I like symmetry
No scratch that
I need symmetry
When my right hand is cold
My left has to be as well
When I've bitten one nail
I must do the same to the other
Some find it weird
I'd rather think it makes sense
in a world that doesn't have any logic in its buzzard ways  
My face isn't equal
Have 3 freckles in the shape of triangle on the right side of my face
To say it irks me would be an understatement
I want symmetry for everything except when it comes to writing of course
Not as ambidextrous as I would like to think I am
I really do need symmetry
So I guess that's why when you broke my heart
I've been trying to break yours since then

Today I talked with a friend,
you were in my head but I prevailed and did not mention you in the least
However, she brought you up and you became the subject of everything again
So it's not my fault you're still in my head, it's everyone else's

The water keeps rising and I keep dying
I'm clawing to the surface , the chains at my feet keep me from leaving
The air is gone and darkness takes me
I open my eyes and see I'm above ground
but I'm still drowning

My friend today mistook a paper bag for a cat
I cried of laughter
I mistook you for someone who cared
I just cried

Forgive my sins
I didn't realize loving him
Went against everything I believed in

Stop romanticizing love
It's how the word love has positive connotation in the first place

I wish you wouldn't look for me in my poems
Contrary to popular belief,
I wish you would look for yourself in them

I walked right into it
I seldom walk into any trap as a matter of fact
I have led myself to a painful, agonizing death
Defenseless and vulnerable that's all I am in this moment

                                                 I walked into the room, my eyes like lasers                
                                         ­                             automatically locked onto you

The sand stars swallowing my feet and I begin to panic
My heartbeat accelerates in tempo as if it was an instrument following the music of my eventual demise and sorrow
I begin to scream, wail, sob as I plead for help
Reason appears to end my plight
Logic starts weaving its web inside my head as I try to come up with a plan to escape

                                               Our eyes accidentally meet across the room

The sand is up to my  thighs now
Reason leans over to toss me a rope and trips
He falls into the sand and is swallowed in an instant
His burden of knowledge too heavy to save him now
Any hope escapes me now and I struggle not to just end it right now

                                                I accidentally touch your hand and quickly
                                   recoil as sparks ignite and travel over my skin        

Fear darts into the scenery, agitated and shaking he pauses at the situation
Picking up where his predecessor left off, he tosses the rope and I catch it
Hope renews in me once more, a chance of surviving this ordeal is getting bigger by the second
I grasp it the rope tightly and pull to let him know it's safe to pull me out now
Unfortunately, fear has never been strong enough to face himself or anyone else and my little pull drags him down with me

                                          Your arms envelop me, warm and comforting
                           as I breathe in your scent. I don't wish to be anywhere
                                                                ­                            else right now.


I stare in horror at what I've done, all that is left of him is a tiny bubble that quickly pops
There is no escape
This is no dream
This is my close
My resolution
Hate in her pale gown appears at my side, floating over the sand that is now up to my chest

                                             Our lips met and galaxies were created and
                                         destroyed. Stars came alive, the ocean rose up
                                      to meet the sky. Everything lasted forever right
                                                          ­                                 then and there

She takes in my tear stricken face, the light in my eyes slowly dying out like a candle as each second passes
She places her warm and on my cheek and the other on my shoulder as if to hold steady of what was to come
Then she pushes
Me
Down
The sand is now up to my chin as she takes her hands off and begins to float away
I try to find the strength to lift my arms but I cannot
I thought that she out of everyone would help me
She is the opposite of why I'm here in the first place

                                                       You whisper those tragic three words

The sand takes me completely
I cannot breathe
Someone grabs my hand
I recognize whose hand it is
The twin sister of Hate
                                                Love­

2 sides of the same coin

                   *And that's what it felt like to fall in love with you

Kiss me like I'm different
From everyone else you've kissed
Love me like you've never loved anyone
Break me me in ways I haven't been broken before

What I thought I wanted before I met you

My resolution this year
Get my heart back
Even if it means taking yours

I wish I could talk about you
But there's nothing to talk about

Be the angel in my devil's soul
I'll be the devil in your heart
Play my heart like a harp
While I toy with your mind
Lift me up to the starlight of heaven
And I'll drag you to the barren land of hell
Took me a while to realize,
that our roles are reversed

I think I have discovered something important
Something phenomonal
Gravity brings you in, pulls you down with its long reach
There is no force in the existence that does the opposite of that in any way
But I have found that love is the reverse of gravity
All it does is push the people close to me away
Repulse them really

We gazed upon the sea of stars
Truth be told I have never seen constellations
These figures that everyone else can see
Made up of simple lines that create a story
I don't see it
Oh but you do
You say there's billions upon billions of stars in the sky
You claim that for each star you can cite a reason why you love...
I choke on my own hope and love
Her

Now I have billions upon billions of reasons why you don't love me

I like short poems
because they reflect life
Killed in an instant
Born in the next

I'm still scared of you

Your kiss speaks more than your words
Especially when it's with someone else

LUST
I've been touched by someone else
I felt nothing
Curiosity grew into lust
Lust faded away into nothing
I felt nothing
Is it me
Is it you
Is it nothing
Have you been touched
Have your thighs been spread
Has your mouth been opened with a searing kiss that made eyes blink back
HATE
I think I loved you
Is what it was
Now I don't know what it has turned into
love
I'd rather not say anything on the subject except for one thing
It's a fool's errand for a king to give something that only belongs to him
And I don't know which one I am
Longing
But I don't miss you
I really don't
Only for today

