i see through the gap in my teeth
and smile out of the side of my eyes
because when we were supposed to be right
we weren't
and when we were right
we still weren't

i've got eyes in the back of my head
but don't worry
they're blind

just like my mouth doesn't listen
but my ears say the darnedest things

just like
when our minds
weren't right

young folk

frustration
*******
she'd make love if she knew
if she could
if she would
when her life seems to spiral down
mental capacities limited more and more
she sips a little 80 proof
packs another bowl and waits for
life
   to
    BEGUN
listens to music that reminds her of beautiful boys
that have long gone
moved on
beautiful boys they dance and sing play music together
in her dreams all of them
together smiling faces
cheating messes
probation
with some hesitation
she'd make love if she could
life
frustration
make love to a bar of soap
it's all you got
they ended short short relationship with a parting wish
"go **** yourself, *****"
...and as she stands in shower
wonders if they'd feel satisfied
if they knew she did exactly that
it's all she has
one parting wish
and a bar of soap

simple and sweet
it started
a flirtation
confirmation of
   a "mutual understanding"
little did she know it
  was a
      spiral down...
to nothing better than what she has,
and had many times before
still it continues
it'll continue
until the "understanding"
becomes
"time to move on"
and
"i've ****** up"
and
"aw, ****"
look, girl
you misunderstood.

Occasionally in life you’ll run across an individual who leaves you confused, who twists words and life into something it isn't, who can't be excited for the rest of what life holds because they say they've tasted it all; You have two options upon this meeting, you may walk a faster a pace, protect yourself and go on your way, or you may dive into dark waters and emerge yourself in hurt; Emerge yourself in all who they are, and if this happens, you probably have enough intuitive to know you will be burned. The degree of the burn will rely solely on your confidence in God and that life's lessons will be learned after the scar and you’ll do it because you just can't believe life is done providing for them. So you have this opportunity to love them for what they are, but that love you give, it has high requirements. That love… yours, may be the kind that makes or breaks them. It has to be pure, there may be lust, but lust gets twisted and leaves people sick, your love has to be separate from the physical. It has to be unfailing through your own doubt, and you will doubt, you'll get use to feeling the bite of your nails as they dig into your skin in frustration, you won't draw blood because this love that have signed yourself for has to have so much patience,because who they are is far from who they wish to be, not even good, not even good for you, but it's too late, you're walking down this path you've chosen, hoping like hell it will work out, you love them, because maybe you're the one that will encourage the change, because this world has factors to form who you are and you know you want to be one of the factors in them,the factor that divides the pain and the hurt, and leaves them with the sight of a better life, you have to only hope that when this situation ends, that you will have protected yourself to be able to keep loving as you have, that the lesson they learn, and how it may change them, has been all worth your burn.

strip down to my skin
nothing ******
just lose it all
since i'm in the process of losing it
since all i feel is this vulnerability
might as well leave it on the floor
the jeans,
the shirt,
the bra and the underwear
crumple it up
leave it in a pile
be exactly who you are
****, ***, thighs,
let it all rub
let that natural born friction be
nothing to be ashamed
nothing to be shy
nothing to hold back
no clothing to match
no distractions.

no itches,
pokes,
just skin,
dry or soft it's just skin
no distractions.
i'm going tolet these freckles stand out
let these ******* stand to that
cold
chill
let my wet hair down
and let its water drip
and slide along my spine
i'm going to focus on that drop
no distractions
i'm going to stand here and be me
all or nothing,
and right now,
it's nothing.

come onyou canyou'll sober up in timejust spend the night      this shouldn't be happening      there are plenty of things you could be doing      rather than... this.       it will get out of hand      drama; you hate drama.you could be with your friends that care.you could be doing something that helps, not hurts.something that especially doesn't hurt yourself..Why truly Why are you doing thisthey're just over-reacting.it wasn't that big of a dealthey'll get over ityou meant what you saidyou have an opinion and you stand by itthey are wrongand youare right      that was uncalled for      you could have given the benefit of the doubt      you've known each other a long time     you could have asked calmer than that      it was coming thoughWhy did you do that!?you hurt their feelingsyou could have gotten over itjust waited it outyou could have done itnow you really did it

remember that time
laying in your bed
back when you we both thought we knew
and you stroked my stomach and kissed my hearts
variously placed of course
cleavage. stomach. hips. sleeve.
lustful sweet "**** me now"
boundries not crossed but completely jumped
eh, **** it.
but for now... your hands?
here...
and there.
remember that time...
you smiled and i laughed
made the moment
...laughter.
"ahh ****, ****."
it was just a dream.
snap. back to the percieved
whats the point if i'm going to remember every smile,
moan and laugh
replayed...
over and over...
****...
i'm fertile and *****.