you can undress me,
you can curl my hair,
and dress me up again.
you can make me an orphan,
or apart of a family,
i can ride horses,
or be your best your friend.
as you grow up,
you'll forget about me.
you'll find my creepy one night...
as my eyes roll into the back of my head.
you can disassemble me piece by piece,
or throw me in a gutter
but in the end,
i'm in your memory,
a part of your past,
apart of a moment in time,
i am your doll.
porcelain and breakable,
but very rememberable.

i lay in the dark and think back to childhood nights,
the comfort of a night light was there,
casting shadows on the walls,
creating hidden spots for lurking bad men,
but i didn't fear,
that small glow was a glow of
security not doubt.
a reminder that i was not alone,
just simply one room apart of a house full of love.
here i lay in the dark,
very tall and very grown.
there are no more shadows or bad men lurking.
it seems that these days
i've never feared more than the nothing i can't see now.

never wanted
from the start
to be or
not
   to
     be
   to
en-dure,
painfiully.
        he loves me    
                        he loves me not