I left my love locked on a wired fence
Engraved for all to see
I left my love in the castle on the hill
And inside the national art gallery

On cobbled streets
And in tartan shops
Near a cafe down a winding lane
I reminisce about fancy food
And broken bathtubs
Nostalgia, continuously feeding my pain

“You know
life can be sad sometimes.
And once you get past the sad
it's medium.
And once you get past the medium
well -
then it's magic.”

I think I smoke to remember,
There's something about holding a cigarette between my lips
that keeps the memory of you alive.
You are with me on every inhale -
Escaping my grasp when I finally breath out.

I sit in one of our many local pubs
Sipping on strong cheap coffee
reading a damaged book, from a second hand bargain bin.

I don't look up much, I don't desire the opinions of others -
watching a young woman sat alone in a bar.
On the occasions that I do, I see couples and groups giggling idly in the late evening sun.

In my head I create my own version of their stories
who they are; where they've been.
I imagine they have lead a rich and fulfilled life, but
Reality?

Each a small city dweller, engulfed by the swollen population and streets scorched reputation.
Never to escape.

I wish I had the right words
To tell you how I feel.
They'd be beautiful and raw -
And be exactly what you need to hear.
Rather than all the silence
And the ticking of a clock.
Telling us how much time and distance -
Is passing, whilst no one says a word.

I am grateful you existed
For a short time in my life.
Teaching me guys can be selfless
Showing me boys can be kind.

I am thankful for the new experiences
That I got to share with you.
You taught me many a lesson
And made many a dream come true.
Like pottery and Paris
Pic n mix and Polaroids.
Also birthdays and BBQs
Brunch and bike rides.

I am appreciative of your patience
Even when I was too hard to love.
I will remember you as a beautiful coincidence
That now I can let go of.

I walked into a room today -
Where someone had sprayed your Cologne.
It took me back to being in one of your three bedrooms, watching you light a cigarette or dress into your favourite joggers and flip flops.  

I could smell your skin again, I could smell home.

I stayed there for a few minutes too long, caught up in my own thoughts of what seems to be a lifetime ago, perhaps it was.
I thought of endless beach days and cooking lessons.
I envisioned dark chocolate eyes and unfinished tattoos, I remembered silly nicknames and secret sensitive spots.

But then my nose got used to the rooms fragrance -
and just like that again, you were gone.