Today was the ending
I felt nothing
Maybe relief

Ten years ago I thought
This would be the day
The day I'd be proud

But see, I've done nothing
And here standing in a mass of people
I don't stand out anymore

I have lost that spark
That thing that made me so me
That some days you'd just smile and say
Never change,
Never change because I love you

But today was the ending
And I'm sure amidst the mass of colors
You didn't even miss me
You never will
But I will

You can call me Alex or Alexandra
The first time I said I liked girls my voice broke
Everyone turned to me as if I had cursed at the dinner table
My mother told me to go take a shower and think about it
But mom, you can't wash off who you are
And yes, I have been thinking about it
A lot

In a small town news spreads like wildfire
I was the walking disappointment in the middle of town square
I had been reduced to it till I was purged of this evil that threatened to claim my soul
No one would sit next to me in class
And everyday after the assembly I was taken aside and told I would burn
Hell had no mercy for those like me
But people, you don't tell a sixteen year old child that she is possessed by the devil

And the other day when I went to get my hair cut
They loped it all off
And they said there you like to **** girls now you can be a man
But a bad haircut doesn't make me a man
And all the abuses you can throw at me won't change who I am
And I stood there with their glares digging daggers into the back of my head
The old man cursed ****, and the parents covered their childrens eyes
As if I had a disease they would catch if they looked for too long

And they threw a burning stick in my front yard and said burn you deserve to burn
So i did
I burnt
I burnt myself piece by piece till there was nothing left but ashes
But remember you can burn down one Alex, one ****, one unholy sin but
There will rise another and another and another
Till this world will have to change and then
There will be a **** at every street corner and
I will look you in the eye and say how many will you burn?

I am sixteen years of
Apologies bundled into
One big mess

I am every lie I told
You when you clearly
Didn't know better

I am bruises left on
Skin that is now
A vile shade of purple

I am every stroke of
The pen that leaves
Scars deeper then knives

I am every shadow that
Wakes you in the
Middle of the night

I am the darkness
That took away
Your light

I am every breath you
Take when you're
Trying so hard to forget

I am sixteen years of
Apologies that I could
Never make up for

It's dark here
They're shadows
Everywhere
Save me will you?