don’t love me

of course i want to be loved,
but i don’t think i deserve it because i might get clumsy to break your precious heart into pieces

really, you should not love me unless you’re ready to break your heart; your soul — you

i can even sort some reasons why you shouldn’t love me;

1. i’m the breaker,
i can break a super expensive and precious glass with just a touch; i don’t want to break you

2. me, my soul, my world, they are full of black & blue; you may not ready to get into the dark world of mine

3. i’m a chaotic mess inside,
i’m just that emotional girl who cries a lot;
i don’t think you can handle me because i can’t even handle my own self

4. i can never understand so i never learn, and you will probably get tired of me because of it

5. i still don’t like what i see in the mirror
i still don’t like the sound that echoes in my bath room every time i talk;
i still don’t like every thing about this sad girl who wakes up everyday in my bed

don’t love me
because i don’t even know how to love myself, so what makes you think that i’m going to love you?

**** you,
ㅤ
you came into my life
just like nightmares did;
all of a sudden, and unpredictable
but you, you didn’t freak me out as nightmares did
you brought hopes; like a clear sky in the morning
after a gloomy night, and like a rainbow after the rain

we met
we talked
we hung out
blah blah blah
until finally, i fell for you

i was so amazed with you yourself
your childish-self
your gentleman-self
your crazy-self
your lover-self

the whole of you

i was blinded by you
not only by the sound of your cute but **** laugh
or by the strong hands of yours when you held me
but also by the jokes you threw to me
by the way you talked so thoughtful about some things
by the sweetness of how you treated me
by everything you do and words you say
you know that it all takes my breath away

and now, i’m left with nothing

so yeah, that’s it
after you left, and finished this ‘thing’ between us
i cried
a lot

because my heart has been shattered to pieces
by the guy who i gave all of my heart to
and now, it feels like there’s just flesh and bones on me
well, i don’t know how to tell you
that you really ****** up my life
now, i’m the ruined
i’m the broken
i’m a mess.

that’s why i didn’t start this letter with ‘dear you’
in case you’re wondering
so, **** you

i’ve never heard about you anymore
and maybe that’s a good thing though
i hope you’re happy with your life
and i kinda hope that me, myself
will be happy too
soon

thank you for being you
and thank you for ‘us’
i learnt a lot