we sat on the boardwalk
pretending yesterday never happened
and the air smelled like dead fish

last night you kissed me
you were intoxicated and delusional
why are you pretending that you are now sober
why are you pretending that you
are no longer delusional

maybe it's all the **** fish
or maybe shakes and fries
remind you too much of
the girl who stole your soul
and broke all your ******* china

i'm just trying to help you polish your silver
and replace all your shattered porcelain
but apparently you like
walking on shards
and cutting your feet

you're getting blood
on the carpet

frayed edges of the putrid words
spewing out of your mouth
droplets of spit spotting my face
burning acid holes in my cheeks
i'm bathing in a tub of radioactive filth
and your angles tangle in the drain along with
the hair and the dirt
but i still love you

8:04
Rain
Inside and out
Sounding like a dream
And tasting like the bitter smoke from when you caught our bed sheets on fire
(I threw them out)
Charred hearts beating in unison lets hope this lasts forever like the empty pill bottles rolling down hills and right into your shaking hands- stained black from all the buildings
you burnt down
And when I told you about all the abandoned hospitals on the interstate you strung prayer flags and put caution tape all over my naked body because I left my soul underneath the overpass
(I must be a *******)
I continue to eat right out of your ******* hands

dusty books, pages thin and frail
like my mothers bones
decaying and oxidizing - the words fade
when the ink deteriorates
but that doesn't mean they weren't there
you tied a string around my teeth
and ran south for the winter and with each
step you took, a tooth would pop out
a constant reminder that you are no longer
here, but i wonder when i will run out of teeth
or when you will run out of earth
i sat on a friday night indulging myself
in stories and delicately counting the paper cuts on my fingers
but the dainty cuts will never compare to that time we ate cake
until our stomachs became flour, milk, and eggs
and you told me you loved me
then left to **** yourself
drowning in exhaust must be a silent way to go
and that cake won't taste very good in hell
i would know
recall your earliest memory and
divide it by all the unrequited stares
and thats how much i wish you would
untie my teeth, or stop running
and count the number of goosebumps painted on the
back of my neck and that is the
equivalent to the number of ovens you
accidentally left on
but I'm begging you to understand how immense
the ocean is because thats a very long way
to suffocate and salty water
will burn your wounds
Mariana's trench is a dark place
and the letters you wrote me reproduce on the bottom
not even the ugliest scar can revive my flesh that was chained
to those messages
but the meteor craters lick my surface like chloric acid
and all i wanted to do was repeatedly brush my teeth with the ocean sand
and clean my eyes out with mermaid tears
because you left a sickly residue that
hibernates under my fingernails
so next time you open your trunk
and find a mountain of broken glass
just remember that i loved you
i lost my fingers for you
i sold my soul for yours
but it wasn't even close to enough
what else do you want?
should i drain my blood until i am a desert of a human
shall i cut off all my hair?
and even then ill have an eternal debt to you
but you just turn the other cheek
so the plywood under my elbows
applies pressure to my spine
condensed newspapers stuck in the follicles
of the rain drops
but you don't even care

ombre sky from the deepest blue to a sandy shade of
unspoken words
its one of those nights where there is an ambience gathering
around the soft light of the street lamps
and there is a chill in the air, the kind that reminds you
that you will eventually cease to exist
smoking cigarettes is a mysterious thing because
you don't smoke to feel
you smoke to die and although there is a sheet
of black ice licking the bottom of our shoes
and our hands are shaky from too much caffeine
i can not finish these words because
there are no sentences, i can not find the right
combination of 26 letters to say what needs to be said
just know that this night is blurry
and when your hand brushes mine
i no longer need these cigarettes to die

eyes heavy like the shackles clasp around his wrists
weighing down my mentality without remorse
exhausting agendas exist and persists
your raw hands, empty with divorce

you told me between book shelves
how the paper reminds you of two summers ago
we now know we were destroying ourselves
ever since the first hello