I wanted to write poetry
About how I felt inside

But the pen remained untouched
The ink left alone
The paper, empty

And then I realised
That was exactly how I felt.

You once wrote me I was beautiful
You wrote that I was strong
But yesterday you left without a word
I guess your affection didn't last so long,

You should know it's not your fault we drifted
It's not your fault I keep going back
I understand you were trying to protect me
To keep me on the right track,

But somewhere in-between the arguing
Somewhere in-between your pain
I knew I had to take a step back
Our friendship I needed to limit, to restrain,

I don't expect you to understand it
I don't expect you to fully forgive
All I want is for you to be happy
For your new life at Uni to live,

And maybe one day we will  speak again
Maybe one day we'll sit back at the bank and smile
I don't expect it to be anytime soon
But I know I can wait a fair while,

I hope you don't leave me on your bedroom wall
I hope you take some of me in you mind
If ever you do find yourself thinking of me
Look out across the ocean

and you shall find.

The only one by my side was my shadow
and my only comfort therefore was my mind
Too much distress I wanted to voice and let go of -

but my mouth thought it too selfish a crime.

When enough time has passed to be able look back
back before, and leading up to what I now write
back to the blossoming beginning before the inevitable end
back to when all my time on you I would spend

Reflecting on days quickly wasted and nights far to prolonged
prolonged memories not quickly enough forgotten in mind
prolonged feelings that never cease to leave me, to end
prolonged ideas of how our relationship I thought I could mend

The sad reality of it all is nobody is really yours to keep -
it's just your turn and I've learned actions, emotions and talk are all cheap.

I am always almost
and we are forever maybe

You are more right here right now
yet I am more lets wait and see

Together we are impossible and complicated
together we fight and disagree

You and I are poles apart
you and I should not become we.

I'll keep this message short as I'm writing it on a text,
What i have to say is important Dad so keep reading what i write next.

Even though we have our ups and downs and even though you can be mean,
I know our bond is unconditional over 20 years evidence can be seen.

When i was younger you were sense of security with arms to hold me tight,
Sleeping on my bedroom floor to keep me safe at night.

When i got a little older you helped me through every GSCE and A level test,
Without you i wouldn't be at university without you i wouldn't of achieved my best.

Now that I'm an "adult" it seems your jobs been done,
Yet i know you still worry secretly you're a mother hen just like mum.

I know you'll always be there for me and truthfully? I'll always need you there,
To offer me words of wisdom, your humour, your kindness, your care.

So have a lovely fathers day even though we're apart,
Know wherever you go in life, you'll be on my wrist, and in my heart.

Waiting for you love is like waiting for an ocean to empty.
It will take forever and it will never happen.
There are far too many gallons of water, just like our gallons of problems.
And we will drown in them before they are solved.
The ocean has plenty of fish and it makes me sad you still wish to explore it, when I am here waiting for you to want me...
You linger in the shallow waters, afraid to take the plunge. Afraid of what may be waiting for us in it's unknown depths.
Yet I am here, I am in the deep end waiting.  I don't know how long I can keep treading water for you.
Please, don't allow me to sink...