I just want to find someone,
Who understands my need.
To wrap myself up tight with them-
And disappear inside their soul,
Find comfort in the girlfriend role,
I play.

Take me in and hold me close,
Keep away the ghosts,
Of my past and my future.
Because they take me ever nearer to the edge.

I need to feel wanted,
Or else I might just fade away.
Float on into the forgotten world of the discarded,
Part of the land of misfit toys and broken things that no one wants to see.

Gaze upon my face,
Is it empty?
Or is it full of emotion you just don't want to read?

Please just let me lay here,
With my face against your chest,
Your hands wrapped around me;
Tuck me in right against your breast,
And rock me, softly, to sleep.

To **** myself or not **** myself, that is the question
I face an existential crisis every day
I want to hurt myself
I want to bleed, to wound myself physically because I can't deal with my mental
The questions and thoughts that plague me every day
I wish I could expunge these idiot things that run through my head
The stupid ******* people that cause me grief every day
Those people are the people I live with
The people I love
The people I work with
Every mother ******* person
I wish I could live isolated
But not alone
Live in my own colony of people that understand me as well as I understand myself
I wish I could operate normally
Not over correct for every ******* small iota of every tiny moment in the ******* day
Why do I have to do everything to such an extent?
Why can't I just be happy?
Why can't I just sleep a peaceful slumber instead of tossing and turning for hours before?
I hate myself
But do I really hate myself?
Or the circumstances that I face?
This life I live is not the life I want
I want freedom
The ocean
The sand to catch these unshed tears
The cold to hit my face
And something warm to embrace
I want ***,
But do I want it for the carnal pleasure or for the way it makes me forget for a time these turmoiled emotions I deal with every instant of every ******* ******* day?
I want a partner
But I can't trust

I'm so alone
I'm so alone
I'm so alone

******* I'm alone
How do I fix this?
How do I fix me?
I'm so alone.

No one will ever know the inner core of me.
Someone save me
I wish I were dead.
Someone **** me
I wish I knew real life.

Human essence is the dirt of the earth.
We destroy,
We do not conquer.
We forget,
We all still suffer.

******* us all to the figment of our imagination that is hell.
Every ******* one of us deserves it.

Burn us in a firey pit and then crush our bones to make the cement that holds us all unwillingly together.

******* **** me so I don't have to **** myself.

Nothing makes this feeling go away. No one satiates this gnawing numbness I feel.
I am a black hole that devours every good emotion
Nothing to replace it inside this empty space within me

**** me
**** me
**** me

My life is turning upside down-
I've never felt so lost.
I ended up in places far past
The places I thought I'd crossed.

If anyone knew what it was really like inside,
This broken heart..
These hollow moments...
The lonely way I feel....

They'd know I'm almost ready,
To end these things and kneel-
On the ground in front of my grave,
Oftentimes I believe it would be incredibly peaceful.

Drown in an ocean,
Lose a fight to cancer..
Burn alive in a house ablaze-
Or end it behind the wheel.

I wish someone would end it for me and take me out of the surreal.

My heart is a glass ornament,
You are an ice pick.
The shards beneath our feet-
They are the pieces of my fragmented dreams.

I do not know reality,
My silence is my pain.
I find no comfort any longer,
I'd rather sleep again.

Show me ice cold solitude;
A blanket of neutrality.
Pause the sorrow and the ache,
Capture me in one clear burst of illumination!

A foreign land,
A foreign fate-
A catastrophic end.

Laying here...
In someone else's bed,
I think of you;
Thoughts of us dancing in my head.
I don't pay attention
To this new type of touch,
I reminisce in our old type of love.

When I hear his voice,
It sounds all wrong.
I close my eyes,
And sometimes it takes me home.
Where the sun is bright,
The sand is warm,
Your eyes are shining-
And my heart is whole.

Bring me back to you.
Take me down to the clear, deep blue.
Make me feel how I used to.
I just miss you.

Missing you-
Is not optional;
Can not be quelled though I try.
Attempt to drown it in alcohol,
**** the emotion with a pill,
Smoke a little to forget the pain-
Of being without you.

I just want to be near enough...
To hear your heart,
Smell your smell;
Be close to you and see those eyes which I dream of.

It hurts to be without you;
To know you're in the world but not in my world,
To feel this empty space where you are supposed to be.

My soul yearns for the chance to know your soul,
Longs for the opportunity to pair with you-
Match your cracks and crevices.

I want to be the patch that binds you,
The stitches that sew you tight together,
The person you dream of sleeping beside at night.

I want your warmth-
The feeling of your naked body pressed into mine in deep slumber;
The feeling of your naked body pressed into mine in deep passion-
The feeling of you.

This hope for us is strangling me,
Smothering me,
Burying me in a never ending want,
No- NEED
I feel consumed by the thought of you.
Your lips are the softest place to fall.

Electric sparks on my bare skin
His fingertips dance across my abdomen
A kiss on the lips
A kiss on the hip
I can't help but bite my fingertips.
Fireworks sparkle behind my eyelids
Colin lights them as he moves
Connected and freed
That's what he made me
Removed what was suffocating
And breathed life back into me.
Showed me red in a sea of black
He gave me my passion back
Broke the spell
He broke the curse
I could not find a single word
With four letters he shattered my world
I'll never be the same again
If I could hold you another night
I'd go and book the quickest flight.
You shot right through my thickest walls
And put my heart in a hope filled hole
Your strength shows through your tenderness
I wish I could have memorized every caress.
I miss your face in peaceful slumber,
My arms around you
My lips on your forehead
My legs tangled in yours
I'll remember each curve of your body
And the thought of you will give me deep sweet sleep.
Our lives collided and mixed and mated
What the **** have we created?
I gave you mine, you gave me yours
And now we're raw and hopeless and lost-
Your love became my greatest addiction. I wish we could have lived this edition.
There's nothing more I want from you, but facing fear and starting new.