Ghosts of my mind
Shouts at                          me
through gritted teeth
Bloodshot eyes                   tomorrow
Will be better they said
/////
They also said
                 The sun revolved around the
Earth
What will they come up with next
                        Like
How
                                     I am
Going
                  Crazy?
Absolutely
insane
They said
/////
Meet me in the garden
              The bluebells whispering secrets to the bees
   Not again
                              Let the moon strangle you
               But just wait
For
Me

This book will be filled with the
faces of those who are only
kept alive through my incompetent
words and futile thoughts

Your body is in my mental coma
and I think it’s about time
I pull the plug

/

No words can encompass
the amount of love
flowing from my fingertips

But it is wasted
and filling up the cracks
in the sidewalk

Strangers will trample
my misplaced intentions
and how can I ever be okay
with only seeing you behind
2 inches of museum glass?

12:00am
there are camera flashes going off inside me
capturing every emotion and feeling
because it is right this second
that i feel like i love you

12:02 am
i know we most likely will not last
but let me enjoy the hollywood red carpet moment
let the paparazzi dazzle me
because i think i love you

12:03 am
i know our time is limited
and sometimes i'm 1,000 miles away
but i'm here now
and i love you

My worst regret:
I forgot to tell you while your heart
was still kicking that 
I love you
I love you
the last time I saw you,
was march 23, 2008.
(happy birthday)
but you took your yellow bumblebee
coat, caked in ash and cigarette smoke
and you sat in your garage
loaded pistol in the back in case the asphyxiation
was not enough
let me tell you, the exhaust
was more than enough
it spread like wildfire
into my lungs.

13 years old
is a bit young
I blew out the candles
and you blew
out your brains.

I wonder what would have happened
if I told you that
I love you
instead of watching you go
I think we all wonder from time to time.

i wrote you a 4 page letter,
but I sealed it away in two envelopes
and a roll of tape
because once you read those words
you can not unread them
and you are already so
upset - I do not dare lay
this upon your shoulders.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but none of the sentences came out right
All I really wanted to say was
"I love you, please remember me,
do not leave,
it’s not that I want you to be with me
it’s just I don’t want you to be with anyone else”
and it took me 4 pages to say it.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but then i saw tears struggling down your cheeks
the suns light reflecting off of them
and i will not make it worse
so I folded it in two envelopes
and one roll of tape
and I shoved it in my
3rd dresser drawer down.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but you’ll never see it.
On the second page it says,
" I just want you to be happy"
So I shoved it in my 3rd dresser drawer down.
I can already feel the regret in my blood,
burning red hot
while I watch you go.

reflective light from the laptop
it's burning my iris
but I can't stop looking.

I want to write something
so raw
singing songs of truth
and beauty.

I have chocolate muffin
living under my fingernails.
And blisters festering on my
hands from gardening too much.

and I realize none of that is
dazzling or worthy
of these words.
And things should
only be said
if they are absolutely
necessary.

These words can only mean so much
As they clumsily slip off my lips
Losing their meaning as they enter the world
And your confused expression
Contours into regret
Because you wish I had not said it
My drunken babble
But I meant those sloppy words
They were every bit true
But I should have just kept quiet
Then I might still have you

pierce my eyelids with fish hooks
and reel the thin line in
slamming my eyes shut
so I can finally sleep

I have stayed up countless nights
nailing my body to the hardwood floor
screaming in hopes
that something will change,
nothing does
and in the morning I find
splinters in my back

linoleum tiles replace
the skin on the bottom of my feet
for i find myself either in the bathroom
dying, or the
kitchen trying
and there are no longer
skeletons in my closet,
rather the haunting voices
of family and friends who
chose death over life
and they hang like outdated
fur coats that just
take up space
and I don't know if
I am the hanger or
silk lining inside.

i want to liquify my body

into the fibers of my mattress

solidify your

presence

so i can wake up

in the summer time

with the taste

of your name

on my lips

and your

skin

on my skin

in the summertime

is when i will wake up

to your face

do

re

me

stay with me

fa

so

la

later than this

ti

do

do not leave

so soon

you are

my song,

i can not imagine

my life

without music.

