely and disgusting
Physiological quench.

And yet they tell me
I'm lazy
I don't do enough
It doesn't matter that
I'm on my feet for eleven or twelve hours at a time every day
I'm working my *** off
I'm still recovering from an eating disorder.
But no, it doesn't matter
I still have no right to complain in their minds.

But wait**
I am a pretty good secret keeper
Sometimes.
Is it possible that
I am too talented at keeping my emotions locked away?
Maybe, just maybe,
They just don't *know.
 Feb 2014 Ariel Leann
Clovina
Let Me be...*
Memories I do not to see.
Locked away, it holds no Key.
Have them Fade from History.

Things, I often see.
Creations of Forbidden Keys.
Awakening Ancient Memories.
Reliving Illusional History...
Nightmares Leave me be...
Dreams you are now History!
Locks which (now) hold no Keys!
Forsaken Memories, Leave!


http://hellopoetry.com/poem/676258/memory/
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