poison seeping in my veins
because you only speak
when its convenient

burning lips
unspoken words
let's just let the night tear us apart
painting our insides black
your words are sticky like tar
empty in the pupils of your eye

I find it difficult to believe you mean well
when your pores secrete mud
and your body is a cold hard shell
of who you used to be

i told you i loved you
my voice faltered in the absence of light
the words fell out of my mouth
ungraceful and ugly as ever
it is no wonder your touch went cold
the silence you chose not to sever
your reply was infested with mold
the distance grew and my chest sunk
"that's sweet of you, but i'm just too drunk"
and in that moment i knew
that i was wrong, i do not love you
not at all

how can a room
four walls and one window
feel like i have been submerged onto the ocean floor
the air is dense and unrelenting as you invade my brain
you insidious creature, you have latched onto to my heart strings
i am trying to peel you away like the skin of an orange
but you keep sticking
and how harrowing is it that
we have an expiration date
the doctors told me we only have 7 months left to live
and i don't know if i can bare the day to day pain
of looking at you
and seeing a ghost
these words we casually spit out should now be
deliberately picked apart
and digested so the meanings and the letters
can flow into our blood streams
I will still be able to detect the faintest bit
of you within me

my eyes are smashing you with jagged glass
whispering distress calls like
"you will hurt me"
"please don't go"
but your depart is inevitable
and we must assimilate to that tragic truth
Your skin will haunt me
the thought of your touch will induce night terrors
Your mellifluous voice shall pluck apart my flesh
As vultures do, but this is the price that I am willing to pay
because you are worth it all
even with this fleeting time bestowed upon us
Darling,
you have imprinted constellations on my complexion
so whenever i ache for your presence
i will be able to pinpoint your location
by the stars you have scorched onto my skin

window leaning on an old book the cold winter air
spilling into the room like it has been waiting for years
for this moment, starless sky and illuminated hands
colored blotches speaking in the hushed tone of
unobtrusive shades
there is a single cigarette packed away in the stories
and trinkets, it is whispering sweet nothings
in my ear

and you
you have been lurking in the hallways
your hands, thumbprints, lips
etched into the window glass
so every time i look to see the world
you will be there

Your bittersweet presence
brushes chalk dust across my skin
because i desire you here
but i think that is all

tiptoeing past the mossy graves you told me all the reasons
why this dewy day was lost in translation and how glass
was made by fusing sand
but thats never going to be tangible
unless that cigarette drag is smoother
and the billowing smoke stings my eyes
making them water and i will cry out for some
anonymous object to come and sanctify my chipping flesh
but your glare when you speak excavates the dirt
that permeates in the mausoleums in my heart
catacombs that hold all the secrets

sitting here the air as dense as the tension between
our ongoing glances, but as hushed as we know we are
we are not
the piano notes strum your heartstrings and you say music
is your only escape from this worldly existence
but that is like saying dreaming is the only way
you can see the world
there is always a trap door waiting under your bare feet
all it takes is a little bit of intelligence
to open the locks
and i can not tell you how much this snags
at the threads of my being
but if you do not slow down
then i will jump out

Rain is stampeding your car, a misty haze indulging the sky
eating the buildings, and the neon lights
break with every misspoken word
that fumbles off my lips
But your silence is solicitous
because you know how it feels to love
and to be unrelenting with this dedication
but it is futile because just like the neon lights
it crumbles and burns out and you are here with nothing
but the consonants and vowels left unscathed
and delirious, jumbled in a pattern only the universe comprehends
but it is night and the rain will continuously fall
despite willing it not to
and you will persist to stay bound in your provincial
mindset, despite willing you not to
i will always be analyzing my brain sequences
because i am that science project that slipped your mind
that 5 dollar bill you misplaced
i am all of those desolate nights spent
staring at your stucco ceiling waiting for it
to blink or move or say something audible
it never does and it never will
and the audacity she believes she possesses
churns my head into an excuse to whisper
all those passive things
subtle seasonings that sprinkle on your eyelids
like lavender dust
the pit of my stomach is darkening, waves shatter the tranquility
because i know the storm is imminent and i can not
fathom how to protect everyone
from the sick grasp of the abhorrent events
that are about to choke your eardrums