I think about you every single day
I miss you way more than I miss being happy
Sure, we fought allot
but is that worth all my pain and suffering?

All the tears
All the anger
All the pain
Was that worth it leaving you?
I don’t know

I lost myself last year
I got caught up in my own pain
I never even realized,
What it would do to you

I sit there in class
And I look at you
Thinking, is there anything I can do?
But yet again, will we fight?

The one thing that's holding me back
Do I have the will to go back to you?
Most importantly, do you want to
This is your choice

I know I was stupid
I know I was wrong
All those letters, I lost myself in them
I wish I could fix that

Can we fix what’s broken?
Will you trust me again?
Can I believe you won’t hurt me?
I don’t know

It’s too hard to forget the unforgettable
The past is never the past to me
People told me to move on, forget about it
I told them no

You mean way too much to me
I can’t live another second without you
Give me a chance to show you, I’ve changed
Give me a second chance
I’ll do anything
I would die to have that chance again
You are my everything

If you say no, I’ll cry every night
If you say yes, things will change
I had to leave to back then, it wasn’t my choice
And I know, deep inside, you would come back
That’s just who you are

Some people tell me to stop
I will never stop
I’m nothing without you

Please forgive me, for everything
I was wrong
Nothing was right
I can’t stand avoiding my friends because of you
Forgive me, please

No one ever gets why I do what I do
I just wish that someone can see all my pain
That one person I wished to see it never did
And now I’m left here alone and confused

That one person who I trusted so much left
Now I can’t tell what’s wrong from right
She meant the world to me
She left so suddenly
It was so stupid
I’m left here to cry myself to sleep

Everyone tells me not to cry but they never know why I do
They wonder what’s behind my walls
What am I hiding from them?
I’m hiding everything from everyone

That is left unexplained
They always ask me why I’m so distant
I never tell them why
I’m afraid of the things that I have to hide
My problems are like an untouched checklist
Never to be solved
Never to be completed
It just sits there making me feel horrible

There so lucky
They don’t know my dark side
The side that they don’t see in me
The one person that will never show
They will never know

I was always left to fight my battles alone
I constantly struggle through everything
I thought I was going to get some soldiers along the way but no
No one to pick me up when I fall down
No one to really understand,
Who I truly am
Everyone has their own dark side
But what am I?

there were times that I actually had hope,
that was months ago
there was times when I was happy,
that was years ago
there was a time that I had REAL friends,
that was a while ago

but hope, where did you go?

I started off this year with hope, refilled hope,
and day by day, i lost it piece by piece
it was like you were slowly fading away
but really, where did you go?

I had promised myself that it would get better,
and soon enough, i lost you, hope
through every teardrop every bad day,
i was loosing you
and then, i realized it would never get better

where did you go?

when everyone left me, you did too
when i lost you, i lost myself too
i was never happy, never laughing or smiling
because of you, my life is pointless

seriously, where did you go?

i've got quite a story,
its all i have left
its full of pain, not glory,
its the one i have kept

its got twists and turns with that occasional up and down
but yet, i'm still around
through pain and unhappiness i have found,
nothing is worth it

does anyone get it?
does anyone see the pain in my crystal  blue eyes
anyone there to cheer me up?
anyone there to help me out?
i guess not

there are life stories of happiness,
marriage and finding love,
winning gold medals and following your dreams
being the best you can be at everything
but my story was a tragedy

you hear about those stories with happy endings
for me, that's not true
not every story can  have a happy ever after

did you ever wonder if everything about your life is a lie?
that everyone you would lie to you when they say,
"i'll never leave you" or " best friends forever"
did you ever think they would leave you behind?

after that, when your just talking to some random passer by,
they say the ever oppressant lies,
" it gets better" or "just stay strong"
those are lies too

and then there are point where your heart and brain lie
saying that maybe, things will turn around
guess what? your own body LIES
all of that, is a bunch of ****

all that ****, its my life
the people i love backstabbing each other
my parents protecting me from the other
they say that the other one is a monster
people leaving and never coming back
having no one to understand

i'm just living in a dark pit of shame and terror,
living in constant fear
and somehow, hearing all that **** people say when saying,
" it gets better"

just makes me know its all a LIE

cause it NEVER gets better,
not in my life time

why oh why can't I forget
everything we had, everything we did together
i tried so hard to get it out of my mind
but yet, I can't move on
why is it so hard to forget?

the feeling of this is so annoying,
i want to curl up in a ball and die
nothing else is worth it
i hate that i can't forget

they all say that it eventually gets better
everyone says that i'll move on
but as life goes on, nothing changes
things are much worse than before

as my feelings get worse and I can't forget,
i just want everything to end
maybe none of this was worth it,
cause i can't move on

if i can't forget, nothings worth it at all