The burs were hanging in trees
Like small suicides, ***** of pathetic waste
And I cried because I no longer owned my body
There were chains clasped around my ankles
And attatched to the seedlings
children pluck
and blow away

And I cried because I am a ******* hypocrite
The way I judge you for obliterating yourself
Sacrificing your health to
A girl who does not care
When here I am kneeled over
The toilet
Sacrificing my health
In order to be skinny

Ribs are cracking under the weight of
Piano keys and rich words
Gluttonous demons whisper
Tales of good fortune
In my ears
When all I yearned for
Was to attend my own funeral
All I wanted was to tighten my knee caps
Remove the marrow in my bones
Rearrange synapses
And guts
Replace vital organs
With sand

I ordered a lobotomy for dinner last night
The savory cuts in my cranium
Tasted like chocolate
And I saw myself lying on
The cold slab of metal
Like I belonged there my whole entire life

But the worst part is
I continue to
Believe my worth is dependent on
How much of me does not exist

I keep lighting myself on fire
and watch as the wax
drips down my body
settling in a lumpy mound
beneath my feat

and

You keep lighting yourself on fire
Until you are nothing
But charred insides
And wasted potential
tortured by everything you were too afraid to do

there are bombs fused to each of your legs
and all you're waiting for
is for me to tell you
it's okay
for me to dust away the gun powder
but that is not my job
you are going to need to save yourself

frayed edges of the putrid words
spewing out of your mouth
droplets of spit spotting my face
burning acid holes in my cheeks
i'm bathing in a tub of radioactive filth
and your angles tangle in the drain along with
the hair and the dirt
but i still love you

it’s 12:01

although it’s a new day

my thoughts are the same, the walls

are sweating

beading down and puddling in my hands

I want to dissect you,

Discover the folds and crevices of your guts

I want to fall in love

But all I ever seem to fall into

Are snake pits and

***** bath tubs

Snort my left over pencil shavings

And maybe then you will understand my words

Understand why you have

Left me so bitter

poison seeping in my veins
because you only speak
when its convenient

burning lips
unspoken words
let's just let the night tear us apart
painting our insides black
your words are sticky like tar
empty in the pupils of your eye

I find it difficult to believe you mean well
when your pores secrete mud
and your body is a cold hard shell
of who you used to be

You can sit there, complacent
Erroneously analyzing the situation
Going over every detail in your head
Vacuously idle inside yourself

You can remain ignorant
Making sure to reside within your provincial conversation
Cautiously tip toeing past anything and everything
That would add substance to your existence

Or you can allow reality to elicit itself
Revealing the raw and dangerous truth
Shattering all predetermined assumptions
Leaving only a disappointing version

Of what you want to be
Who you are
And where you are going
But this decrease in ego

Would add an abundance of experience
To your soul
To your life
Release all restrictions

And be free

I am thinking, like always
No filters or analyizing
Pure, raw, thoughts
Dancing together around a bonfire
The embers popping
and the smoke stings
But I am happy
And my mind is evidence
I'm thinking with no restrictions
And I know you are to blame
I am feeling orange today
Because I woke up before
My alarm; 7:05
And my mind is lighting
Sparklers because its the 4th of July
Even though it's November
Because right now
I am free

reoccurring fascism
boiling over in my head
led by not only the bureaucracy
to which we sacrifice our
god given rights to
but by the
oppressing society
that force feeds us
elated lies
funneling us into
specific life paths
but I did not ask
to be born into
a fascist society
ruled by
a democracy, which is
more of a
soft spoken dictatorship.

So excuse me if
I would rather
practice my own
beliefs, instead of
shoving money up
my *** crack
while i sit behind
a desk for the majority
of my life.

