Hearing your smile still took my breath way
Even if it was just for a second
But I no longer have to breathe
Since my heart is missing

Each time you break me
I feel a little more alive

I would steal the light of all the stars in the sky
Just so I could those eyes light up

Lost
Once again I reach to you, site of poets and dreamers.
Once again I call upon your strength to assist me through the dark and lonely nights.
Once I was here, among the poets but I had to erase the memories.
The lies.
The truths.
All so that one soul could have the privacy she wanted.
I willingly gave it up,not knowing the urges of needing to write.
So I request an invitation,
a doorway of light in the path of an unknown future.
No more shall I look for others than they shall look for me.
For I am merely a blade of grass amongst the flowers.
I used to inscribe my life into these pages almost everyday.
This is a place where I can be myself,
even if I don't know who that is anymore.
I ask you,
can I,
once again be another poet amongst the dreamers and writers?

A v e r a g e

6 letters in the first and 7 in the latter
one letter missing, one step closer to becoming that dreaded word
It's not that I am, or I am not
It's how I feel
Not good enough to be noticed
yet not bad enough to be forgotten
Stuck in between
How liminal

Hell, maybe I'll even become mediocre
Never more
Never less

You and I

I like those carnivorous butterflies that eat you from the inside out
They look beautiful at first until you realize the red color of their wings isn't just for decoration
Their little mouths of sharp teeth are hardly noticable
But then you look down and see a hole in your body
and you ask yourself how you didn't notice it
You were too busy looking at the butterflies that  you didn't see them eat your heart out

1 **Live

Your eyes leave a fiery impression on mine
Your kisses leave a trail of fire on my skin
Your words of romance leave a warm sensation within me
Please
Just burn with me

I let people use me for my brain because that's the only time I feel important
I feel needed
Which is a lot more than I've ever felt from anyone
Especially you

Love is for the hopeless
Who still have hope

A Capricorn
A Cancer
You know what other word begins with a c?
Catastrophe

The worst part of wishing upon a star
Is knowing some stars are billions of light years away
And a few stars are already dead before I even make my wish

Let's make a deal
If a roll a die and it lands on 6 I'll spill everything like one
spills blood if you angle it wrong
If I roll anything else I'll lock it away along with my insecurities
Boy never get tired of those

Rolls die and slow mo starts, with the camera zooming in on the cube as if the outcome actually matters

Oh look at that a 6
Guess someone is confessing tonight
Never said who I would spill it to

Hey lower being, time for reason 4562 of why I'm a terrible person

I'm just bored of missing you
It's all I ever do

I think if I was ever with someone
I would touch their eyelids
Or the back of their knees
Places that aren't regularly touched
To remind them that I'm different
I really am
I think

I tremble when you are near
Since you remind me how easy it is to break me

I can't stop thinking
About those eyes
That crooked smile
Mane of curly hair
Sweet,deep voice
So I don't think
Empty space is what I prefer

Make me laugh after I cry
Every day
Just at least once in forever

I have a phobia
Of you
And I swear to God
I still keep wanting more

Stop trying to talk to me in my dreams
It makes me believe they're real

Let's write about something else
With words such as success,
school, friendship, family
just anything else
what is the point of writing if it's always the same thing
I erase and erase, the words won't leave
vampire, fangs, sauce, democrats, hemicorporectomy
anything else, please
it's laughable
I'm trying to avoid writing about the same thing
but it never changes

You're happier aren't you ?
I know there's always someone new
I don't allow myself to look at any of your photos
I don't need evidence when I know the truth
Just know, I'll be waiting for you
Happier if you ever come back

People keep asking me what I want

Every time I say nothing

For how can you get something that never existed?

Like *us

How do I get to Heaven
Without losing a piece of me
How do I get love
Without giving up something
How do I get to be happy
Without being sad

Monsters weren't always monsters
They had dreams
They had families
Most of all, they had hearts
They were just walking one day when the wind changed
A sight for sore eyes appeared in their vision
Black hair framed their face
Glasses smudged
And a smile so wide it opened that chasm deep inside
They fell in love
Fell out of love
Cried a river and nobody drank
Sang song of fury
And nobody listened
Had a broken heart that nobody mended
Drank a poison that nobody cured
Since then a monster

The things we do for love
Aren't the things we do for others

It's not love
It's idealization
Thats what it is
You see ,I keep on creating these little clips
These movies really
Where you come in, or call
More like text since you don't like direct confrontation
Where you ask me for another chance
Another go
But you've never been the one to do that
Maybe once in the summer long ago
Life changes you though
I'm ready to meet someone else
And I've tried
Another boy I tried to make mine
It's not love
It's not love
I swear
I'm too young
I'm too naive
I'm too me to be in love

