it's almost 2am.
these pictures are helping me remember
the bitter cold,
the snow in west virginia.
the scarves you made,
the silver necklaces you wore.

the heart i left.
and the wings i broke.

how young we were then.
what little we knew then
about living, about loving.
most of all about letting go.

the moon shines bright
so alone in that great big, black sky.
i wonder if it ever feels like i do.

and i wonder if anyone can hear me anymore.

when you were made,
your bones were dipped in gold.
your hair formed from the grass in the sea.
you washed up, still breathing
but i found you too late.

there are things i've loved too fondly.
the cool kiss of summer's rain
the first day of spring
high tide sweeping across my feet.

much like you, they come and they go.

sometimes when you break things
you keep a few pieces around
to remember what you loved when it was whole,
to remember how you felt when you broke it.

i washed my bones clean but now the rivers all dried up
you dreamed my whole wide world and i saw it in your eyes
pale at first then deeper blue
i stood at the edge and the water swallowed me.

all i have ever done is hide.
hands sewn in pockets, veins tied in two
you said that love was black and white
but i added in the red and blue.
initials carved into my arms
the names burned across my tongue
until i hate the taste
of being used.

the darkness came.
it stole almost everything.
one day it asked if i could spare a little more.
it kept asking.
every day the voice grew louder and louder.
so loud that i began to give freely.
i gave and gave.

i invited the dark thing in,
to see all that i had hidden away.
i smiled at the new friend i had made.

year after year, it came to visit.
then one day i wondered how the sun would feel. i stumbled out toward the light but the darkness ran after me.
it ******* my hands and took the key.

the breaking heart
the dreadful night
i know what's next and that winter
will never really leave.
i lie here, wrapped up
this blanket fused into my bones
can i ever escape?

you said to endure every ******* season
every word you ever spoke split my skull in two
can you see it now? the part of me i can't change?
i bleed out but feel nothing.

winter is slowly killing me.

summer, bring my heart back in one piece.