Not to mention
the 18+ years of
a mandatory education
that only taught
me how to pass
a state standarized test
put together by the same
******* idiots
who are too
brainwashed by the generations
before them to realize
that the state
is their new God-
but refuse to believe
that America,
the land of the free,
is a theocracy.

Instead of involving
myself in that obvious
grueling cycle
I think
I would rather
separate myself
from the state,
society,
and the false belief
of legal freedom
that was drilled
into all of our
heads
(I do not need a government
to tell me I am free,
just by them saying that
expresses that I am only free
merely because
they let me be.)
I am free
because I am human

spirits of the gray concrete lives lost
in the days that never existed
i hope they dont find me
but my breath is louder than my heartbeat
keeping still in the shadows of
my own hard shell
don’t tell him im here
be silent and immobile

the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do
is let go of it all when there
is nothing left
but the memories that
made it so hard to leave in the first place

the fireplace cackles and spits
i throw in my head
i throw in my head and
it burns and chars
scrapes and melts
but at least i am healthy
at least i am porcelain
pristine

the leather upholstery tickles
that patch of skin behind your knee
but you stay silent -
wouldn’t dare laugh
you blink until there
is no longer a life worth
living, do not blink
i plead
keep your eyes open until
they begin to water
salt water tears
until they are red and
burning with truth
don’t you dare blink
just let them see your smile
as you stick your face in the flames

the marrow in my bones has begun to liquify
hot molten lava bubbling like
a thick *** of boiling chocolate on the stove
the stars are expiring
rotten milk leaking from the clouds
and accumulating in-between wrinkles
that paint your face like picasso
But when I peer into the darkness
all i can make out is you ripping off
your fingernails
exhaust pipes jammed down your throat

i have to shower four times a day
letting the soap drip into my eyes
to distract myself from your face
scrubbing my skin raw and red
rug burns up and down my arms
carve the bruises out of my legs
from the stains you shamelessly left

13 birthday candles left lit,
melting onto the frosting
wax dried and cracked over your lips
asphyxiated, blue, frayed ropes
tied around the wings of the vultures
who desperately try to peck away
at my rotting flesh
but I have yet to die
So can't you see how it is slightly ironic
Cement plastered bodies all dressed up
for a black tie affair
cigars in their pockets
and money crammed up their *** cracks

1:44 am and I cough up all those 'little white lies'
you pre chewed
and force fed me
glazed eyes
and the phosphorescent glow
from the street lamps below
is the only ******* hope I have left
for humanity

tiptoeing past the mossy graves you told me all the reasons
why this dewy day was lost in translation and how glass
was made by fusing sand
but thats never going to be tangible
unless that cigarette drag is smoother
and the billowing smoke stings my eyes
making them water and i will cry out for some
anonymous object to come and sanctify my chipping flesh
but your glare when you speak excavates the dirt
that permeates in the mausoleums in my heart
catacombs that hold all the secrets

8:04
Rain
Inside and out
Sounding like a dream
And tasting like the bitter smoke from when you caught our bed sheets on fire
(I threw them out)
Charred hearts beating in unison lets hope this lasts forever like the empty pill bottles rolling down hills and right into your shaking hands- stained black from all the buildings
you burnt down
And when I told you about all the abandoned hospitals on the interstate you strung prayer flags and put caution tape all over my naked body because I left my soul underneath the overpass
(I must be a *******)
I continue to eat right out of your ******* hands

ombre sky from the deepest blue to a sandy shade of
unspoken words
its one of those nights where there is an ambience gathering
around the soft light of the street lamps
and there is a chill in the air, the kind that reminds you
that you will eventually cease to exist
smoking cigarettes is a mysterious thing because
you don't smoke to feel
you smoke to die and although there is a sheet
of black ice licking the bottom of our shoes
and our hands are shaky from too much caffeine
i can not finish these words because
there are no sentences, i can not find the right
combination of 26 letters to say what needs to be said
just know that this night is blurry
and when your hand brushes mine
i no longer need these cigarettes to die

