He uses a paintbrush
She uses a pen
He styles with color
She styles with her name
Both so alike, yet so different

He stands tall
She is weak at the knees
He shows his work with a proud smile
She hides her work with tears running down her cheeks

By the end of the day projects are done
Hands are tired
minds are numb
One awaits a new day
the other wishes for the end to come

They forgot I have a soul
They got lost in there mean words and judgmental stares
Beneath my skin

I am me
I have thoughts and tragedies
Why can't they see?

Did you know you can suffer for years and never realize?
You're sitting on the cobblestone sidewalk when it hits you
the impact of a flying tennis ball as it hits the racket
the tires scraping across the rocky driveway
but this
it burns, pains, scrapes all in one
the tears come so mellow at first
and suddenly the snap of fingers
the tears wreck you
you can't breathe
to make it worse the monster comes
rage
How could you ever believe everything was ok
All you have left is endless questions
most importantly
why now?

They say she's
bright smiles
always handing in her work on time
quick to be a guiding hand
she says
these are all lies
for she has something so great
green eyes
sharp teeth
scaly skin
fighting a battle in her mind
and she's on the losing side

My voice stopped working
My stomach was in knots
My mind was unsure
Should I breathe or should I die?
The doctors talked to me
They thought there words would change my mind
They had me draw and color
I just wasted there time
You were gone, I never could move on

Do you think I'm smart
I carry a pen and novel around
but do you really trust me
Do you think I'm pretty
luscious blond locks of hair curl around my face
but do you really believe what you see
Do you think I'm nice
I don't hesitate to give you my notes
but do you really understand why

I like to write
Bottling up your emotions
is like holding poison in your throat
you can only hold on for so long
till
the liquid passes
you lose control
Do you ever wonder what the emotions you store inside do?
Are they tearing flesh to flesh
or are they cleaning every ounce of your regret
I bet if you swallow poison you'll finally get
why I let you read the things I write