Nightmares are my only consolation after seeing you again
Dreams are my torture when I don't

I'm here alone in my room
The lights turned and the only sound you can hear is one from the ceiling fan
It's not a special day nor happy day
Nor a sad day
Just a regular ol day
One of the few times I'm truly alone
And I miss you

Your love may be continuous
But only as a straight line
Although that's dumb because all lines are straight
Much like how you claim to be
Everyone I look at the derivative
The instantaneous rate of change of your love
I find that it's always zero
A constant really
Your words are true yet your heart is not
Not matter how many graphs or formulas I use
It's always 0

'Tis a fool to say to be happy is to be in love
'Tis a genius to realize that to be in love is to be happy

You are not new
These feelings will never fade
Just be replaced with someone else
I'll watch from a distance like I do
Too scared to say a thing
But too stubborn to let go
That's romance for me

I look at you and I look at me
I wonder how we ever came to be
Both of us posses  bad eyesight and a slender figure
We both aspire to become something bigger
You left and I stayed
That is the story of today
But tomorrow holds something too
I will leave to a place far away from you

I like the way you say my name
By passing it between our lips with a kiss

Let Heaven storm down upon us when you break me
And Hell lift us when I recover

I don't need another being to create beauty
My sadness creates enough beauty for both
I don't see any of your writing in mine

We painted galaxies with our hands
Stars were created when we opened our eyes
Black holes that **** up everything started when we kissed
Planets collided and meshed together as we fumbled in bed
Asteroid after asteroid
A non stop rain of them
We shouted our words of love to the sky above
Comets of first-times cleared a path through the clouds
Small spats appeared as craters in irregular shape
Cuz darling no one is perfect
And the universe was created when we broke apart

Is knowing when to end it

You

Do you remember that Rose he got you for your birthday ?
Or was it Valentine's Day ?
It's a bit hazy
It looked so beautiful
...for an ordinary girl
Never been a fan of roses have you ?
So generic for a guy to get a girl a rose
He didn't even know you didn't like flowers
But you loved him nonetheless
After all, first boyfriends only happen once
So you kept that Rose , treasured it actually
It served as a memento of your time together
2 weeks went by, the soft petals remained
2 months passed and you got into a fight with him
But you stayed because you were too scared to loose him
The Rose grew and grew until its vines curled around you neck and choked the beauty out of you
It took the ambition
The purpose of your life
The dreams you once had when you were young
It's been 2 years and you're still with him
Working night shifts to keep him from giving up and take those acting classes
After he changed his major 3 times
It's been 2 decades and he comes home late
You don't ask why or dare ask yourself why you put up with it
There's a bit of lipstick on his cheek and you haven't worn any since the last time he took you out
8 years ago
You don't venture outside because why would you
What's out there ? More Roses to keep until they take something out of you too
You regret keeping that Rose and tried to throw it away
But its thorns stop you from even picking it up
They pierce into your skin so deep they touch bone
You do what you swore you would never would do
You swallow that Rose
Every thorn and every petal
You choke and tears come into your eyes
But you don't spit it out
You gulp it down and lie down
That's how they find you
Beautiful and dead

I think many people confused sadness with depression
In an age where it is a competition to see who has it tougher
Who tried to **** themselves more
How many relatives and friends died around you
Whoever cries the most wins
As if troubled lives will pave the way to success
Whoever is sad is treasured because they might have the potential to be the next big hit

Sadness is getting a bad quiz grade
Sadness is teenage angst
Sadness is rejections by the boy you kinda accidentally met eyes with a couple of times

Life is full of ups and downs
It is statistically and scientifically impossible to be happy for all your life
You have to go down at some point , just like you have to go up

Sadness is knowing you'll get back up

Depression is something else entirely

Sadness is not knowing you'll be happy , you just don't know how
Sadness is not something you carve into your skin
Sadness is not pretending to be dead while your thoughts wreak havoc inside your mind, leaving it a battlefield

Depression is sitting in the back of a huge auditorium trying to watch what's going on stage but all you can do is zoom in to blurred images
Depression is not ending your life because it's too difficult
Depression is thinking you don't have a life to end

Understand the differences

If I were to hold your hand in my long skeletal fingers
Hold you tight against my thin body
Kiss you with my chapped lips
Whisper to you in a hoarse voice
Would you stay then ?

We're all made of that same cosmic dust
All of us are made of each other
Linked to our very fiber of being
So you still carry a part of me as I do you
In the galaxies of moons and planets
We still are one

Are any of you ever lonely?
Typing everything you're feeling to end the pain?
the most humane wish there is, no pain
I imagine, no I know, loneliness to be a white maze
everywhere you go it's white
and you're the only black dot on the map
People turn to white, cars turn into a white, everyone around you
Even words turn to white
Your thoughts leave you as well and become the light that shines on the maze
It's so loud with silence it's deafening
The quiet is too **** loud
Alone with everywhere to go

Be my wings so I can rip them off
Be my wings in order for me to fall
Be my wings to stop me from flying  
And I'll be your ground to let you go