Yesterday I saw you at the store
Aisle 3 or was it 4?
Memories came flooding back
As my blood turned cold and black

Our eyes interlocked and we both knew
Our past together was just too blue
So you turned around the other way
Without anything to say

Your sudden presence was a shock
And the way you just turned and walked
You will forever haunt me like a ghost
And that's what scares me the most

7 points
3 planes
9 lights
and this fire in my lungs
your presence was overbearing and I had so much to say
Bursting at the seams with such consequential information
I am a coward
I have never experienced a night where cars ceased to exist
And the wind invaded my pores so profoundly
All the things I could not say
God ******
So many moments where I could feel the letters slipping
Out of my lips, but I collected them
And shoved them back down my throat
And then proceeded to **** them with my conscious
"Are you okay", I asked
"Yes"
"I think you're lying"
silence
silence
silence
That was all I could muster up
But what I really wanted to say was-
I know you're lying
And I want to crawl into your cigarette fingers
Give your lonely chapped soul some company
But that does not even begin to portray the images;
Thoughts inside my brain, chemicals reacting
Refusing
Resisting
I am an imbecile
A decaying bundle of festering emotions and words
Slowly rotting my insides, I wish
I could just tell you
How I actually feel

There are monsters in my head

And they plant poisonous seeds

That latch onto my inner core

Growing roots, so tight and unrelenting

And with every perishing breath I succumb to

The roots squeeze around my heart

As if their disgusting existence depended on

That evil task set before them

I have desperately turned to every source of happiness

I have ingested foreign substances in a

Pathetic attempt to banish these monsters

And their ****** poison seeds

But my options are rapidly crumbling

And the carcasses spite me as

The opposing force loots through

My once dominant empire

And in this moment I have realized

This infamous battle has taken sides with

The clenching roots, feeding them strength

So I raise my white flag and watch

As my insides are clawed at, ripped apart

And I suffer until my final breaths have

Promptly arrived and it is then and

Only then when these monsters peel their ungodly

Faces off that I come to find I am staring back into my own detached

Eyes, but it is too late to stop what I have done because my reality is

Slipping in and out of rationality

Until I am without a doubt vacant

And when the clock pronounces me finished

You will still smell my final moments

As I watch each and every mind replay

My descent with cold eyes and a

Gentle smile plastered with excuses like

The circumstances just weren’t right

*It’s no one’s fault but hers

you gave me your words
delicate and raw
overflowing with consonants and vowels
entwined with meaning that i can't quite decipher
listening so intently
with the mere purpose of saturating myself in your vast
ocean mind

thats how it always is though
you dive into someone expecting to float
but sometimes you sink to the bottom
the water filling your lungs
bubbling in-between what i want and what i receive
i don't mind drowning in you
i like the feeling

there are times like these where the paper stares back
as blank as I stare at it
there are times when my mind stops running and the fog clears out - the pain
has diminished, melted away in the cracks of recent lovers
covering them in a monochromatic film
it dulls the pain

the hum of the vent is whispering sweet nothings in my ear and
i've never noticed how grounding the table is under my elbows
the air tastes of musty filing cabinets but that's okay
because 1,000 years ago it was just a barren field
under my feet

my nose is running slightly and
there's a heaviness in my eyes that I can't explain
but I never knew being happy would mean wrapping up
the memories and burying them
under the desire to be loved

I think I'd rather be sad and introspective than happy and numb
it may be lonesome, but at least I am able to
differentiate between who really cares
and who's only here to say they've climbed the tallest mountain

you are a faceless ghost
living in the marrow of my bones
and sometimes
i feel
like you are sitting
right behind me
but there is no one there
when i turn around

i wish you were there when
i turn around
so then
maybe i could justify
that lingering
sensation
on my fingertips

and why i feel
so connected
to the
emptiness in my bed
(and why I whole heartily
believe you
should
fill it)

we were driving down the freeway
the air was humid in the 70s
and the cars in the opposite lane
looked like eyes trying
to tell me something
and if you were to swerve
i don't think I would stop you.

