Yesterday I saw you at the store
Aisle 3 or was it 4?
Memories came flooding back
As my blood turned cold and black

Our eyes interlocked and we both knew
Our past together was just too blue
So you turned around the other way
Without anything to say

Your sudden presence was a shock
And the way you just turned and walked
You will forever haunt me like a ghost
And that's what scares me the most

waiting

what am I waiting for

I'm never good enough

my words are vacuous

I pretend they aren't

I act like they mean something beautiful but my words are empty and you can try to wring them out

hope that some meaning drips from the dried out shell

but I can promise you they are useless

and how do you expect me to be okay with myself when the only way I am given to communicate is faulty and the connection is bad

I speak like the static on tv channels, hardly any singal

and the fuzziness dominates over the show

it would probably be best if you change the channel, because the connection is lost

I am so lost, and coming after me is of no use

I'm already far too gone

drifting in and out of sanity

in and out of those static channels

if you come after me youll just become lost too

I'm a disease, I'm contagious

just turn back while you still can

do

re

me

stay with me

fa

so

la

later than this

ti

do

do not leave

so soon

you are

my song,

i can not imagine

my life

without music.

i am angry
blood shooting through my veins like a drugged up ****** addict
relapsing
and my hands are trembling

face; hot and red
you are standing there
******* clueless, in out of your head
and I can not think of the words to say

the splinters on your tongue
are poking my eyes
and the daggers in my words
tear apart your lies

but this is not how I wanted to live
glass breaking, heart shaking
mental violence
hate making

i want to make love to all your imperfections
throw my body into that sad excuse for a soul
and find a reason to stay
give you all, even though I'm not whole

but I am mad
and you are broken
and i don't think I can fix you

I have the most unsettling feeling trembling inside me
It is not so much an emotion, but some type of cruel paradox
That can most accurately be described like this:
I am silently full of din
Yet when I feel compelled to be productive, my body shuts down
Like a power plant, whose cords have been violently frayed
I am unstably happy despite my infamous droning sadness
Of which exists only when given permission
But such authority has no name
I want to die with such life
And live as if I am dead
Which is nonsense nonetheless
Nurtured by my inconsistent head

I
broke
my
record player
today
That's also
the day
you broke
my heart
The
songs
keep
skipping
and repeating
Stuck in my head

4 months later and
I am sitting across from you
But the record player must
have mended itself

It's no longer repeating
And you no longer break my heart

I am writing these words
To rid you from my bones
Because you have carved your face into my head
And burned holes in my hands

I no longer wish for you to tag along
In my thoughts
You are a parasite that feeds off of my soul
And this darkness is begininning to hurt

My body is tying knots around my insides
The rope is turning me blue
I have never hated anything
As much as I do you

My heart is collapsing under the weight
Of your memory
I desperately want to hollow out myself
To scrape away the residue that you left me

flying in an airplane at night
she looks out her window, thousands of miles up
the glass fogs at her warm breath
and the lights from the ground below are a reflection of the stars
in the moment of the planes droning hum
she believed she was in space
completely alone
solitude
and a tear rolled down her dewy face
because she did not want to touch the ground
ever again