Oh lord, please let me confess
I know this life is just a test
but I can't seem to tell
the right from the wrong

This heaviness sits in my chest
right on the heart that you know best
and everyday I feel my soul leaving me

How do I seek you?
How do I feel you?
How do I love you from so far away?

-

Sing this to the tune of Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.... yes.

And you rest your head
To ease the pain
Because the weight of your love
Grew too heavy for your body
And left bruises, dents all over your chest
From your own hard beating heart

You close your eyes
And hum a soft tune
Of a lover miles from your reach
But while your lips sing
Your head starts wailing
Because songs only bring life to distance

And you chance upon
A face too familiar
A different song you once danced to
You feel the lush ache
Of a closed wound
And the loneliness comes in slow rhythm

You rest your head
And you hear drumming in the horizon
You are unsure of what's coming
But you try to find reason
That the written will be good
And that your sorrow will finally finish

Lay vacant in the dirt, keep licking your wounds
Tear off meat from the corpses, feed off the 'what ifs'
Waste away with ghosts of what could've been
Let yourself disintegrate along with a future that never came to be

Or

Pick yourself up. Directly apply anesthetic on the flesh. Ready the tourniquet.
Brush off the dirt. Walk through the graves.
The dead cannot be offended.
Cross over tomb stones
Step on the flowers.
The dead cannot be offended.
Leave the prayer beads
Leave the dampness of your cheeks
Leave the begging and the screaming
The dead cannot hear your prayers
The dead cannot wipe your tears
The dead cannot comfort
The dead cannot be offended


Do not dig up graves
They are dead
Leave them to rot

Walk out. All the way out.
Leave the dead where they are meant to be, and let life in.

I want to study the crevices of your palms
The palms you keep clenched in fists
I wonder if the lines were any indication
Of the tragedy you became

Once supple with hope
Touch bringing only affection
You’ve forsaken yourself
Now rough, riddled with desire

The valleys and the cracks of your far gone hands
Caressing scarlet letters, shaken and shuddering
Gripping skin, a romance black and blue
Forcing notions of love upon you

Are there signs of ******* marked upon yourself
To match the husks your vileness disfigured
Palms outstretched onto raw naked skin
Grip tightened, nails dug into unwilling hips

I want to study the crevices of your palms
Do the lines spell out names of those you see in your daze
Were they carved out as you seized their remains
Or were they born with you, sealing their fate

If only my heart had words to speak
It would tell you I am here, I am here
I give you a piece of myself
Do with it what you please

And if these hands could challenge my resistance,
They would have found their way into yours
Clumsy and nervous
Waiting for your fingers to vine into mine

If my feet led me,
They would sprint towards you
and choreograph our steps
They would not let me leave your side

But they will not, and love will not leave us
And my lips may not press onto yours,
but these dreams will suffice

For now, words are all that holds us,
and the hope of what is fate
The dancing stars in an upside down sky
and the exchange of a morning grin

And my heart cannot speak,
so heat blooms inside of my chest
but one day it will,
when we are both ready

Blindfolded. Pitch black. A hand I'm holding so hard I can't feel my fingers. You are terrifying uncertainty. An infrequent down pour to clear the desert dust, to feed life, to give love. Infrequent. Uncertain. A need, a want, a desire that comes and leaves when it pleases.

I would fall into the abyss in a heartbeat, if I heard you echoing my name from below. And I would bleed love from my fingertips and sign your initials on my skin. This is a game for fools, a thoughtless gamble fueled by pure emotion, but I would bet every last breath on you.

And when I can no longer hear your heart in sync with mine, when your feet decides to lead you away, when your hand begins to tire, I will bite my tongue and I will send you on your way.