i've got nothing left
my smile is like miniscule shards of glass
each part so pointy
no one wants to touch and make it curve

and they've past me
time and time again
I've become accustomed to their feet crushing me

I wait
soon enough the snow
will burden me whole
and I'll be a lifetime away

summer sun
winter snow

complete opposites
both made her feel

one made her sanguine
one made her shallow

and  in- between them both
the fleeting fall
or the swift spring

it was always the same
she wished
she was with him

his calm serene was a dose
she couldn't seem to find
even in the yellow rays
or the endless white

and at the end she realized
she couldn't find him
because he wasn't meant to stay
he was destined for greater things

If he ever wondered about me
I would want him to know
That smile on my face- it's fake
In fact
Most of the time
tears cascade down my cheeks
And when i studied the ground
That was because I didnt want him to see
One look in my eyes
Thats all it would take for him to
realize how weak I truly am

i can feel your grasp slipping from mine
soon so soon
you'll feel the pavement
the rough truth
and
you'll find it's so much easier
to get hurt
without me
by your side

i know you you tell me every chance you can
you're strong, you can do this
but I know you,
your vision is blurry
each step is going to be a struggle

but tonight you're still here
and you're mine

in 1868 they sewed 'freak' across her chest
she was the ant of the food chain
it was a contest for them,
who could smother her the hardest

in 1878 they ravaged her
they were the crows
and she was a worm
they won
she came home with purple eyes
and a smothered heart

in 1888 they sat on hard sofas
frown lines permanent
they worked, the years of past were coming of age
she was a trophy
in their finest efforts

and she
cocooned with her published memoir
counted her wealth
overwhelmed with glee
she had a mended heart
not a trace of a scar
and she was alive
and simply *free