So we trudged through a field
of midnight grass
and the purple sky was
starless, the moon
barely had anything
to say
Neither did I
smoke billowing from the
slow suicide in my hand
I watched as it danced inside itself
casting a shadow over
the concrete ground
I want to
dance with you
tenderly as the
cancer danced with
the air.

And the wish flowers
populating the ground
were ghost memories
from my childhood so I
kicked them down and
watched as the burs
whisked away, telling
stories to their kin about how
they lived a worthy life
full of unfulfilled wishes

pool lights from your headlights
onto the white flowers
from the bush you almost ran over
I am so sorry
that you choose to throw away
love after love
I would know, you threw me away
just like
that time we
went to the poetry reading
you wrote in your
journal that you were happy I was here
I was happy too
you crumbled that page
and threw it in the
wastebasket.
So I crumbled my body
and threw myself
down the stairs.


But those poor souls
aren't as solid as mine
and although you managed
to crack me
I inserted a gold plated
filling so I can
sparkle in sunlight
but they do not
have the strength
nor the wits to
do that.

it is easy to kiss a boys lips as his hand slides up your leg
to play along letting the infatuation of the moment
control you like a puppet tied to strings
because ******* means nothing, its like breathing
or sleeping
it comes naturally
that is the easy part
human connection, being with someone
despite how many hours grace the day
or how many miles cut between
emotional connection means they are there
no matter what
not just their unmentionables
indulged in your body
the hard part is holding hands
or sipping coffee, puffing a cigarette
in 5 degree weather, just to be together
relationships, romantic or not
require more than just physical elements
and you ask me why i am already okay
it's like you expect me to miss you
my respect for you has begun to decay
but can we still *****?

how can a room
four walls and one window
feel like i have been submerged onto the ocean floor
the air is dense and unrelenting as you invade my brain
you insidious creature, you have latched onto to my heart strings
i am trying to peel you away like the skin of an orange
but you keep sticking
and how harrowing is it that
we have an expiration date
the doctors told me we only have 7 months left to live
and i don't know if i can bare the day to day pain
of looking at you
and seeing a ghost
these words we casually spit out should now be
deliberately picked apart
and digested so the meanings and the letters
can flow into our blood streams
I will still be able to detect the faintest bit
of you within me

my eyes are smashing you with jagged glass
whispering distress calls like
"you will hurt me"
"please don't go"
but your depart is inevitable
and we must assimilate to that tragic truth
Your skin will haunt me
the thought of your touch will induce night terrors
Your mellifluous voice shall pluck apart my flesh
As vultures do, but this is the price that I am willing to pay
because you are worth it all
even with this fleeting time bestowed upon us
Darling,
you have imprinted constellations on my complexion
so whenever i ache for your presence
i will be able to pinpoint your location
by the stars you have scorched onto my skin

dusty books, pages thin and frail
like my mothers bones
decaying and oxidizing - the words fade
when the ink deteriorates
but that doesn't mean they weren't there
you tied a string around my teeth
and ran south for the winter and with each
step you took, a tooth would pop out
a constant reminder that you are no longer
here, but i wonder when i will run out of teeth
or when you will run out of earth
i sat on a friday night indulging myself
in stories and delicately counting the paper cuts on my fingers
but the dainty cuts will never compare to that time we ate cake
until our stomachs became flour, milk, and eggs
and you told me you loved me
then left to **** yourself
drowning in exhaust must be a silent way to go
and that cake won't taste very good in hell
i would know
recall your earliest memory and
divide it by all the unrequited stares
and thats how much i wish you would
untie my teeth, or stop running
and count the number of goosebumps painted on the
back of my neck and that is the
equivalent to the number of ovens you
accidentally left on
but I'm begging you to understand how immense
the ocean is because thats a very long way
to suffocate and salty water
will burn your wounds
Mariana's trench is a dark place
and the letters you wrote me reproduce on the bottom
not even the ugliest scar can revive my flesh that was chained
to those messages
but the meteor craters lick my surface like chloric acid
and all i wanted to do was repeatedly brush my teeth with the ocean sand
and clean my eyes out with mermaid tears
because you left a sickly residue that
hibernates under my fingernails
so next time you open your trunk
and find a mountain of broken glass
just remember that i loved you
i lost my fingers for you
i sold my soul for yours
but it wasn't even close to enough
what else do you want?
should i drain my blood until i am a desert of a human
shall i cut off all my hair?
and even then ill have an eternal debt to you
but you just turn the other cheek
so the plywood under my elbows
applies pressure to my spine
condensed newspapers stuck in the follicles
of the rain drops
but you don't even care

