SLICE MY SKIN
WHAT A SIN
WASH THE PAIN AWAY
AND CRY EVERYDAY
BLOOD COVERS MY ARM
FROM THE SELF HARM
RAZOR BLADES
IN A DAZE
MY BODY IS SCARS
AND I HAVE DREAMS WHERE IM RUN OVER BY CARS
I MUST PASS OUT
WITHOUT A DOUBT
THATS THE ONLY WAY I'LL SLEEP
BUT FOR NOW I WEEP
I HAVE SORROW TO LEND
BUT THIS IS MY END

YOU FLAUNT YOUR 'SADNESS' LIKE IT WAS A NEW SWEATER
YOU THINK ITS COOL TO BE DEPRESSED
YOU THINK THAT ITS A WAY TO LIVE
A LIFESTYLE TO MAKE FRIENDS,
WELL YOURE RIGHT
ITS QUITE THE STATEMENT
BUT YOU SHOULDNT BE PROUD TO SCAR YOUR BODY
ITS NOT COOL TO SULK IN BLOOD AND TEARS
SO GET OVER YOURSELF AND FIND A NEW HOBBY
MOVE ON TO THE NEXT BOLD TREND

you smoke a pack a day
trying to **** yourself in a less dramatic way
fighting tears
and losing years
your life is bad
i know your sad
i know your down
i know that frown
let me in your mind
ill be kind
ill tidy the mess
your tears will soon be less

I'm so weak
For I have not eaten for 3 days
I wanted to be lovely for you
I got sick of all the extra skin
93 pounds
This could be much less
I fear I might pass out
I must hold out
As I begin to shake
Or dispose of the food I'll ingest before it makes a difference
I hope you notice I'm trying really hard for you
I hope you still think I'm beautiful
Even if I don't
(AG)

Have you ever had one perfect moment?
You look around and see nothing wrong with what's happening
You forget everything
And enjoy the people around you
Imagine this
My perfect moment
In a car
Darkness consumed the view outside the frosty windows
Yellow streetlights were glowing
Our faces slightly illuminated, by the pale distant moonlight
A loving arm around me
Singing
Screaming at the top of our lungs
Casually sneaking in kisses
Crisp winter air seeping in from the windows
Each strike of the piano in this song brings me one second closer to the end of my jubilant moment
I'm running out of time
This worries me
Once the song is over
Problems will take over my mind once again
Pain will consume my thoughts
I only have a few seconds left of bliss
So I take it in
Five
Slow breath
Four
Look at his perfect smile
Three
We are about to get out of this car
Two
Tender kiss
One
Back into hard reality
But every time I hear that song
I get to be reminded of how it was
How perfect the moment is
How truly happy I can be.

BROUGHT A BLADE TO THE CABIN BECAUSE WHO AM I WITHOUT IT?
SHARP METAL EDGE WHO IS NOW A PART OF ME JINGLING AROUND IN MY SUITCASE.
EVERYONE IS SLEEPING NOW SO IT'S OUR TIME TO BE TOGETHER.
TREMBLING HANDS NO MORE; NOW AS I AM SO FAMILIAR WITH THIS I DONT WORRY.
GRACEFUL FINGERS REACH INTO THE TOP LEFT POCKET OF MY BAG.
I GRAB IT FROM RIGHT WHERE I LEFT IT AND SMIRK IN THE DARKNESS LOOKING DOWN AT MY LOVELY FRIEND.
I WOULDNT WANT TO WAKE ANYONE SO I'LL SLIP OUTSIDE AND SPRAWL DOWN BY THE WATER.
THE END OF THE DOCK NOW ACTS AS MY HOME WHILE I SLICE THROUGH MY ROUGH SKIN AND LET THE RED DROPLETS POLLUTE THE QUIVERING LAKE.
NOT EVEN CRYING, READY TO BE DONE WITH MY BITTER LIFE I HURL MY NUMB SOUL ONTO THE BOAT IN SEARCH OF THE ANCHOR AND ITS ROPE.
BUT IT'S HARD WHEN YOUVE LOST SO MUCH BLOOD AND LOST YOUR WILL TO MOVE.
BLACKNESS FADES IN AND OUT THREATENING TO FOIL MY SELF-LOATHING PLANS.
FALLING HELPLESSLY INTO THE SEA WHILL DO THE TRICK.
THE ***** WATER GREW UP WITH ME AND IM HAPPY TO USE IT FOR MY END.
BUT HOW TO DO IT WITH OUT MAKING A SPLASH OR WAKING MY DEAR FRIENDS?
I CANT WRITE A NOTE BUT MY MIND IS SCREAMING THAT I NEED TO MAKE MY MARK THEREFORE I CARVE MY NAME IN ROUGH LETTERS ON THE EDGE OF THAT DOCK.
BUT BEFORE I CAN CONCLUDE MY MISERY IM INTERUPED BY MY WORRISOME FAMILY AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON, WHAT IM PLANNING, WHAT IVE DECIDED, AND HOW I FEEL.
SO I SMILE TO MYSELF AND LAUGH AT THEIR INNOCENCE.
THAT SUMMER NIGHT I WENT BACK INSIDE AND FELL BACK INTO SLUMBER WISHING I DIDNT AND HOPING NOT TO WAKE UP.
(A.G.)

Your 18th birthday is tomorrow
Some may call that the most important birthday
But you're too sad to enjoy it
You'll be spending your special day lying on a cold metal bed
Itchy sheets
In a hospital
A hospital for people like you
People who find life to hard to live
I feel so much sorrow for you
We get to throw you a party
It will last 50 minuets
That's all the time we are allowed to visit
We will bring you a cake
It's not the same though
No balloons; the popping noise scares the patients
No candles; you might burn yourself out of spite
No laughs; everyone is scared to offend you
No pictures; you feel you're too horribly ugly and don't want to remember this
You're my role model, my sister
And you're becoming an adult
But you could care less
You've grown up but what does that matter when you feel life isn't worth living
It hurts me to see you in this pain,
To see your weak hand grasping out for my gentle embrace
When your perfection is fragile and broken, who do you turn to?
Who now will offer me comfort?
Your birthday is ruined and I did nothing to stop that.
And for that I am buried in fiery guilt
A blazing roar of self-loathing
For I knew you were sad and I did little to save you
And I'm more than sorry
So I'll cry for you
And then beg for your forgiveness
(AG)