You conversing
with others
Or eyeing on me
through your references
is not what bothers me,

You not talking to me
you arguing with me
or even ignoring me
due to reasons
is not what bothers me

You not opening up to me
because of your insecurities
or hiding a secret
because you can't tell me
is not what bothers me

But if you hold me
responsible for all our feuds
or find ways to guilt me
in covering up your flaws
In easy words, what bothers me is that you lied to me.

I marked my heart
with scars and blemishes
some of today and some of tomorrow
Oh how time flies
once I was a dreamer
now hopelessly dead,

I had the strength to seek
the power to interpret and analyze things
the willingness to feel the pain and sorrow of others
but now all that fades away
once blessed to feel emotions
now cursed- emotionless,

Deceit and heartbreak
decayed all that was around
heart once so loving and soft
perished everything one by one
changing not perceptions
but also me on the way.

If only i could distinguish between love and hate,
If only i could differentiate between what is and isn't,

I'd say I lack the ability to set apart,
Things may seem right but they aren't,
All seems sane but it's not,
Its the eye of optimism that blinds reality;
that covers all the lies,

If only i could distinguish between love and hate,
If only i could differentiate between what is and isn't,

My way of handling,
My way of bearing;
It's just not satisfying,
I should be the one to make my own decisions,
But I'm now only dependent on others,

If only i could distinguish between love and hate,
If only i could differentiate between what is and isn't,

I'm so under control,
I can't defy my taker;
Can't take my own steps,
I am frail,
I am a woman, so that is what society has to say,

If only i could distinguish between love and hate,
If only i could differentiate between what is and isn't,

My power to nurture,
My power to assemble;
It's nothing compared to what's being said about me or any other that can relate,
I am best at what I do,
Yet I'm weak to pave away,

If only i could distinguish between love and hate,
If only i could differentiate between what is and isn't.

Flowers blossom the terraces
the garden filled with a familiar smell
an aroma of love
and a fragrance of hurt
there in the ditch I stumble and fall
reality is revealed
and so is the deceit that I embraced.

As I leap forward to touch
I pull myself in danger and terror
like the forbidden tree
I enter into a forbidden trance

A place where only desire resides
where hands are restless and reach for love
where bodies arouse
I enter into a forbidden trance

A mixture of feelings and emotions
a wave of fear that sweeps off the smile from my face
i touch my finger tips to yours and caress you
I enter into a forbidden trance

The thought of loss petrifies me
your soul conquers me
it is you that I yearn for knowing the consequences
I find myself entering a forbidden trance.

As I leap forward to touch
I pull myself in danger and terror
like the forbidden tree
I enter into a forbidden trance

A place where only desire resides
where hands are restless and reach for love
where bodies arouse
I enter into a forbidden trance

A mixture of feelings and emotions
a wave of fear that sweeps off the smile from my face
i touch my finger tips to yours and caress you
I enter into a forbidden trance

The thought of loss petrifies me
your soul conquers me
it is you that I yearn for knowing the consequences
I enter into a forbidden trance.