arham

arham Nov 2013

Autumn

The trees
And leaves
In autumn
Remind me of you
Always falling apart

arham Oct 2013

You hold onto paper hands that
fall to dust the moment I touch them.
These structures are shivering.
You pile blocks over blocks,
go higher and higher.
The sky is a hue of blue you
cannot fathom into art.
Or buildings.
Only your heart.
But mine is failing.
These unending lights,
This gloss,
This mask,
It is not real.
It is not helping.
These buildings grow higher and I
Shrink lower.
This is no metropolis.

arham Oct 2013

Pretentious

You can call me
Pretentious
With my fancy words and
My endless rants
About
These beautiful words, worlds and
Fantasy lives.

I talk about being alive in
The lilt of those words the
Curve of my tongue rolling off every
Lush little letter I talk
About poetry and magic and
An exasperating universe.
And god! I'm breathless

With the chaos of this beauty
And the beauty of this chaos.
And god every deep
Breath is another burst
Of magic and every new word
Settles into the depths of my
Soul.

****, I try to be humble but
Everything in me sways
And sashays
To the rhythm of these words
And its song entwined with the
Melody of my heart, I dance
And I jump and hum with all this joy.

Never pretentious.
Always alive.

arham Oct 2013

Ode to my best friend

This is an ode to my best friend
my best friend who I haven't told I'm gay
my best friend who I've stripped in front
my best friend who never glanced once
my best friend who hit on me relentlessly the first time I met him
my best friend who bought me another drink when I called him an ***-faced tool
my best friend who held me till dawn when I cried about the girl I wouldn't tell him about
my best friend who was there when I kept lying over and over
my best friend who never left even though he saw every lie
my best friend who I love more than anything
my best friend who I love more than anyone
my best friend who doesn't know I fell for his girl
my best friend who doesn't know his girl fell for me
my best friend who won't look at me anymore
my best friend who will still leave chocolates at my door because he knows I'm upset
my best friend who will probably never forgive me
my best friend who I don't expect to forgive me

But god I do!
God I hope you do!

There are real people in my head, I write their stories too.

arham Aug 2013

Paradoxes

There are bright lights in the darkness
And some truth to every lie
Living in fear that you'll die
You fall before you fly

Silence is louder than words
Yet I keep hoping, looking for answers
These days are a set of funny, sad blurs
I don't want to end up holding razors

They say lies are only paper thin
Yet they've got me surrounded, suffocating

arham Aug 2013

Hope Shattered (10w)

It should be
Morning
But the sun
Has stopped
Shining

arham May 2013

Searching

There is this darkness
This unease
Clawing inside me
My dwindling faith
I don't know how to fix
See I've been searching for God
But he seems to be nowhere
There are answers I want
Do signs mean anything?
I feel incomplete
Like I'm tethered to a cliff
By a strand that's wearing down
...
..
.
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