April

April Oct 2014

let me go
walk thousands of miles
up the hills
through the brush
scream to the moon and stars
and laugh under the rays

let me go
cuz I'm the rope pulling you down
you don't see me
but I'm there
and you need to escape

You don't deserve the burn
or the late nights

let me go
I'm getting more and more tangled
and I need help
but
you're so much better
use your skills on someone else
find a ribbon
silk on you're fingertips
pretty in color

just let me go

April Oct 2014

I'm too much

I try too hard
I make you want to leave
when all I want for you is to stay

I cry too much
I give you headaches
when all I want for you is to dry my tears

I complain too much
I make you scream
when all I want is your warm embrace

in the dead of night
you've finally got away

I'm too numb
I can't feel a thing
even when I lost control

all I wanted was to be your 'want'
and amongst the white walls
sterile scent
I'm realizing maybe
you were right

I was just too much

April Oct 2014

11:15

i've got nothing left
my smile is like miniscule shards of glass
each part so pointy
no one wants to touch and make it curve

and they've past me
time and time again
I've become accustomed to their feet crushing me

I wait
soon enough the snow
will burden me whole
and I'll be a lifetime away

April Oct 2014

one less word a day

I'm stuck with these useless sayings in my head
I want to scream them till my lungs are raw
I don't
I can't even write them out
you, they, he won't understand

and I don't even understand
I just need satisfaction
but I'm living a life of solitude
retreating from the slightest touch of comfort

I'm a walking contradiction
and they wonder why I don't say a thing

I speak one less word a day
each week they hear me less and less
but they don't realize
and I don't care

April Oct 2014

Finding Him

summer sun
winter snow

complete opposites
both made her feel

one made her sanguine
one made her shallow

and in- between them both
the fleeting fall
or the swift spring

it was always the same
she wished
she was with him

his calm serene was a dose
she couldn't seem to find
even in the yellow rays
or the endless white

and at the end she realized
she couldn't find him
because he wasn't meant to stay
he was destined for greater things

April Sep 2014

Gasping for Breath

I don't think a mask of oxygen
could relieve the stress you put on my lungs

every night
when the stars chant stories above our heads
I find the air getting
thicker and thicker

you inch closer and closer
I need solitude
I need space

but

crazy enough
I want you closer
I thrive on the way
you make me gasp for breath

so this afternoon
I want to see the clouds dance above our heads
and
if I lose my breath
don't worry
it's fine
because it's all for *you

another weird one.. maybe.

April Sep 2014

Im Crying but You Can't See

If he ever wondered about me
I would want him to know
That smile on my face- it's fake
In fact
Most of the time
tears cascade down my cheeks
And when i studied the ground
That was because I didnt want him to see
One look in my eyes
Thats all it would take for him to
realize how weak I truly am