to the mother who was my shield
the grass beneath my feet
through the rain and sleet
when all I could think about was letting go

to the mother who watched from the sidelines
you knew when to let me go
when I was at balance
and ready to compete

to the mother tucked in the overwhelming sheets
frail and small
the wires that measure your heart beat
now I watch
I smile

I've finally learned how to let go
I've finally learned when to let go
When you're gone
I think
I'll be okay

there's something special about the sound of rain
slapping the concrete
sliding down the glass windows

each and every drop
comes to an end
nestled in the stems of grass
or snuggled beside a rough rock
their journey
thru the ups and downs
come together

and what more could be beautiful
then finding the end
not alone

maybe you can't handle the tidal waves after all
even in the darkest depths of my despair
your feet don't stay grounded
and that's all i ever needed

For some time
it occurred to me
I was better off
mute than loud

the words I spoke
always lost in the happy glow
the strength I attained
never seemed to shine
like their faces
spending time with their friends

at 3am
the light will distort your vision
I just want you to know
I wont ever let anyone in
cuz I cant accept myself
for who I really am

I know under the bright sun
friends in tow
glances back and forth
i look crystal clear
you have me figured me out
don't you?

you're wrong
I am crystal clear
but
what you don't see
is the miniscule cracks lining my skin
you don't see the terror
inside of me
slipping through

I want you to know now
before
its too late
cuz I am me
and I'm cracking
you don't want to love
someone
like
me

they heard voices
i wondered
i heard voices too
but then I realized
the voice was only my own
I had let this hate eat my flesh
tear my veins
swelled my heart till it was too large to
feel warmth again

i wasn't a monster
no I was me
the girl
with the nervous hands
timid voice
nothing changed
only the depths of my dreams

and the catch was
no one
in my view of sight
wanted to be my hook
leap in
be my warrior

and tonight
with my inner voice
telling me things
embarking them in my brain
I know
everything is uncertain
tomorrow
I can only dream