to eighteen years,
first times and lasts
crushes on boys that never liked back
friendships and heartbreak
growing up too fast
places and faces
scents and  laughs
lessons learned, second chances
scraped knees and full hearts
new books, different chapters
old songs, favorite parts

to new beginnings,
mistakes and coffee stained chats
long drives, adventures
let's cheer to that

here's
to eighteen years
young or old
to not merely exist
but to live
what life unfolds.

tired eyes, sapping me dry
"to give, to take"
but all you do is
take, take, take
he told me,
"honey, you're far too young to feel this way"
i told him i was born a little late
an old soul
living life with
eyes closed

if home is where the heart is, i guess you're homeless.

if you asked me five years ago if i would ask you why if i had the chance to, i would tell you yes in a heartbeat without a beating in my heart. your pedestal has sat so high that it has taken my lifetime to knock it down- but it's hurt the builder more than the royal sitting on the throne. i never wanted anything from you except your time and if that's wrong then i'm sorry that i bothered; but for loving you i won't apologize for.
if you asked me a month ago if i would ask you why if i had the chance to,
i'd leave my answer as empty as the way you left me.