I lay here every night
Talking to non-existent voices
And they always understand,

Sometimes they'd laugh along,
Other times they'd cry so long;
Sometimes they are really loud
Other times quietened by a shroud.

But sometimes I wish
There'd be this
Other bed with
Another girl or boy
Probably older than I
And he/she would be down there
Nodding or
Getting an anxious look on
The face

And when they hear me out,
They'd rush towards me and
Grab hold of me in their arms
Repeating over and over again
"It's okay, I'm here. It's over..."

And I would truly
Have felt warmth and love
And I'd really be able to have
A real shoulder
To cry on

And maybe, then I wouldn't have to
Pretend every day and every night
That I have this
Warm loving family in my head
And though they disagree quite often
They'd still stick together
No matter what

Maybe then
I wouldn't have to
Cry writing this poem
Just wishing
Once again
I had a

Somebody

I'm falling down that rabbit hole
This love has taken its toll
Drifting through this swirling abyss farther down
I finally spot the ground
Feet planted firmly
A bustling tea party
Offer me a drink
Just a spot, the tea cups clink
Filled with who knows what
I want to run but
I'm growing
Overflowing
I need to find you
You'll know what to do
To get me out of this mad, mad, world inside
Without you, I can only run and hide
You are my bravery to help me defeat
The monsters I must beat
To get back to reality
The cat told me I must find my sanity
Without you it's not there
Just ask the March Hare
I'm mad without you by my side
Much like the hatter who uses his hat as a ride
Can't you see we're late?
For a very important date
We must get back now
We have no time to figure out how
We'll fight our madness together
Get out of this world forever
Fight the jabberwocky
To find the key
Back reality with you by my side
You are my bravery, my sanity, my pride

Its your smile...
That tickles my heart
and makes me smile too
Its your eyes..
That gazes too long
and makes me blush
my cheeks pink and red
Its your stare
That kills me
my heart stops to breathe
for a moment or two
Its your voice
That whispers I hear
Every waking hour
Your voice sounds so near
Its your jokes
That I remember most
Every time I remember us..
spending time together
Its your touch
That lingers too long
The fingerprints I can't erase
Its your lies..
That sweet lies I couldn't bear
Your disguises and your lies
Tore my heart in two...
Its the memories
That sweetest moments
That bitterness and pain
The knowledge that life has to go on...
Its the strength... I need
to move on....

under the stars
we danced the last dance of the night
to some slow tune
we danced the last dance of the night
just the two of us on the ballroom floor
with the ball spinning a world full of glittering stars
as the bargirl washed the glasses
and smiled at our soul to soul kisses
and as well bid her our fare thee well's
and walked cross the gravel lot
a breeze kicked up and unbound us
from reality
so we could sail home on a ship of dreams

i gathered her in my arms
and the world was light as air
we strayed along the streets
so quiet with slumber
and our shadows fell upon our door
like homecoming

she kissed me
and held herself there in my arms for a moment
as if to capture the fleeting moment
its frail wings beating soft and slow
and it is perfumed by her laugh
which is sleepy
and is followed by a trail of mumbles
like cowboys following the stars
like sheep playing in endless fields of fence
i followed them on down
and roped in the moon
set her in the bed
with its scent of roses and patchouli

she breaths softly here next to me tonight
bewildered that i should be so fortunate
to have such angels of beauty in my life
so we dance well into eachothers dreams tonight
with smiles for the
soul to soul kisses

in an ancient temple
under a taurus moon
you showed me your feathers
with pride, as if my flaming hair
could not consume them.

today you brought no water but
flew from it, you betrayed the
constellation that ascended the
horizon at the moment of your birth.

and how did you convince
a priestess of fire to offer you saline
streams amidst your drought?
it must have been aphrodite crawling
in skorpios, it must have been ****
amphetamine mania, it must have been the milky
way my owl mother raised me.

and if by chance it was your fingers commanding
chords, if it was the scar upon your
chest, if it was your moth-lust, your
keen prose, your wolven lunar howl,
then i have been stung once more while playing
in the poison. it was likely just my
horns itching for your ex's over
powdered eyes. it was probably my god of war
demanding human sacrifice.

you ill-fated soul, how you must thirst now
in glucose starved darkness. don't you know i float
freely in deep lakes beneath the caves?

don't you know a python chokes a whooping crane with pleasure?

I step into my bathtub, my blue skin steaming as it hits the water,
hoping its hot enough to sear off the ***** feeling your touch left,
but god knows I’ve tried so many times and I still can’t peel back my
pruned skin afterwards to reveal the innocence I once wore,

I stay up until I physically can’t. I try to focus on the constant taste of ***** or blood in my mouth at night to keep my mind from bringing back the phantom scent of lukewarm beer and menthol cigarettes when I close my eyes.

My head is flooding (I think you’re the reason I only ever drink liquor, but I know you’re the reason I scowl at people who smoke Newport 100s) I am disgusted- No. I am disgusting, you made me disgusting.

I can’t let go of this fear of no control, because when you held power you pushed my limits far past their breaking point and even then I was too weak, too weak to say no, too afraid I’d be the one condemned.

You eradicated every rule and broke me and it’***** me harder now than ever, because the dust rose after you leveled me.

Now I can see you as the monster you are, now I just wish I was numb.

- S.G.