you told me to give you my heart and all i had was a bouquet of flowers but i guess sunflowers were never your favorite.

rejection is such a common fear in our society. we prepare ourselves for the worst and hope for the best only to learn that sometimes the best times are found in those worst of times. we've grown up in this world that teaches us that it's better to leave words unspoken and risks not taken than to reach for our dreams. they seem as attainable as the stars but my creator is the maker of those very stars. i am not accepted by this world and that's okay because maybe i just don't want to live an "exceptional" life. i am accepted by the only one who is acceptable and that's something i can accept.

thinking about you is like glimpsing through my old photo albums and realizing that you were looking at her this whole time; dancing to the songs i showed you, playing you back in my head like a record but the player broke and now all i have are these unsaid goodbyes and hellos. knots and ties in my stomach by a boy scout for a badge.
well now you're just another album  taking up space.

they say broken things are beautiful
well dear, i'm the prettiest thing
you've seen
with crooked edges
flawed imperfections
shattered pieces of you
reflecting in pieces
of me
but i can't be put together
like your old dollhouse
i'm not your doll
sewing my scars
for others not to see
i don't need to be fixed
"broken things are beautiful"

i can't begin to understand why you do what you do or say the things you say but you weren't meant to be understandable; you're not mine to figure out and that frustrates me. not that you're not mine but that someone else has the pleasure of knowing you in a way that i couldn't.

one thing that i've learned about time
is that it doesn't slow down
for me, for you, for them
the days are flying by
like a car
swerving past me on the road
dancing around
the brink of life
the brink of death
and i'm trying to catch
my breath
people are coming and leaving
as i blink my eyes
and i can't make them
stay
time scares me
it's demanding
and i'm not ready
to take orders
it gets better in time,
it gets worse in time
i'll get better in time,
i'll get worse
in time.

i was
a prisoner
caged in my own mind
dragged down by the chains
in my words
throwing myself at a world
that didn't take me in
you set me
free
and i still wore those shackles
around my feet
like my favorite pair of shoes
but
your grace kept me
my debt
was paid
i am no longer defined
by my shame
my insecurities can't pull me
down
keep me above the waves
that crash around me
i'll keep calling
your name