I.
i dont know how to be something that
you call home
and ive tried so hard
but everynight it rains
youre always sleeping
in someone elses bed

literally and figuratively

II.
im writing poetry for someone who
i have never met
i thought i was making love
with these words for you
but im not

III.
im still upset that you
cant see how bad this hurts
ill never admit it
because complaining fixes nothing
so what is it worth
i dont know why
it hurts this much anyway

IV.
but i have my mind
chained and *******
like some kind of beast
sometimes i miss when
people called me crazy

V.
being insane-
like an old friend
or love letters from your first
boyfriend in a box under your bed
i just want things to
be okay

VI.
the window pane is a friendly
reminder that i am allowed
to leave whenever
i wish
and these tired eyes
tell me that everything
will in fact
be okay

‘Reality’ is an empty promise

A word manufactured and fitted

To address this infectious disease

Us humans call life

Because material items,

Deeply rooted beliefs,

And honest emotions,

Only exist within our heads

And if my perception were to be so askew

As to deem myself dead

Then I’m living in the 7th ring of hell

We are fragments of projected images

A wasteland for forgotten dreams,

Useless prototypes,

From the stars that shine in our imaginary minds

We are just fragments of a masterpiece

That we cannot even see

Driving in your car
skin cold from the synthetic air
pumping out the vents
your voice sounded like
a cave
and all of the demons
were crawling out of it

ears defying common sense
the boy who broke my heart
who made me this way
is now the newfound
piece to your collection
my heart feels so
deadly.

2 more months until you are gone
and for some reason
i am counting down the days
summer is just another season
one where i don't want you to stay

how can you ******* look me in the eye
when you knew the whole story
and expect me not to
**** everything between us

i dropped my phone and
the screen shattered
and i don't think I'm going
to fix it this time

your name is the only word i can not say

(forbidden in my veins)

and your hands are roots so

when you place them on my shoulder blades

i moan the 7 wonders over and over



I'm going to hurt you

but right now I'm only going to want you

and let you believe in a higher power

as your lips whisper foreign languages

into my mouth -

i want to see the devil in your eyes



Your skin is a desert with no life

so let me give it some water

if only for a second

let me pull your hair

until the only word you can't say

is my name



i want to *******

but i also want to hold your hand

i want to break your heart

and i want mine to be broken by you

Alien encounters
abducted by my own frontal lobe
sand dripping down my toes like those
sandcastles I used to make at the beach
as a kid with peach fuzz dunes and
flower petal skies I want my
orange bathing suit sewed to my skin and
my finger nails cut too short so it
stings when I waltz on surfaces made
of wood or steel or linoleum
like those victorian queen polka days
when we used to lay on the kitchen floor sunlight
vomiting onto our faces and we laughed anyway
I want your mustache forests and I want to believe in them
and you told me I ran so fast I don't know why I slowed down
there are 6 easter eggs hiding in the garden but
one
has a slug on its shell and when you pick up
the tie dyed droplet surface you'll shriek
in delight
in the light
of the moon
the golden one hides in the creases of
the trees and it will remain there for
1 week until you smell the stench
like emerald gas climbing up your nose
I have dreams of flying
falling
thoughts of
icicles and snow angels
pretending I am someone I am not
an actress with all the lightbulbs and glitter
who am I to say it
me me me me me me
back to the hallway extremities
and ski lift blushing and ocean
drowning I can not wait
for the day that I finally realize
what I need to understand
in order to vacuum the carpet
in order to
in order to

