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Annie Borisuk Mar 2014
forgotten.
that's got to be the saddest word I know.
cuz it leaves exactly enough room for hope to grow
before killing it cold and leaving it rotten.
like a **** taking up too much space in the ground
or the smile on your face being suffocated by a frown.
do you know how it feels to realize that I don't exist to you any more?
that things can never go back to the way they were before?
forgotten
means the end; no more tries.
It means that our ties didn't just bend, they broke
and no matter how hard I try to re-stoke those old fires
there's no hope
because you've already sent my memories up in smoke
without batting an eye.
I'm fading away, aren't I?
or was I ever there to start with?
Still I somehow can't bear to part with my memories of you.
It's so unfair that I'm stuck caring about you
when you never cared about me.
I have to admit I was not prepared for how devastating this would be.
My features have already started to warp and blur
and if you looked at me now you'd start to believe
that this was the way they always were.
well it's not.
forgotten is a word that fades you away
until one day you can't even remember yourself.
until one day you look in the mirror,
and no one's there.
Annie Borisuk Feb 2014
silver stars are softly shining
somewhere safe their light is leading
stop the wars and stop the fighting
let us journey home

are you lost, forlorn, and lonely?
is your courage fading swiftly?
let thy spirit not forsake thee;
home is waiting; come.

through the darkness and the shadows
heedless of the way the wind blows
undaunted by death, unstopped by sorrows
we choose the higher road

candles in the window burning
watch and wait for your returning
walk through night and into morning
don't stop til you're home
Annie Borisuk Jan 2014
Tomorrow lies in a sticky-wet puddle at my feet
And all my yesterdays are growing too heavy
Straining to burst free from the shiny pink membrane
That barely separates them
From the cruel, pointing fingers
Of the scandal-seeking crowd.
I do not wish any longer
To share in their catatonic state,
But instead I continue to climb against the raging,
Shoving current of the endless waterfall,
Alone and unafraid
Toward destiny
And I forsake without apology
The security that conformity offers.
I am no longer what I once was:
Merely another mindless piece
Of the glorious whole,
But stronger now
And the eternal clock ticks past morning
And into the crimson before midday
More deeply, infinitely more do I fear the silence
The mendicant and instant acceptance
By which the masses sully me
Than do I dread their hatred
And their offended pride;
Their glaring antipathy
Their cold rejection.
This do I know to be more certain even
Than the coming of the night:
Unless I have the courage to stand alone
I will surely see destruction
For it takes not great strength or genius
To be held ***** by the pressing
Of the single minded crowd.
And so I ascend,
Heedless of yesterday
Undaunted by tomorrow,
Leaving behind everything that is certain
Embracing instability.
Like a star I travel forward
Into the fathomless darkness
And I can't be pulled down by gravity
And I continue forever into no one knows what
But my shining path is followed
By the eyes of many
Drawing them momentarily
From their listlessness
And forcing them into temporary
And vastly uncomfortable realization.
It is the essence of courage to stand apart
And the highest measure of my worth
Lies in my willingness to be complete
Without the acceptance and accolades of mankind
Complete and content to walk alone
To be hated by all those around me.
This is my destiny.
This is my choice.
Annie Borisuk Jan 2014
Seventeen.

I barely dare to say it out loud
Just in case it might be true.
Have you ever looked into a mirror
And not been sure that face was you?
In any case it's hideous
But really what is a face?
Just some bone laced together
And covered with skin;
It can't begin to express the complexity
Of the person it hides within
But my face is growing older
And my eyes just aren't the same
As they were when I was six years young
And had never been caressed by pain.
Before my brow had felt the weight of gravity
Drag it down to shadow two lonely worlds,
Before life had complexity.
Back when I was innocent, naive.
Just a little girl.

Seventeen.

The word sticks to the back
Of my throat in tatters:
A feeling that's not remotely like excitement
But more like the way
That the darkness tastes
In the moment when light scatters
Or how it feels when a lie
You've believed in shatters
And a sliver of the hurt
Gets stuck inside you
Bleeding a bit before petrifying
Into a memory you can't escape
No matter how hard you pry
Annie Borisuk Jan 2014
It's been way too long
Since I've taken the time
To just sit with you
And say what's been on my mind

I thought I got too busy
And life got too intense
But I can feel it killing me
And I'm done with sitting on the fence

I guess that's why I'm here today
Cuz I want to see your face again
And dearly, oh so dearly do I
Want things back the way they've been

I remember how you used to be
The most important part of me
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me

I  ran away, but I didn't forget
How it felt to be yours; safe
And how everything fit

I don't know why I started trying again
To fill myself with other things
Your face growing dim

But there's nothing I regret
More that all of that time
That I spent all alone when
You could have been mine

And there's nothing I could ever do
To make all of that up to you
But I don't need to
I don't need to

Now I am home
And you have called me Forgiven
And as long as you stay near to me
I'll never want to run away again

Cuz I searched the whole world
From the highest mountain to the sea
But I never found anyone, anything
That compares with your beauty

And I tried every pleasure
That riches could buy
But not one thing, nor all things
Could completely satisfy

For nothing compares with
The glory of your face
And after all of my wandering
I've finally found a resting place
Annie Borisuk Jan 2014
It is your face and only yours
That I will seek, that I adore
For when I glimpse it, my heart soars
And how can I be silent

It is your love and not another's
That I am living to discover
I will be yours throughout forever
After the stars fall burning

It is your heart and your heart only
That comforts me when I feel lonely
That takes the time to truly know me
When no one else will bother

It is your voice and yours alone
The sweetest voice that I have known
It pleads my case before the throne
Where God Himself is seated

It is your smile, not that of man
That I would give my life to win
Because before the world began
You were thinking of me

And when my time on earth is through
I'll still be seeking only you
Rejoicing in your love so true
Held in your arms forever

Safe in your arms in Glory
Annie Borisuk Jan 2014
I remember the darkness I lived in so long
Dragged under by all of the things I'd done wrong
Afraid to look at you for fear you'd be frowning
Unwilling to take your hand though I was drowning

My past was a chain that I could not release
Even when in your grace you were offering peace
Too caught up in all of my shame and my suffering
To realize your love was what I was rejecting

And you could have just left me alone with my demons
And you could have just sentenced this sinner to die
But in your great mercy you offered me freedom
And clutching my darkness I spat in your face

So tell me how can you love me when I just reject you?
And how can you still be the one on my side?
Your love is what brought me at last to find freedom
Your grace is what saved me when I would have died
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