If he ever wondered about me
I would want him to know
That smile on my face- it's fake
In fact
Most of the time
tears cascade down my cheeks
And when i studied the ground
That was because I didnt want him to see
One look in my eyes
Thats all it would take for him to
realize how weak I truly am

i can feel your grasp slipping from mine
soon so soon
you'll feel the pavement
the rough truth
and
you'll find it's so much easier
to get hurt
without me
by your side

i know you you tell me every chance you can
you're strong, you can do this
but I know you,
your vision is blurry
each step is going to be a struggle

but tonight you're still here
and you're mine

in 1868 they sewed 'freak' across her chest
she was the ant of the food chain
it was a contest for them,
who could smother her the hardest

in 1878 they ravaged her
they were the crows
and she was a worm
they won
she came home with purple eyes
and a smothered heart

in 1888 they sat on hard sofas
frown lines permanent
they worked, the years of past were coming of age
she was a trophy
in their finest efforts

and she
cocooned with her published memoir
counted her wealth
overwhelmed with glee
she had a mended heart
not a trace of a scar
and she was alive
and simply *free

her tears are drying
the echo of his footsteps are long gone
its midnight now
and she's all alone

he was her cave
covering her from the world of lies
now her figure stands so clear
amidst the brush
and she's stuck with all her insecurities

she pleads desperately every night
she doesn't want to endure the scratches
or the ground shaking beneath her feet
the burn of their eyes
it's all to much

but shes stuck
and once again she realizes, she's all *alone

I'm sitting at your bedside
I want to stay here forever
just so you know I care

with each tick of the clock
my feet itch to discover the halls
and my eyes can't quite meet yours

and I wish
I could say
tell you
because
I care, I do

its always been me
stubborn
I'm as good as a wave
there to greet and comfort you
then the pull inside of me gets in the way
I can only last so long

but I'll be back again

never forget

I care, I do

i found him right on time
the moon was high
its glow light on my cheeks
the summer breeze sent whispers
telling me
everything was going to be okay

he came in the form of dark clothes
and smirk so sly
he asked me
no shame on his face
and i told him
i was just a waste

he said he didn't believe me

and now 12 months later
under the same moon
with the breeze silent
i remember
what it feels like to trust
he showed me
i was a treasure in a world full of waste