What day was that;
that day I met you?
Was it in my mind?
Why did those thoughts start then?
Thoughts.
Of confusion.
Of realization.
...Of self-hate.
Did you make me realize the truth?
That the world is nothing but cruel.
Or did I discover it?
That my childhood is gone.
My mind is that of an adult's.
The thing I don't want to become.

I fell.
But I am not your angel.
I am your demons.
Causing you to hurt.
Break.
They notice
My bruises

Her eyes are far away from you
Distant
Will you stay or will you linger?
She isn't there to watch you
Do you wish to stray?

Knowing I'm not alone,
My eyes shift side to side,
Searching for the demons within my mind....
Soon they'll sink into the depths of reality,
Infecting those who can see them,
...Only me.
I can see them. I'll always see them.
They won't leave me. They can't leave me. I am cursed.

Father went to Hell.
Pushed her out a window.
Down; Mother falls,
As I grin at her demise.

"Lies", I cry out.
Strings; ripped at seams.
Down; I have fallen.
A broken attempt at fleeing.

"4-5-1-20-8"
I carve; into a platform.
The sun sets; a vivid red.
But, frozen in time; the night never arrives.

"Shall I play this final song,
Until I break this strings?"
"Shall I be engulfed in flames,
Until these ashes form my wings?"

"Shall I drown myself in sin,
Until the gates won't let me in?"
"Shall I lie there; paralyzed,
Until I let my anguish win?"

A shattered soul, left abandoned.
Nightfall, without a star.
On the top floor, I let go...
...Pavement.

____________

child,
you have your hopes and dreams
but they will all be crushed

child,
you have your life and love
but your heart will be broken

you do not understand reality
your mind is in the clouds
and your soul is six feet under

my dreams are nothing more than mere parasites
as they leave me dismembered

your words work well as a pesticide
saying things i don't want to remember

as you capture me, and fracture me
i can see the stars
long ago they once were ours

those visions were more than just paradise
back in that dismal November
i should have taken their advice
before my heart burst into embers

as i agree, you decree
that this will end in scars
now wasn't that bizarre...

my mind now burns
i can no longer return
what did i earn?

i inhale this fractured lullaby
you have no alibi
just like the summertime
i should have said goodbye

and you now turn
you'll never return

i should have said goodbye

i couldn't say goodbye

curled in a corner
of my white room
i start to crawl
on the floor
stumbling

i drown in my thoughts
they spin in my mind
chaotic, empty, nonsensical.

but i found a solution

poison in my mind,
it leaves me blind

snakes coil 'round my neck
im up again

'round and around
and round and around
'till my fingers fade to blue
'till my heart is content

ive got a fixation
as fix~ation
la la la la la
ive got this fixation
as fix~ation
la la la~

and 'round and round i spin~

I step forward, two steps back.
With tired eyes, and ragged breaths, you say ¨hello¨,
¨hello¨~

My mind screams out ¨BEWARE¨,
but I don't really care,
I just love this feeling of floating on air~

Let's DANCE in the parking lot~!
Bring your poison, and your lies.
The world's ending anyways,
we're all gonna die, so let's
do it, do it, do it, do it,
let's duet~

A collaboration, a combination, shaky voices, crying out for
mercy, mercy, merci.
Thank you for your
loving, loving, lovin' to
infect me, ejecting, inject me.
Shoot me up, fill me up, stab me with the
needle, needles, needing~
I need you.
I want you.
I love you.
I'd **** to.

Let's DIE in the parking lot~!!!
Inject your poison, make me cry.
The worlds's ending anyways,
we're all gonna die, so please
take me to heaven, straight to paradise, just so high,
so ******* high~

This world is still unknown to me.
Everything is, without you.
¨I understand¨, ...did you?
Do you know how much I miss the sound of your voice?
Do you know how much I hate myself for replacing you?
But if I didn't... I'd still feel empty.
So empty.
Sometimes I think I still see you...
Your shadow, lurking off in the distance...
Maybe its my imagination...
But I think you're still here.
You didn't disappear.
I didn't do it.
I didn't.

I'm so selfish.
I'm nothing but a failure.

All I do is try to replace those memories,
try to find an escape, a new you, so I can be happy.
...but why?
Why do I pose as a god, wanting to live forever...?
Maybe its because I know there's nothing there...
Not you.
Nor my addiction.

...Even though I'm barely hanging on,
...I don't want to forget you.
...That's why I've stayed here, in this corrupted life.
Torturing myself, keeping myself, and him, sane.
When our lips touch, I pretend it's you.
Scratches and bruises, the pain keeps me high.
I don't want to lie.
Not anymore.

in that gray world
your eyes awoke
to floating lights and fading dreams

on that path of wires
you fell down
your heart a distant glow

memories poured from their eyes
connections in your skies

the smoke arose, exited souls
fluttered past your hands
through the clouds, illumination
blocks connectrix

in that gray world
eyes shirted to-and-fro
teardrops fell and rolled into rain

on that shattered path
you broke down
your heart exists in a land no-more

memories poured from their eyes
dissolving in your skies

the arose, exited souls
fluttered past your heart
through the clouds, illumination
blocks connectrix

- and once again -

the strings arose, connected souls
fluttered to your heart
pierced your skin
stained your mind, and
let it disappear,
let me disappear.

I lurk between skeletons.
A winding path with scattered
f o o t p r i n t s .
The frigid breeze pierces my skin, and leaves my soul
e x i t i n g
through my mouth.
Since I am now one of the abandoned, maybe I should make companions out of the
d e c a y i n g
leaves.
They won't leave me like you have.
The skeletons perform a foolish dance as the wanderers run through.
Running away for a shelter because they don't want
t o   b e   f o u n d .
. . . am i one of them now ?
If you find me, where will you take me?
Will you send me to the silent moon, and let me sleep in peace?
Or perhaps, you'll punish me with the flames of the sun?
...If that happens, will my ashes become the falling snow?
...but I've already ready fallen, haven't I?
As I lie there, soulless, in the remains of my comrades,
I look up, to see the midnight sky, and the glare of your
s c y t h e
illuminated by the moonlight.
Your cold hand touches my shoulder.
y o u ' v e
            f o u n d
                       m e .