I can't wait to leave
to be far beyond your reach
you won't be able to touch me
talk to me
influence me in any sort of way
this body won't tremble again in your presence
this heart will not quicken and defy the laws of rhythm
I'll be states away, maybe even a country
for years and years

I can't wait to leave and come back to you

"Take your broken heart,
make into art"

Let's go back in time

Back when time stood still
When the clock hand slowed to a stop
Your darling eyes frozen in forever
Lips meeting in the dark
Sweet-nothings uttered

Let's go to now in time

Now when time is running away
Hundreds of miles away from each other
Only one of us is still haunted
Christmas spirit all around
Uncertainty in all of us

Let's go forward in time

Times open its arm, waiting to greet us
Years have passed with seconds ticking by
Hearts mended and broken
Happily ever afters for some
Say your goodbyes and be done
Staying was never an option

Let's go somewhere in time*

Where my heart  is always broken

In the night
In the day
In the dreams
In the memories
But I never wake

A flashlight covers a wide range of subjects
A laser hones in on one
You covered me with your entire body
But you only took my heart
I'm stuck in the darkness
Without you by my side
Why must you be my only source of light?

People want to read good poetry
Scratch that
People want to relate to poetry
Doesn't matter if it rhymes
Or has many lines
Doesn't have to make sense
Or be the poison to God and puzzle to infinity of time of the begging and the end
There just has to be a resonance
A connection between their life and the words on any page
Good poetry
Bad poetry
There's no difference
It's just poetry

You're on the tip of my tongue
But I can't remember what I'm suppose to feel
Like something important I forgot to do
Only it's been a year of this feeling

You believe in a higher being just so you can believe in yourself

I have nothing left to write about since you became nothing to me
There goes all my poetry

Once a boy danced,
And danced and danced
To the music of his own heart
He was not particularly skilled or good at all
But he felt joy when he moved his body to any sound in the air
then another boy joined him in his dancing
though they never quite touched
The second boy was aloof in his dancing
His movements never quite as true as the first
He never got too close or too far
Kept the boy's eyes on him enough for him not to look at anything else
As if scared or shrouded in another emotion besides joy
The first boy never stopped dancing
not even when the second boy stopped
stopped and left him alone
He danced and danced and danced
His arms became a blur
His tears leaked and dried
His heart stopped
He kept dancing to no music at all

A lifetime ago, you were my life
But now, you're just someone I use to pass the time

When I was a kid and scared of thunder
My mom use to tell me that lighting was God taking pictures
The static of our palms meeting is a lot like lighting
Never knew pictures could ****

Someone once told me that every 7 years
All our cells are destroyed and replaced
That one day I'll have a body that has never been touched by you
But my heart still is touched
Still marked by the claws of your love

The Day of Love is fast approaching
I only noticed it today
Another year of self-love
I don't think it's that bad
Being alone is what I'm good at
Well more of mediocre if I'm being honest

Be the music to my ears
Just like you're the answer to my tears

You remind me of what is and what isn't
What could be and what can't be
You remind me of the times that our love was so strong and loud that it made the angels realize that they were not the only angelic beings on this earth
You remind me of the times you took my heart and kissed it , then tossed it away with another kiss as well down the infinite well of despair
You remind me of the times that your heart was so cruel even the demons down below noticed, not because it an act of atrocity or bloodshed but rather the continuous act of eradicating hope within someone
Some might argue that's the greatest crime of all, ridding someone of hope during light and dark times
For how can anyone continue on without hope in their life
But that is another story to tell
You remind me of what we are
You, a being of action
And me, a mere observer to any action
You create the music your soul sings, written on pieces of paper as if they were your everyday journal you carry with you every you go
Carrying your darkest secrets that you only let people get glimpses of
I , on the the hand , read
For anyone's story is worthy of reading  save mine
They can teach you a lesson no matter how bleak or bright the ending may be
From the girl who went out too late at night and never came back
To the boy that completed his tasks of bravery and married the princess, he lived happily ever after by the way
What have you taught me ?
Nothing save one thing
I'm still utterly and completely in love with you
And what can I learn from that ?

Why are you alway behind ?
You're moderate
Average
Nothing special
Good at everything
You can't do anything right can you
Everything you do is nowhere near enough
Nor it ever will be
Look at the mirror
Ha!
It's already broken

I have butterflies inside my stomach
Whenever I talk to you
Only thing is
They have started eating me alive from the inside

New me
New heart
Hopefully

The hype of living
makes me not want to live

I was on the precipice of falling in love
And I turned away

You know I might not to be able to ever get over you
But I'll be dammed if I don't try to unshackle myself from these chains
And if that's the case, I'd rather live shackled than willingingly on my knees