I
broke
my
record player
today
That's also
the day
you broke
my heart
The
songs
keep
skipping
and repeating
Stuck in my head

4 months later and
I am sitting across from you
But the record player must
have mended itself

It's no longer repeating
And you no longer break my heart

eyes heavy like the shackles clasp around his wrists
weighing down my mentality without remorse
exhausting agendas exist and persists
your raw hands, empty with divorce

you told me between book shelves
how the paper reminds you of two summers ago
we now know we were destroying ourselves
ever since the first hello

Decomposing inside my coffin
my bones, particles, organic matter
begin to separate
in a futile attempt
to save the only aspect of life
worth dying for

Robots, depersonalization
Since when was it my
Responsibility to clean up
your ****** remains?
This is your war and
I am (unfortunately)
just here.

There are a set of standard rules
We must obey
And why preach individuality
When you won’t let me be myself,
When I can not break your
******* chains,
You have bounded me to
Twisted staples- lined us all up
To shoot us in the ******* head
And those precious buildings
Concrete jungles
Slabs and poles and rusted metal
Our savored gems and beauties
are the modern day concentration camps
which we built ourselves
prisoners to a schizophrenic institution
but we are too sick
too far gone
to realize
we are
not only the prisoners
but the guards too.

And how can I escape when
Everyplace on Earth is fighting
Down this path of self
Destructive legal freedom
You do not own me
Don’t tell me I am free
And expect me to bow at your
Feet in praise
Just by you deeming me free
Means it is your decision to choose
I am free merely because
I am human
Alive
Spit in the face of those who
Tell you
You can not
Sculpt your life,
They are not you.

And why should I feel obligated
To obey your laws
Your commands
Social constructs to keep
The caged animals inside
Calm
Unwilling
I am not your ******* animal
Your sheep to herd
Everyone believes we have
Modernized our world
Nothing can hold us back!
Rejoice!
Keeping society in order
With cops and a loaded
Pistols, it’s the same
Thing as priests
And wooden crosses.
We have gone nowhere
In the past hundreds of years
Just changed the scenery
Changed the game pieces
We cannot trust the management
Of our lives to anyone but
Ourselves
Yet, why would you even want to?

The state is our new religion
Money is our Yaweh
Sacrifice our own lives
To please the Gods
And I guess if we are talking
In terms of materialistic faith
Then I am a ******* atheist
Do not jam your religion down my
Throat.
No choice.
No voice.
No dignity-
Is all you have ever given me.
Not freedom,
Not a life worth living.

Please do not westernize,
Can’t you see it is not working?
Painting shadows on rocks,
The hazy glow from the stars,
Moon, and heavens
Above,
And I think the most brilliant
But humbling fact
Is that the world will continue
On without us.
Quite frankly, better
Without us.

I am decomposing in my coffin.
Dissolving on my own terms.
The only thing worth living for,
Is the freedom of your
Own body,
Mind,
And soul.
Fighting for liberation
From these death camps,
Hollow graves we call humans.
everything has hardened-
And the brush strokes of concrete
Metal animals screeching,
The glow of synthetic light,
Will never compare to the real thing.

i am angry
blood shooting through my veins like a drugged up ****** addict
relapsing
and my hands are trembling

face; hot and red
you are standing there
******* clueless, in out of your head
and I can not think of the words to say

the splinters on your tongue
are poking my eyes
and the daggers in my words
tear apart your lies

but this is not how I wanted to live
glass breaking, heart shaking
mental violence
hate making

i want to make love to all your imperfections
throw my body into that sad excuse for a soul
and find a reason to stay
give you all, even though I'm not whole

but I am mad
and you are broken
and i don't think I can fix you