I feel broken inside.
I feel dead inside,
No that's not right,
I wish I felt dead inside.
Some nights I put a blade to my neck.
Wishing for the courage to do it.
It's not like taking my own life,
It's just the removal of my shocked 11 year old innocence.
All that would be left would be an empty shell.
A reminder of what used to be.
I get angry sometimes,
I believe the world deserves to feel the guilt,
The guilt of being the harbinger of yet another youth's innocence.

So many faces,
So little emotion.
I look into the face,
For just a little trace of recognition.
But these are strangers,
Strangers made strange by pain.
I put all my hopes on humanity.
Not knowing if I can survive a letdown.
push me a lil' harder.
Be the wall I desperately need.
Because I hate to say it.
But I will fall down the darkest hole,
With the purest intention.

Watch me as I walk,
Can you see the silent burden I carry?
Do you see the broken man inside?
Oh how the happy hide it.
How a simple smile can deceive.
Are you choosing to ignore it,
Or do you do it out of pure ignorance.
Oh how my eyes go blank with pain,
Just as my wrists begin to stain.

Do you know what the difference between your Head & your Heart is?
Your head is a survival Mechanism,
But your heart is a crime of passion.
Always at war with each other.
Your heart tells you to pick up that gun,
Place it against your temple,
Grip the trigger,
Pull it.
Your brain tells it's time for help,
Reasons with the only thing it has,
it reasons with knowledge.
I listen to the hammer click back,
And I sit in silence as the battle wages on.
The spoils goes to the victor,
The spoils being my life.
I act on the cliche,
Listen to you're heart.
As the flash of muzzle closes in on me,
And the darkness is upon me with a bang.

I show the signs,
I wear them on my wrists,
I basically scream for help.
I just want to say thanks,
to all my friends,
To all my worthless ******* friends.
Your blind ignorance,
It's what makes this world go backwards.
It'll be the death of me.
It'll be the death of millions.
It has been the death of millions.
How can I ask you to open your eyes.
I don't have the courage to say it,
And evidently neither do you.
This world has come to a stop,
And hopefully my death will get it spinning again.

We believe we would rush to the aid of anyone,
But what about the kid that we all know dead?
We sit and watch him make his bed.
He goes to lie in it and we just act shocked.
What about the girl who sips too much?
We watch with precision as her kidneys are killed.
We count the scars while we shyly look away.
You call yourself a human being.
*******
**** your backed up morals
**** everything you believe in.
We are here to die, but can't you at least help us delay the inevitable?

I feel gone already,
I just wish i had the courage to actually be gone.
My friends want me gone,
I can tell.
Are they even friends anymore?
I guess I have to call them friends,
They're the closest things I have to friends.
They ignore me,
But they didn't always ignore me,
Which is better than all the people who have always ignored me.
I guess I really am done,
God knows i can't physically harm myself.

I sat on the ledge,
Facing away from the edge,
Not wanting to look into the fall,
Because I've looked into the fall my entire life.
He joined me there,
Asked me if I was okay.
The only reply I gave him,
Was replacing my empty palms with the cold hard steel,
He looked from the gun to me.
I watched as his face turned from shock to something resembling a realization.
He finally understood all those jokes of suicide,
Weren't jokes.
He watched it as I did,
Fearing for his life,
Not mine.
I looked at my reflection,
In the impartial steel.
Stared into the eyes of my tormentor for all these years.
I placed it against the roof of my mouth.
I looked for any sign of fear in my own self.
When I found none I pulled the trigger.
I heard nothing as I began my descent to the first floor.
A soft thud echoed as my lifeless corpse hit the unforgiving ground.
Instead of rushing for help,
My peers scurried to safety,
Leaving me alone.
Same in death,
As I was in life.
ALONE.

Follow me.
I know a secret sky.
Only the true can see it.
Lay with me,
As we search for ourselves.
As we look for new truths;
Not only within, but throughout the whole world.
As only the true can.